A Wandering Heart
by BlessedMay
Summary: When your heart calls you to wander with the wind, sometimes you need gravity to pin you back down. Updated randomly. M for language.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) This story was inspired by Ysar's "Breathe Again." If you haven't read that fic yet, put it on your list of things to do, especially if you're a Jacob/Bella shipper. It's an amazing story.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, that's why it's called FANfiction. Some of the terminology I use in the story could be construed as racist, but realize that I'm writing this story from the stand point of a Native American woman, and the terms I use are ones of endearment. :-)

Anyways, enjoy.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Home is where the heart is.

Everybody says it, most people believe it. My question is: where is the heart? I've been a wanderer for many years and if it wasn't for my cousin, Sam Uley, I'd be halfway to Florida by now. My dad was a wanderer too, it's why I'm restless. My whole life was caused by a little wandering.

18 years ago, my father was tasting the fruits of freedom. He filled his tank with gas and just started driving. 500 miles later, he stopped in a small town called Forks. It was supposed to be a quick stop, just to visit an old friend from high school, Harry Clearwater. Harry introduced him to Billy Black, a fishing buddy, who then proceeded to introduce him to Naomi, his wife. Naomi Black was the friend of everyone in town and on both the Makah and Quileute reservations. With hundreds of Native American women between the two, it stands as a stroke of luck that dad fell in love with Mary Uley.

Their love affair was brief, but intense. My father, I believe, truly loved Mary, but the spirit of a wanderer does not easily find rest. He waited until I was three years old before leaving. My mother was heartbroken. Not even a year after he was gone, she passed away from the sheer power of her grief. Sam's family took me in, raised me like my father should have. No matter how many calls were made, or how often letters were sent, he never came home.

Unfortunately, as much as they tried, they could not take my wandering spirit away. I would constantly walk off as a chlid, not returning until several hours later when the police were already notified and properly concerned. I stayed with them until my 16th birthday. Things were getting a little freaky around the rez. Sam had gotten a huge growth spurt last year, broke off his engagement to Leah (which really pissed me off), and then his new flame, Emily Young from the Makah rez, wrestled a bear and lost.

So I left, La Push just got a little too freaky deaky for me. I wandered aimlessly for a long time before I got the brains to look for my dad. People had lost contact with him, but I still had his last known destination: Orlando, Florida. Why that metropolitan area, I don't know, but I was determined to find him.

On my sweet sixteen, I skipped the party and borrowed my Uncle's truck. The old Ford couldn't go very fast, but it could go far if I treated it well. I managed to avoid my contacts back home for fear I'd be sent back to the rez. I would stop occassionally and end up working in dinky little restaurants for gas money. I would always move on eventually, but it was nice to drink up indivdual cities' cultures. At one point I ended up sticking around this small town in Pennsylvania on one of my longer detours. I made some friends, moved in with them and hung around for a year or so. I spent the majority of my 17th year with Emma and Jackson. In fact, I got so damn comfortable, I figured calling the rez would do no harm. Sam answered the home phone. The conversation went something like this:

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sam, it's me, August."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Around..."

"Get back home, _now_."

I was naive enough to think that he wouldn't come fetch me once I told him how well I was getting along in Burgettstown. That naivité was my ultimate downfall. I booked it like the devil himself was chasing at my heels and was at the state lines of West Virginia and Virginia when he caught up with me. Sam was pissed, but overwhelmed with joy that he found me. I couldn't burst his bubble, so I just lumped my bags in his car and let his old flame, now fiancee, Emily drive my truck.

I sort of gave him the cold shoulder one the way back to La Push, but as far as I was concerned, he was a jailor taking me back to prison. The title sort of fit him anyways, what with his consistantly sober expression and huge frame. And when I say huge, I'm not exaggerating. He was like a human Sasquatch! I didn't think it was humanly possible to get that large, but trust Sam to try the impossible and succeed.

The home back on the rez was just like I remembered. Cozy, small and packed with a family's warmth. Sam wouldn't tell me what happened to his parents, so when I asked Emily, she explained that apparently packing up and spontaneously deciding to move into an RV to see the world is a point of shame in Sam's eyes. He has too many connections to the tribe to really stray out of his comfort zone. All I could think was, "good for them." They had always talked about venturing out and seeing the world, but their obligations to Sam and I had held them back. I guess when I left, they had more reason to explore.

I'm beginning to think that there's something in the water here on the rez, because a lot of the boys I used to know as scrawny string beans could now give the jolly green giant a run for his money. Just paint them green and make them wear leaves and the look will be complete. It's bad enough them wandering around in shorts alone, are they trying to give a girl a heart attack?

Sam's got a freaking entourage now too. I mean, he always hung out with Jared when we were younger, but now he's got a whole pack of the bronze skin boys following him around. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty convenient for male watching/ogling, but it's kind of strange that they all wander around together. I thought it was girls who were supposed to wander around like pack animals. The funny thing is, sometimes I could swear everything they do is choreographed because they move in synchronization. For instance, we went to the beach for my 18th birthday, and even though the water's too cold for swimming, most of the girls wore bathing suits. Everytime a girl would walk by, they would all give them looks of... hunger, for lack of a better word, all at the same time.

Except for Sam and Jared, and Quil too for that matter. Little Quil Ateara, who is no longer little at all, he's become strangely attached to Claire Young, Emily's sister's daughter from the Makah rez. She's barely a day over three now, but she's cute and charming, so I suppose it's normal for him to become her guardian of sorts. Guess there's just something attractive about us russet skinned women.

Sometimes though, I really think there's something going on I'm simply unaware of. They really do act like a wolf pack sometimes. I'm probably just delusional though, nothing could ever happen in La Push., the rez just doesn't entertain crazy behavior. But those boys, Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil, Brady, Colin and Seth, they all look strangely similar and act in sync. Even Leah gets into it every once in a while. But for the most part she just scowls. I think she's still angry at Sam, especially now that Emily has asked her to be her maid of honor. Talk about cold. And honest, longsuffering Leah said yes.

I've been back at the rez for the better part of a year now, but two people have been noticeably absent. Embry Call and Jacob Black. I've never been really close to Jake, he used to follow Bella Swan around and I was more interested in hanging out with the boys. Embry was a good friend to me growing up and if I'm truly honest with myself, I've always had a small crush on him.

The talk around town is that Jacob needed some fresh air and a new perspective after his breakup with Bella Swan. He took off and Embry followed to make sure he didn't end up drunk in a ditch somwhere. Nobody's quite sure when they'll be back, but there's a look in Sam's eyes that says he knows they'll return. That's another quirk of the people and place. There's a surety here, as though, no matter what happens, no matter where people go, as sure as the sun will rise and set, people will always return to La Push. To the rez. To home.

Home. That's what this place is. To whoever needs to be here, or whoever needs to get away from it, La Push will always remain home. Though, I'm not sure what this place means to me anymore. It's no longer my prison, but I'm not sure it's my home either. The biggest lack about this place is that nobody really has fun anymore. I mean, I don't exactly remember this place as being the fun spot of the state, heck, even the county, but I don't recall it ever being so serious. It's almost as though people have some serious weight or duty hanging on their shoulders. At least Rachel's fun.

Oh boy have _we _torn up the town. Rachel's 21, so she's bought us some booze a few times and we've gotten uproariously drunk. It's always fun to see the guys' reactions when we end up running down to First Beach in nothing but our panties. Sam seems ashamed to call me his cousin at this point, but Paul seems to delight in seeing Rachel smashed and reckless. Though I have to admit I've started laying off the liquor a bit after ending up wandering around the woods, lost and drunk as a skunk. I had given up on finding my way home when I heard a howl. A few actually. Scared the hell out of me. I started running and just when I thought I was free of them, another would howl from so close that I'd panic and start running again. I'd nearly given up on making it out of the woods alive when I was suddenly in a more familiar setting. Home was just up over the hill and I was safe from the wolves.

Whether they were out for my blood or saviors, I was glad to be home. I swore I'd never get _that _drunk ever again.

Despite all the weirdness around La Push and two of the boys being gone, the Uley's house started to feel like home again. Yeah, I missed Emma and Jackson, tiny Burgettstown and the freedom to wander whenever I wanted to, but there were so many things that make it worth the while. Like, Sam's warm hugs, Emily's cooking, the beautiful Quileute boys and Rachel. Somehow, I have a family again. The funny thing is, I don't think I ever lost it.

I can't wait until Embry's back.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not sure if it was the overwhelming warmth or the feeling of being stared at that woke me up. What I do know however, is that my bed felt like it had rocks under it. I stretched slowly, lazily, before staring at my alarm clock long enough for the green squiggles to make sense. I blinked a few times before I could decipher "7:30." I laid there a minute longer, wondering why I was up so damn early. Normally I'm not awake until 9, let alone functioning until noon. A wadded up paper ball plunking into the side of my head reminded me.

"Embry, would you cut it out!?" I had shucked out of my sleep shorts and was in the process of buttoning up my jeans that had spent the night on the floor before my words clicked in my head. My eyes snapped to the chuckling figure sitting at my desk and froze. Who...? A smile lit up my face.

"Oh my God, Embry!" I hurled myself at the big, brawny boy and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Good to see you too August." He pried me off his broad chest and gave me an intentionally scandalous inspection. His gaze burned all the way down and all the way up. I fought the urge to cross my arms over my chest because I knew that's what he wanted me to do. "When did you grow up so beautiful?" I lightly punched his chest and laughed.

"Somewhere between here and Pennsylvania." His eyes went wide and he pulled me close again.

"What made you come back?" He grinned smugly, "I _knew _you wanted my body after all!"

"Don't flatter yourself Big Foot, I didn't come back willingly." I think my answer shocked him, so I took the opportunity to dress completely. I long ago figured out the art of changing your shirt and putting on a bra without flashing anyone, so Embry didn't get an eyeful. No matter how much I like the guy, I don't think it's wise to tempt the male gender as a general rule. I struggled into my tan bra and pulled a dark green spaghetti strap top over it. The top was only tight over my bust, the rest of it was free to flow in the wind.

"Sam had to drag you back, didn't he?" It was a rhetorical question that we both knew the answer to.

"I needed to get away Em, don't hold it against me." His full lips pulled down into a pout.

"I'm not gonna hold it against you, I just don't understand how you could not miss this place." _Miss me _were his unspoken words.

"Trust me, I missed everyone, I just had to get away. It eats away at me to just sit around. I was born to wander, restlessness is in my blood." Embry looked unhappy, but resigned.

"Whatever, changing the subject. How'd you sleep?" I stretched, trying to work out the kinds in my spine that hadn't eased since I awoke.

"I'm sore, my bed felt like it had freakin' rocks in it or something." He looked suspicious all of a sudden; the sly grin and twinkle in his eyes clued me in.

I suspected foul play, so I went over to my bed and lifted the mattress. Sure enough, five good size stones were underneath. All conveniently signed by one Embry Call in black sharpie. I think it was my snarl that clued him in on my mood. I picked up the largest rock and threw it at Embry as hard as I could. Despite the close quarters, my sense of aim showed through. The rock barely grazed his right arm before clunking into the hallway. He laughed loudly, too loudly. My pride was already injured, laughter on top of that was just too much.

"Embry Call, you're going _down_." He stopped laughing abruptly and ran out of the room in a hurry as I launched myself at him. He gave a little squeal as he clumsily ran down the hall, purposely bumping into doorways and the like for dramatic affect. I finally caught up to him when he collapsed on the couch in mock fear.

"No August! Please don't eat me!" My serious expression crumbled as we dissolved into laughter. I slumped onto the floor next to the couch and we both laughed hard enough to wake the dead.

"What the hell is going on in here?" That was Paul, antagonistic as usual. I grinned broadly and shrugged. He would never understand my explanation.

"I swear, if we left you two alone long enough, either the world would explode or you'd cure cancer." Quil said, quirky and witty as was his normal behavior. I pushed myself up from the floor, using Embry's naked chest as support. I noticed both Quil and Paul had forgone shirts today as well. These boys and their lack of attire. I launched myself over the back of the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Embry rolled off the couch and onto the carpet. His face was mashed into the carpet so I couldn't decipher his incomprehensible mumbling.

"What was that Embry? I don't speak carpet. Maybe you should stand up and face me like a real man." In a half second he was up off the floor and in the kitchen's doorway. Quil and Paul crowded around, anxious to see what happened next.

"Was that a challenge little girl?" I spun around to face him with a raised eyebrow and my hands on my hips.

"You don't even want me to go there. You can't handle this _little _boy." I deliberately emphasized 'little' because I knew the irony would amuse him. Sure enough, Embry grinned and relaxed his posture. Paul snorted and let a breath out sharply has he realized there would be no fight. As if I was stupid enough to take on one of these giants.

"Suck it up boys, I am not here for your entertainment." Quil chuckled at my comment, Paul sneered.

"Woman, I'm hungry. Make me food." Paul and Quil looked at Embry as though he had just declared his undying love for Leah. "What?" I smiled when the boys spoke.

"You would eat something _she _cooked?" Paul's reaction was expected. Over the past year or so, I had thoroughly convinced the guys that I couldn't even boil water, especially after seeing how much they could consume in one sitting.

"Um, yeah, this girl could give Emily a run for her money." They looked dubious. I yawned, breaking up the stare down.

"I don't know Embry, waking me up at 7:30 was not very nice of you." His eyes widened; I think the thought of me not making him food was more than he could take. Or maybe it was the thought that he might have to cook for himself for once. Either way, he wasn't happy.

"Don't torture me for it, I wanted to wake you at 5:30, but Sam told me to wait until a reasonable hour." He was pouting, I was about five seconds away from giving in.

"7:30 is not a reasonable hour in my book." He whined, like a puppy. His bottom lip trembled. Oh no! Not the puppy dog face.

"I just couldn't wait to talk to you. You know I missed you." Oh God, my resolve was crumbling. He whimpered and I was done for.

"Alright, I give!" He smiled broadly, dropping the act easily. Quil and Paul looked impressed. "Pancakes?" Embry nodded eagerly, so I started getting the stuff out.

"I thought you couldn't cook August." Paul honestly sounded offended. I turned over my shoulder and smiled. I turned back to the grill and poured on some batter in and pressed it down with a spatula. I make them nice and thin so they cook fast.

"I never said that, now did I?" The boys seemed to be catching on to my scheme.

"No, you just systematically ruined every meal you were put in charge of." I detected a smidge of admiration in Quil's voice. I felt like laughing maniacaly, but refrained from doing so. I think that might scare the boys a little too much. I flipped the pancakes and smiled at the perfectly tanned side that had formed from the hot pan. I love when pancakes cook just right.

"Why would you do something like that?" Embry was obviously confused. His eyebrows furrowed over his dark brown eyes comically.

"Have you seen how much you guys eat? Had they known, I would've never been able to leave the kitchen!" My explanation seemed to suffice. Quil and Paul took their seats at the table as the first pancakes came off the stove. I put them on their respective plates and lightly dribbled syrup over them.

"I like more syrup than that..." Quil's voice trailed off as I fixed him with an intense stare.

"Trust me, these pancakes are already sweet without. I put brown sugar in the mix." The boys began to look almost violently hungry, so I handed them their plates and went back to the stove to keep cooking.

As thought the sound of forks clicking against plates was a signal, more boys entered the house. Colin and Brady came in and I pointed for them to join the other three. I was halfway through the pancake mix when Jared, Leah and Seth entered as well. I resigned myself to never being free again as the group dug into the hearty meal. When the boys were finally stuffed and everyone, including Leah, looked happy and satisfied, I collected their plates and placed them in the sink.

"Embry, you're on dishes duty because you started this whole thing." He immediately panicked and started dishing out excuses.

"You know, I'm really busy today and I just don't have time..." I cut him off with a wave of the hand. Excuses are like butts: everybody has one and they all stink.

"Don't feed me that bull crap Em. You're gonna do those dishes. If I find out you foisted these dishes on anyone, well..." I trailed off, but the message was clear.

"I hate to say it, but you're really not that intimidating." Colin, so youthful and unaware. He was sitting on the counter top, his soft brown eyes glinting playfully.

"Ask Embry what happened the last time he pissed me off." He asked and Embry paled, I didn't think he was capable of that particular shade.

"Rocks in the muffins, salt instead of sugar in the sweet tea, snakes in my sock drawer, wolf spiders in my shoes..." His voice faded as he remembered the worst prank of all. These pranks are a matter of pride with me. It's truly my biggest fault. When I get payback, it's got to be good. No halfsies for me.

"Tell him Em." The others leaned in, absolutely fascinated with Embry's apparent distaste with the pranks I pulled on him all those years ago.

"She put bleach in my shampoo bottle." I smiled as all the others shared mixed expressions of fear and amusement. "I had blond hair and pale streaks down my skin for weeks. I was miserable."

"But you earned it and you never got me so angry ever again." The others looked a little daunted, but over all amused at the situation Embry had managed to wind himself up in.

"What in the world did you do to end up in a mess like that?" Brady had a twisted smile on his face as he casted glances between Embry and I. I shifted against the counter and gave Embry a smirk. Colin leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.

"Was it real bad?" He asked. I turned to whisper in his own ear and he froze in surprise.

"The worst." I reached over and ruffled his hair before attempting to hop up onto the counter as well. I slipped off the edge however and nearly plastered myself against the linoleum. Fortunately, Colin caught me around the waist and hauled me up beside him. I have never thought of myself as a small person, because honestly, I'm not, but when Colin held me, I felt lighter than a feather. He barely put any effort into holding me, it's like I was no burden at all. I was drawn back to the situation at hand when Embry spoke again.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He rose from the chair and tried to make a mad dash out of the kitchen, but Paul and Leah physically blocked him. He twitched, discomfort evident.

"Oh no, no, no. You're not squeezing out of this one boy." Leah placed her hands on his shoulders, playfully pushing him back into his seat. Embry went along with her urgings and slumped into his chair.

"Yeah, c'mon Embry, spill the beans!" Colin was almost bouncing from excitement. Embry sighed heavily before admitting defeat.

"Alright, I.." Whatever came next was a low mumbled mess, leaving everybody else up to their own interpretations.

"You stole a dress?"

"You broke her dresser?"

"You ate her prom date?"

"What? No!" Embry looked surprised at what they thought he said. "Why would I steal a dress?" Leah mumbled something under her breath that made Paul and Quil, who happened to be next to her, chuckle.

"Say it loudly and more clearly this time Embry. No need to make people think you're a crossdresser." I couldn't resist that shot. He just made it too easy to poke fun at him. Embry scowled at me and then spoke again.

"I raided her panties drawer and handed them out to people at school." The others, with the exception of Leah, laughed heartily. Leah scowled deeply, sharing in my anger.

"No wonder she tormented you. You're an asshole Embry." I nodded at the other girl's statement. Colin was laughing almost hysterically beside me so I shoved him hard, which didn't even affect him, and hopped off the counter. I was ready for a change of subject.

"Anyways, get started on those dishes, you punk. If you got work to do today, you'll want to move fast." I slappedEmbry's delightfully muscled shoulders and exited the kitchen.

"You're just gonna leave me to do these dishes on my own?" He sounded offended, but I was feeling a little vindictive.

"Suck it up Sasquatch!" The boys chuckled and followed me out of the room. We gathered out on the porch in the late morning sun. It was always nice to see the sun shining so brightly; in La Push it was a rare sight.

"I wonder when Jake will come back." Colin sounded wistful. Sometimes I forget he's only fourteen.

"He'll come back when he's ready kid, and not a moment sooner." He frowned at the nickname, but accepted what I had to say.

"But Embry's back, so maybe Jake will come home soon too." I placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

"Don't count the seconds." I sat down on the edge of the steps that led off the porch and Colin clumsily sat beside me. He inched a little too close for my comfort, but I was slowly getting used to friendly affection. At least, that's what I hoped Colin was feeling. Just the thought of anyone feeling more than that made me panic for a moment. Colin rubbed my shoulder when I stiffened up, but I relaxed under his touch. His hand slid off my shoulder as Jared and Brady joined us.

"Do you think Sam will make him catch up on the school he missed?" Quil asked. I turned to him and smiled.

"Heck if I know. I missed out on Jr. and Sr. years of highschool and Sam only made a little fuss. Of course, I went back and got my GED, so I suppose he wasn't so worried about me not having an education." I paused and frowned, " I don't know why it's his business anyway. Billy Black's the one who should be worrying about his son's education."

"Sam's one of those guys that cares for the whole community, not just his own blood relatives." Quil's explanation made sense, so I nodded in agreement.

"Emily's been a good influence on him." Beside me, Leah sucked in a breath sharply. I wanted to smack myself for being so insensitive.

"Emily's a good influence on everybody." Sam said as he exited the house. He stood behind us, like a father watching over small children. Colin's boyish smile only added to the effect.

"Sam, I didn't know you were up." I said by way of greeting. He snorted and ran a hand through his hair, which was still mussed from sleep. A few quick swipes through it and he looked serious and sober as usual.

"After the ruckus you and Embry made this morning..." He trailed off and I shrugged.

"Sorry," I said, not really apologetic. I thoroughly enjoyed messing around with Embry, and if the world had a problem with it, well, they could just suck it up in my opinion.

"Are you gonna be this way when Jake gets back too?" I huffed at Paul's question. How dare he even assume I would change my character for one person. I leapt off the porch and into the grass. I landed in a roll because I tripped a bit on the launch. I rose unscathed however, flaunting my skills of randomness. Sam looked sufficiently chastising as my behavior. Seriously, does he not know how to smile anymore?

"It's doubtful. Only Embry inspires the mischeviousness in me." I batted my eyes and started wandering across the yard.

"Where are you going Auggie?" I twirled around to look at Embry as he peered out the kitchen window. I raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but didn't comment on it.

"Just gonna wander for a while. I'll be back in time for lunch." Colin raced up to catch me, an eager grin on his face.

"Are you gonna be cooking lunch today too? Those pancakes were amazing." His enthusiasm and open admiration were easily seen in his eyes and heard in his voice. I smiled at him, his grins are so infectious.

"I suppose I could." If possible, his grin became broader. All of a sudden, he threw his arms around me and gave me an impulsive hug. I was swept up off my feet and pinned to his body. It wasn't uncomfortable, but I panicked for a moment before relaxing in his grips. A kid, he was just a big kid. He held me for a moment longer with his face pressed into my hair breathing deeply and then placed me back on the ground. His grin was sheepish, so I forgave him for assaulting my personal bubble.

"Don't wander too far August." I nodded in understanding before waving at the guys and taking off into the forest. I think a few of the boys followed after me for a while, but I didn't complain because after a few minutes their sounds faded away.

Not many people could understand my love for wandering. There was something wonderful about being alone with nature, having the peace to just think without any interruptions. There's a certain lull to these woods. I always felt so free when I wandered here. I went as deep as I could before I was sure that if I went any further I'd never find my way back. I took a seat on a large, mossy rock and leaned against a nearby tree. I don't know how long I sat there, but I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I felt drowzy. I figured that I had just dozed off, so I stood and stretched the kinks out of my neck.

Hearing a rustle in the bushes next to me, I turned to my left only to find a large, brown wolf stretching like it just woke up too. The enormous creature yawned wide before shaking it's fur out. Suddenly, the wolf fixed it's brown eyes on me and we both paused. I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do if faced with a wolf. Sure, the Quileutes were raised to respect the wolves because they're supposedly our ancestors, but I don't remember wolves in the zoo ever being this big. Time had frozen between me and the wolf and I wasn't sure what to think.

I was drawn out of my musings by the wolf approaching me. His tail was slowly wagging from side to side, but I didn't know what that meant. The wolf came close enough to press his nose to my hand and my knees gave out. I crumbled at the knees and fell back onto the rock. The wolf leaned down and pressed his nose to my neck. I may have just been delusional, but I could have sworn the wolf was _nuzzling _me.

"Oh, oh my." I gasped when the wolf slowly licked my neck. I carefully raised my right hand and stroked the wolf's warm fur. A breeze wisked through the trees, suddenly chilling me. I pressed my face into the wolf's neck and breathed in. The wolf smelled musky and woodsy. I don't know why I felt so safe with the wolf, but somehow I knew he wasn't going to hurt me intentionally.

"I guess you're a good wolf then, huh?" The wolf pulled back and I smiled at him."Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I told Colin I'd cook lunch." The wolf, as though he understood what I was saying, backed up to give me space to rise.

"Oh hell," I muttered, glancing around, "how do I get out of here?" The wolf came up to me and tugged on my shirt as he walked backwards. "Hey! Watch the shirt! It's one of my favorites." The dark green spaghetti strap shirt was very flattering to my ample figure. The wolf tugged again, more gently this time.

"Okay, guess I'm following you." The wolf released my shirt and started an easy lope through the trees. I followed him, watching his tail sway as his hips rolled with each step. The trip seemed shorter than before, but I wasn't going to complain. The trees parted ahead, revealing Sam's house. I turned to thank the wolf, but he was already gone.

"Auggie! Where have you been?" Colin stepped off the porch and ran towards me. "You were gone for so long." He hugged me and pressed his face into my hair. He breathed in deeply and paused a moment, but then relaxed. His grasp made me feel slightly uncomfortable, but I reminded myself that he was just a big kid.

"Sorry Colin, I just lost track of time." His white teeth glinted in his smile and I found myself smiling back. We headed back towards the house where Seth was napping on the bench. His light brown hair was ruffled and I couldn't resist the urge to run a hand through it.

He was like my little brother and so was Colin. They were my family and this was my home. Colin's stomach growled loudly. I smiled. Time to start lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

For the next few weeks, I spent much of my time in the woods. My big wolf companion would follow me around and whenever I got lost, he would lead me back home. It was nice being able to think and wander around without having someone who would talk back. As much as I love people, I enjoy my solitude. The ability to take long walks through the woods without the fear of being lost was liberating. My wolf friend was the best thing that had happened to me.

Three weeks after I first got lost in the woods, Jacob came back. He's tense and no where close to being the fun loving boy who used to make mud pies with Bella Swan. There were times when he'd turn and smile at me, but for the most part he kept to himself. It didn't bother me, I had Embry to entertain me and Colin dogging my every foot step. I think the younger boy has developed something of a crush on me, but I seem to be able to avoid any awkward conversations. Besides, he blushes severely anytime I bring up how often he follows me around, so I'm not pushing the issue.

Today I'm hanging out with the boys at First Beach. They've got this crazy fascination with cliff diving, so I'm going along to make sure nobody dies. Most of the other girls are comfortable enough to wander around in bikinis and flirt with the boys, but I'm more conservative. One pieces are the way I go. This particular suit is my favorite. It's blue on one side and black on the other; reversible. The best thing about the suit is that it pulls everything together. My chest is... bountiful, to put it lightly. I have to be very careful about what I wear.

Ahead of me I can see Colin jogging up the hill in green swim trunks. I was told they usually just wore cut off jeans, but I made them wear swim trunks instead. Embry, Paul and Jared are busy today, so it's just me, Colin, Brady, Leah, Seth and Jacob. Sam stayed at home with Emily. Kim opted out of going because Jared wouldn't be here and Quil's babysitting Claire. So other than the boys, it's just me and Rachel, who is looking gorgeous as usual.

Rachel was wearing a white string bikini with purple polka dots. Against her bronze skin, the white almost gleamed. She had parted her black hair then tied her hair in braids that hung over her shoulders. She had brought with her a sachel that I jokingly said, "could hide a dead body." I always felt inadequate around her because she was so beautiful. I told her that one time and she had laughed at me. She said that skinny didn't equal attractive and that she sometimes she wished she had my curves. I couldn't agree.

I've been considered overweight for years. It's never really bothered me, but it always lingers in the back of my mind. While I was in Pennsylvania, Emma took me to a dress shop and got me measured so I'd have something nice to wear to her 18th birthday party, which was formal event. Apparently, I'm only a few inches off from having a perfect hour glass figure. I think that it's just a nice way to say I'm fat in a pleasant way. Rachel sees it differently, but whatever.

Beside me, Jacob plopped down on the blanket and started rummaging through the basket of food that I brought. I smacked his hand before he could grab any food. He frowned, but gave up the search. I opened up my book and started reading. Jacob leaned over, trying to figure out what I was reading, so I showed him the cover. He nodded and looked at me.

"What?" I asked, disconcerted from his staring.

"You're not going swimming?" He asked, his voice low and husky. I pursed my lips and shook my head.

"Wasn't planning on it." I turned back to my book and tried to tune out Jake.

"Guess I'll have to change that." The book was plucked from my hands and tossed onto the blanket. I started complaining until Jake scooped me up into his arms.

"Jake! What the hell are you doing?!" He tossed me over his shoulder and started walking. I screamed at him the whole way up to the top of the cliff. Colin and the others merely stood by and laughed. Well, Colin wasn't really laughing, he looked irritated, but didn't do anything about it.

"Oh no..." We were standing at the edge, but I was no longer over his shoulder; he was now cradling me in his arms.

"Ready?" He asked. My eyes were wide, I shook my head. "Good."

And then we jumped. The wind whipped through my hair and the salty breeze kissed my cheeks. We crashed into the water and sank. I kicked out of Jake's arms and shot towards the surface. It felt like it took forever and when I finally surfaced, I gasped. My eyes were sore from the salt water and my breaths were harsh as I tried to make up for the lack of oxygen.

"Now wasn't that fun?" Jacob asked, wading water in front of me. I swam over to him and slapped him. I reeled back in pain and started to sink immediately. Jake grabbed me and pulled me onto his back, mumbling something along the lines of: "I didn't even kiss her."

"Do you have a freaking face of steel?" I murmurred in his ear as he swam us back to shore. Jake didn't reply, merely continued swimming. On the shore, Colin was standing with his fists balled at his side; anger was written on his features.

Once I could reach the ground, I released Jake's back, but he didn't release me. He kept a hold on my waist and wrist as he walked me over to the blanket. Rachel was waiting, hand held out expectantly. They both inspected my hand before determining that there was no real damage, I was just sore. I had thought that because I was injured, any situation would be avoided. I was wrong.

Colin approached Jake, a ferocious look in his eyes. He gave the other boy a hard shove, making Jake reach over and push me out of the way. Colin followed his action and grabbed my hand to pull me over by him. Jake didn't like that however and grabbed my other hand so that I was caught between the two of them.

"Let her go Colin." Jake's voice was deep, frightening. In response, Colin growled at him. Wait, growled?

"You let her go, before you hurt her again." I'd never heard the younger boy sound so serious before. He was normally very sweet and fun loving.

"Hurt her?" Jake laughed darkly, "I can't help it if _she _hits _me." _The others were crowding around now. The breeze hit me and I started shivering. The boys seemed oblivious of the temperature, but I was not.

"Guys?" They both turned to me. Colin still seemed angry, but I had Jake's undivided attention. "I'm kinda freezing my ass off here." Jake immediately snagged my towel off the blanket and wrapped it around me. He seemed to wonder about his next move before he pulled me into his arms. I gasped at the warmth emanating from his body.

"Jeez Jake, did you swallow a furnace or what?" He chuckled and I could feel the rumble in his chest. I could've sworn Colin growled again, but the fight seemed averted for the moment.

"You feeling better now?" He asked. I nodded, but I wasn't quite ready to leave his embrace. Jake didn't give any notifications that I was unwelcome either. In fact, he seemed downright pleased that I didn't immediately move away.

"Awww, would you look at the cutsie patootsie couple." I abruptly pulled out of Jake's arms and turned to face the now approaching Embry. He grinned teasingly as I felt my face flush from embarrassment. Of course, I recovered with style.

"Cutsie patootsie? What have you been reading, the Barbie dictionary?" He flushed in turn and Quil joined in.

"Embry, you _read?" _The group shared a chuckle as I plopped down on the blanket. There's nothing better than catching somebody off guard with a witty comment and then getting back up from another friend. It fills your heart with warmth. That and it's just so hilarious to see Embry blush.

"So, who's hungry?" The answer to my question was a flood of hungry boys rushing to the blanket. Colin automatically placed himself at my side and surprisingly, Jacob and Embry had a brief fight for the other spot. To my amusement, Quil slipped in to the spot while they weren't looking. Sneaky McSneaker that he is.

"So, what'd you bring Auggie?" I opened up the basket at Seth's question. The large package of roast beef sandwichs had the boys practically salivating. I think I actually saw a bit of slobber on Brady's lip...

"My God Auggie, will you marry me?" I laughed easily at Seth's question and took a bite of my sandwich. I chewed thoughtfully as though I was considering my answer.

"How about... not on your life?" We laughed again as the boys continued inhaling their had tensed at my side at the question and relaxed when I answered. I could only hope he hasn't been getting any delusions of grandeur.

"So, I done good?" The group nodded in unison. Rachel gave me two thumbs up. "You guys are probably too full for dessert then." I said as I pulled out an apple pie. I had baked it when the guys were out of the house so they wouldn't bug me. Jacob's jaw dropped and Brady whimpered.

"Oh please?" He whispered, his bottom lip quivering. I smiled and pulled out a stack of paper plates and a package of forks. I handed the stack to Quil so he could help me pass out slices of pie.

I was more than satiated after we all consumed our pieces of pie. I put the pie dish back in the basket and had Leah take the garbage up to the trash can near the parking lot. I laid down on the blanket and stretched out. Rachel pulled her cell phone out and turned on some music. Most of the boys went back to play in the water, but Jacob laid down with me and Rachel. We relaxed there on the beach until the sun started setting and it became too cold to stay in just bathing suits.

We packed up the bags and piled it all into my truck (formerly Mr. Uley's). The boys hopped into the back while Rachel, Leah and I squeezed into the cab. The trip was bumpy and unpleasant, but it was better than having to walk. I pulled up into the driveway at Sam's house and the guys methodically leaped out onto the gravel. How they could wander around barefoot, I don't know. Some of those rocks could slice your feet open if you're not careful.

Emily was waiting on the porch to hear the whole story of our adventures on the beach. Leah immediately swirved away from the house towards the woods. On impulse, I aimed towards the woods too, away from the other girl's direction. It had been a long time since I last saw Balto, my wolf friend. When I made it to our regular meeting spot, I took a seat on my mossy rock. I was glad I put my jeans and shirt over my bathing suit before we left the beach, because it had gotten really cold outside.

I had to wait a bit before Balto arrived. It was always amazing to me how he could completely blend in with the surroundings even though he was the size of a horse. I smiled broadly at the big brown wolf and immediately wrapped my arms around his neck when he came up to me. The warm feel of his fur against my neck made me feel at ease. I don't know why I always feel led to come back to this place, back to Balto. He just feels so safe. There's peace in his presence.

"Why do I love you so much Balto?" I sighed and released him. Leaning back against a tree, I saw him sit back on his hind legs. His bulk mostly hid his back legs, but I did see something tied to his left leg.

"Balto, whatcha got on your leg there boy?" I asked rhetorically. He backed away slightly when I reached for his leg, so I assumed he had a cut. "Oh honey, are you hurt?" I stroked his fur and tried to calm him down. Though still skittish, he allowed me to see his leg. To my surprise, I found some rolled up jean shorts tied to his leg with a leather strap.

"What in the world?" I untied the strap and pulled the pants free. The bottoms were frayed and had a white paint stain on the left pant leg. There was a hole in the back right pocket. I knew that without seeing it because these were the very shorts Jacob was wearing earlier because I teased him about him wanting "easy access."

"But why would you have Jake's pants tied to your leg?" I mumbled to myself. I felt suddenly uneasy, crouched in the field with Jake's shorts in my hands and a big wolf in front of me. I looked at the wolf, at Balto, and frowned.

"This makes no sense, I don't understand." Balto pressed his nose to my stomach and whimpered. "I can't, I don't..." My words died in my throat and the familiar feeling of panic began to set in. I clutched the pants tight in my hand and ran. I darted through the forest and tried to make sense of all the madness in my head.

I emerged out of the woods near the house, but I didn't stop running. I vaulted over the railing and onto the porch. I darted through the house and didn't stop running until I reached my bedroom. I threw the door open and to my surprise, I found Colin asleep on my bed. The door shut behind me and Colin woke from the sound.

"What are you doing in my room?" I asked, breathless and irate. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, suddenly unsure of how to act.

"I was just waiting for you to get back from your walk. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. I frowned, it was really uncomfortable having him in my room. I was in a foul mood and I just didn't have the patience to be nice to him right now.

"Well, here I am." I waved my hands around and remembered that I still had Jake's shorts in my hand. In a moment, Colin was up and snatching the jean shorts out of my grasp.

"Why do you have Jake's shorts?" I offered no explanation. I shrugged and went to sit on my bed. "August, what's going on?" Him using my full name kind of scared me. He grasped my arm and wouldn't let me sit.

"Let go Colin." I tried to wrestle my arm out of his hand, but he refused to let me free. "Colin, you're hurting me." He looked down at his hand on my arm and realized he was holding on too hard. He promptly let go, only to reveal a rapidly forming bruise.

"Oh God Auggie, I'm so sorry. It's just, Jake makes me so angry sometimes." He said by way of explanation. I rubbed my sore arm and took a seat on my bed. Colin sat down too and took some deep breaths.

"So, why do you have Jake's shorts?" I grabbed the pants he had taken from me and rolled them in my hands.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. How could I explain this to someone who had never met Balto, someone who had never seen intelligence gleaming in that wolf's eyes. "I found them." I chickened out, he would never understand.

"I highly doubt that Jake just left his shorts laying around." I set the shorts on the bed, absent mindedly playing with the string on my wrist.

Wait, string? I looked down at my left wrist and there it was, the leather strap that had held the shorts to Balto's leg. I unwound the string and tucked it into my pocket. It would be my little secret with Balto. Even if it was physically impossible for a wolf to tie anything, let alone manage to hold the shorts at the same time. I shook my head and laid down on my bed. Colin rose and turned to face me.

"It's getting late and I'm sure my mom will want me back soon." I nodded and waved goodbye to him. He lingered a moment longer, as though he had more to say, before exiting. I snuggled up against my pillow and kicked off my shoes. I didn't bother changing, I was too exhausted from my day. As I drifted off to sleep, I had a dark brown wolf in my mind and a russet skinned boy with the same color eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I awoke to the smell of the woods, morning dew and fresh cut grass bathing my senses in delight. I snuggled deeper into my blanket and listened to Emily make breakfast. Chairs shifted on the floor and plates clinked against the table. There was a light knock on my door just before Seth entered. He leaped onto my bed and pressed his face into my hair.

"Wakey, wakey eggs 'n bakey." He whispered in my ear. I groaned; I never should have let him see that stupid movie. I've had just about all the Mr. Magorium references I could take. "Get up Auggie. Emily won't let us eat until you've had some." He affectionately nuzzled my neck before stealing my blanket and leaping out of bed.

"I hate you Seth." I mumbled, rolling over to face the evil boy.

"You love me. Denial is just a river in Egypt sweetheart." I snarled and rolled out of bed oh so slowly. My jeans were bunched at the knees and I smelled like the beach. I kicked off the jeans and stood there in my bathing suit and t-shirt. Seth looked at me skeptically, I don't think either of us believed I would be comfortable going down there just wearing this. I stole my blanket from Seth and wrapped it around me like a robe. It was sufficient enough for the time being. Food first, then shower.

"Lead the way Sacagawea." He made a face at me, I don't think he appreciated being referred to as a woman. Nevertheless, hunger won out and he tugged me behind him to the breakfast table.

Emily was scurrying about, filling plates with food and teasing the boys in her naturally motherly fashion. Sam sat at the head of the table, solemn as usual. I walked over to him and gave him a hug like I do every morning before hugging Emily next. I turned to look at the table and saw Embry and Quil. They crashed at the house often enough that it was no surprise to see them. The surprise was Jacob. He rarely ate meals with us and he never smiled as broadly as he was now. I'm always slightly grumpy in the morning and I _hate_ being the butt of jokes. A person smiling for no apparent reason says a joke I'm unaware of to me.

"What's so funny?" I asked, my tone surly. He was undaunted however and grabbed my blanket and tugged.

"You just look so adorable wrapped up in a Winnie the Pooh blanket." I flushed bright red. His voice was so soft, almost too intimate for the scene. There was a growl at the door, so I turned around to see Colin standing in the doorway with his teeth bared in a snarl. I didn't even know what to make of the situation, some of the behaviors of the boys was getting more and more animalistic.

For a moment I thought things were going to get more serious, especially when Jake froze. No, he didn't freeze. That implies a level of fear. Jacob was fearless, predatory by nature. Colin looked prepared to fight, but in that moment I knew the truth. Jacob was the bigger threat, the better beast. It took Colin a moment longer to recognize that, but when he did, he relaxed his posture and waited for Jake to do the same.

Jacob grabbed my left hand and pulled me to the seat beside him. I reluctantly sat down. The situation around here was getting weirder and weirder. A plate slid in front of me and life resumed. Light chatter was made between Quil and Embry with the occassional comment from Sam or Emily. But for the remainder of the meal, Colin stared between myself and Jacob, who hadn't released my hand yet. I ate my meal in silence, pondering the strange behavior that my friends had been exhibiting since I returned from Pennsylvania.

All of the guys were acting strangely. Sam, Colin, Jake, Brady, Embry, Quil, Jared and Seth. Even Leah was participating in the unusual acts. I chewed my bacon thoughtfully and tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Jake looked at me, a soft smile on his face. His brown eyes glittered with familiarity and I was taken to another place in my mind. The trees stretched around me like open arms, the dew was sprinkled across every surface and I could almost feel the mossy rock underneath me. In front of me I could see Balto, black nose and dark brown almost russet colored fur and those eyes, deep and dark and...

I rose from the table abruptly and raced to the stairs. My blanket tangled around my legs and I nearly tripped. I quickly grabbed what I came for from my room and darted back downstairs. Everyone at the table had risen to their feet, curious at my strange behavior. I slowed as I neared them and met Sam's intense stare.

"It's time for the truth." I said and held out Jake's shorts.

"Shorts?" Quil questioned, a hint of laughter in his voice. Sam stared at him hard and the joking attitude ended.

"The truth about what, August?" He responded.

"About the madness that's going on around here! A wolf in the woods that's as big as a bear, that understands what I say. The constant growling and snarling and wolf pack attitude. And best, the same comprehending wolf with Jake's shorts tied around its leg. No more lies and excuses about the water making all you guys freaking giants with the strength of ten men. What's going on?" My speech caused some strange reactions. Jake frowned, almost mournful. Sam looked more serious than normal, almost grave. Emily sat down hard while Quil and Embry looked like I'd just declared I was a llama and sprouted another head. Colin just stood there and fidgeted.

"Okay." Sam said. I nearly passed out from sheer relief.

"Okay?" I asked, just making sure he wasn't kidding, even if he never did.

"Okay." He took a deep breath and I waited. "The truth is, we're werewolves."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

(A/N) The quote "Wakey, wakey eggs 'n bakey," comes from the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. It's a cute movie. I love it, really.


	5. Chapter 5

What do you do when your world is flipped upside down?

Sam's little revelation at breakfast more than stunned me, it left me flabberghasted, which never happens. I sat for an hour in yesterday's clothing as Sam explained how all the Quileute legends, that I had thought were just folk tales, were true. Werewolves in La Push. Who would've guessed? He told me how when the Cold Ones showed up around my 16th birthday he had transformed. The reason I wasn't pursued when I left is because he couldn't leave La Push and his parents were no longer healthy enough to chase after a wild child like me. Hell, I was the reason they went on their little road trip. If a 16 year old girl could brave the world on her own, why couldn't two old fogeys?

Okay, that was mean, but give a girl a break, this news shook my entire perception on La Push and the world in general. What I can't figure out is why vampires would pick La Push in the first place. The rez is pretty much in the middle of no where. We're this tiny, inconsequential blip on the map. Personally, if I was a vampire out to such the blood of humans, I'd pick a city so big, multiple murders would go unnoticed. Because that's what vampires do apparently. Murder. No romanticised stories about how they just take a little blood and leave you living, no nice stories about them using vampiric powers to woo women into their beds. Nope, vampires find a life and snuff it out of existence.

For the first hour or so after hearing Sam's story, I just sat at the kitchen table and tried to absorb everything that had happened. Because more had happened than just an acknowledgement that there were werewolves and vampires on the rez. Apparently when they transformed they were wolves as big as horses, and their features tended to reflect their human form. So I wasn't going crazy when I realized that Balto looked like Jacob in some ways. They probably were the same person. I don't know this for a fact, but I know that when I ask Jacob about it, he'll tell me the truth.

When I finally recovered from my shock, I took that shower I had put off earlier. I have never enjoyed scrubbing the sand out of my hair as much as I did that morning. I finished my shower and toweled off. I brushed my teeth with my towel wrapped around my body before going back to my bedroom. I had my drawers open and was fishing for underwear when I realized I wasn't alone in the room. I turned my head slowly, something like what would happen in a horror flick. Of course, it's not like I'd be watching a horror flick. I'm too much of a chicken. I panic at a door slamming shut. So it's safe to say this moment caught me off guard.

"Oh my gawd Embry! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" I yelled as I saw who the intruder was. He was sat on my bed, frozen in place. I didn't understand why he wasn't responding until I realized that I was still only wearing the towel and nothing else. "Uh, wow. This just got really awkward."

"Hm." He said before rising from the bed. Now it was my turrn to freeze. He stepped up to me, towering over me with his great height. He lifted a finger and brushed it gently across my revealed collar bone, swiping water away softly. His finger came across my jaw and lifted my chin, which I had automatically lowered in embarrassment. He leaned forward slowly, giving me all the opportunity in the world to pull away if only I could remember how to do so.

He leaned closer still and I could feel his breath on my face. His breath smelled like mint, but I was focused on his face. His brown eyes were soft, like I could just melt into them. His lips were full and pouty and looked so kissable that I leaned into him as well. We were pressed chest to chest now and his arms snuck around me to pull me into his body. He pressed his lips to mine and everything paused. He caressed my lips so smoothly with his own that he stole my very breath away. My face flushed and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel one of his hands on my hip and the other on my lower back. I wanted to melt into his very being and never recover.

"God Auggie," He whispered my name against my lips and I whimpered. I never expected my first kiss to be with my best friend, but the moment was so perfect that I couldn't complain. He pressed back into me and we kissed longer, harder. The next thing I knew, I was pressed up against the wall. Our kiss was hot, passionate and I couldn't think.

"Hey August, you wanna head down to the be..." Rachel's words cut off abruptly as she opened my door and found me and Embry. Her eyes were wide, surprised. "You know what, I'll come back in a few minutes. You might want to put some clothes on in the meantime." She backed away and closed the door behind her. Her words had done their damage. Embry reeled backwards and slumped onto the bed.

"Shit." He whispered while rubbing his face. He lifted his eyes to mine and we stood there, awkward again. "This is not what I had in mind when I came to your bedroom you know." I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I know. This is not what I had in mind when I came out of the bathroom." We both chuckled softly before I started biting my bottom lip.

"I guess we're gonna have to talk about this." I nodded in agreement and took a deep breath. "I'll be downstairs waiting when you're ready to talk, okay?" Again, I nodded. He stood up and headed out. I almost stopped him, but what do you say after an encounter like that? Thanks? It just seemed too cheesy. I waited for him to close the door then I collapsed against the wall. I slid against the wall to the floor and put my head on my knees. Rachel came back into the room and closed the door behind her. She took a seat on my bed and stared at me for a moment.

"So I'm going to guess that was unexpected?" I let out a deep breath and stared at her with wide eyes.

"Yeah, just a little." Even when stunned out of my wits, I can still manage to use sarcasm, go figure. Rachel looked out the window for a moment before turning back to me with a sly look on her face.

"Was he good?" I blushed fiercely and nodded quickly. She laughed before grabbing for my hands. "Then get off your ass girl and stop flashing me your goodies!"

"Rachel!" I exclaimed before fixing my towel. She started rummaging through my drawers before plucking out some of the most scandalous undergarments I owned. I had bought the red lingerie on a whim when I was feeling a bit rebellious. Jackson had always said that I looked good in red, so I had bought them with him in mind. Of course, I wasn't actually planning on wearing them for hm, but I still bought them because of him. Weird logic, I am the queen of it. Rachel tossed the thong and bra set onto my bed before going through more drawers. She pulled out my favorite jean shorts and a black spaghetti strap tank top with dangerous curves and a traffic cone on the front.

"Dear God Rachel. Am I going for the skank look?" She turned to me with a cocked eyebrow.

"Don't be ridiculous August. With the panties you'll feel sexy and you'll move like you mean it. The shirt is flirty and will make Embry come back for more." She paused and gave me a smirk. "You do want more don't you?"

"Okay, maybe you're right." I conceded defeat and started getting dressed. Rachel just kept fishing through my drawers and ignored me as I dressed. She had only backed out of the room earlier for Embry's modesty's sake. When I was fully dressed I dried my hair with the towel. Rachel tried to foist the hair dryer on me, but I pushed it away.

"No way. I'm trying to not kill me hair thank you very much." That was another oddity of mine. I don't believe in hair dryers, curling irons or straightening irons except for special occasions. I have way too many friends with fried hair and I'd like to not join the masses.

"You're so weird sometimes girl." I shrugged and flipped my hair over my shoulder.

"Maybe, but you love me anyways." She affirmed my statement and shrugged. Best friends; often the relationships are utterly unexplainable. Rachel opened up my bedroom door and looked at me with hooded eyes.

"Now go get 'em chica. That boy won't know what hit him."

And out I walked, a sway to my steps.


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel didn't know what she was talking about when she said that Embry wouldn't know what hit him.

Apparently when I was upstairs with Rachel getting dressed, Embry had gone downstairs to wait for me. He had grown restless and wandered outside to get a little fresh air when a fist swung out of no where and busted his nose open. According to Emily, the fight between Embry and Colin had been brief but brutal. All of the wounds inflicted were superficial and they would recover, but they were both still openly hostile towards each other. I had resolved to closing my blinds more often. Colin spying on me while I was kissing Embry made me wander what else he might have been spying on.

Embry's face was a sad sight when I came downstairs. His right eye was just a blur of swollen black and blue. His perfect, kissable lips were busted in multiple places and had dried blood on them. His nose was an odd angle, but even as I was walking downstairs he was putting it right again. The crunch was disgusting, but it was nice seeing his nose at a normal angle again. Despite a few bruises and cuts on the rest of his body, his face was the worst of the damage. Colin on the other hand, looked like a hot mess.

Both eyes were nearly swollen shut, tufts of his hair had been torn out, his nose was crooked and his mouth was busted. Emily was currently wrapping up his ribs with a thick bandage because apparently Embry had cracked a few while tackling him to the ground. He had a few fingers at awkward angles and I nearly passed out when Sam set them right. I had to turn away because it was such a disgusting sight. I stood in front of Colin with my arms crossed over my chest. He stared at me accusingly as best as he could with his eyes swollen, and I had to admit that it was actually a little intimidating.

"What the hell Colin?" I asked, gritting my teeth to keep from adding to the mess that his face was. He sneered at me, but his lip ripped open again so he stopped. He wiped the blood away with his arm and went back to silently brooding. "Was that really necessary? I mean, really?" I let my breath out in a heavy sigh and shook my head. I turned away from him to see Embry again.

"Wait." He whispered from behind me. I turned back to him and raised my eyebrows. He glanced around before standing up. "Can we talk outside?" He asked politely. Considering he had asked nicely, I nodded my head and led the way out onto the porch. I took a seat on the edge of the bannister, leaving the porch swing to him. He sat down slowly and cringed when he was finally leaning against the back of it. I imagined he must be in a lot of pain, so I had some mercy on him by softening my expression.

"So?" I asked. I tried to cut most of the acid out of my tone and I think I succeeded for the most part, because he didn't seem all that hurt by my prodding. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I'm sorry that I upset you by attacking Embry, but I'm not sorry that I hurt him." I rolled my eyes. Typical guy answer.

"You do realize that if you ever hurt him again, I'll never forgive you?" He nodded his head and looked at me with such vulnerable eyes, I almost cringed.

"I was climbing up the tree to steal you away. I heard Rachel was gonna invite you out to the beach with some of the others, including Embry, but I wanted to hang with you without them for once. When I saw you with Embry, I just... I don't know. I just got so angry." He lowered his eyes and started at the porch like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

"You're young, I suppose it happens. But that's no excuse to attack him." He nodded quickly flicked his gaze back to me. I almost flinched under his scrutiny.

"I just feel so over looked sometimes. It's because I'm the youngest. It always separates me from the others. But you don't over look me. You listen to me when I speak and treat what I have to say like something of value, even if it's complete nonsense." He smiled sweetly and I bit my bottom lip. "You make me feel important August. Nobody's ever made me feel like you do." I could hear a confession of emotion coming like a train wreck. You know it's gonna be bad, but you just can't look away.

"August, I like you." And there he goes. "A lot. You mean so much to me. And I don't mean I like you in the sense that you're like a sister. I like you like boys like girls. I just wanted a chance with you, but you're always hanging around Embry and Jake and I've never had the chance to tell you. But if everything's gone to hell, what should I wait for now?"

He stood up from the bench and stepped up to me. I tried to move backwards away from him, but realized too late that I was on the edge of the bannister. My arms wind milled backwards and Colin reached out to grab me, but he moved too slow because of his wounds. I fell backwards over the bannister and squeezed my eyes shut in anticipation of the landing. Of course, when I never landed, I opened one eye slowly to see if I was already dead. Instead of seeing pearly gates, I saw laughing brown eyes.

"I know it's a saying, but I've never had a girl literally fall for me before." Quil quipped with a big grin on his face. I scowled at him before wiggling out of his arms. He set me down easily and patted me gently on the head. "Gotta be more careful next time Auggie, I might not always be there to catch you."

"Thanks Quil." I ran a hand through my hair and tried to finger brush some of the knots out. I glanced back up to the porch and saw Colin leaning up against the bannister. He had a blank expression on his face, so I couldn't read him very well.

"So what happened while I was gone?" Quil asked as he inspected Colin's impressive injuries.

"None of your business." He answered, surly. He stood up abruptly and went back into the house, slamming the door shut behind him. I returned to gnawing on my lower lip while Quil turned to me with a worried expression on his face.

"Go inside, I'm sure somebody will fill you in." I gestured towards the front door and rubbed my face with the other hand. Quil looked interested for a moment before shaking his head.

"Nah, I've got plans to babysit Claire. Just tell everybody I'm at the Young's house and Brady's got my patrol tonight." I nodded my head and gave him a hug goodbye. He held me longer than normal and rubbed my back. "Don't stress Auggie, whatever has happened will be resolved soon enough."

"Thanks Quil." He gave me a smile before heading back down the road. I climbed up onto the porch and collapsed on the porch swing. I knew there were more things to be done inside, but I was more interested in remaining on the porch swing for the rest of the day and watching the sunset. I sure as hell could use a break from all the drama.


	7. Chapter 7

"Can't anybody find me somebody to love?"

Queen. Freddy Mercury. Spandex. Dear God my dreams are getting _really_ twisted.

I cracked open an eye slowly and saw Jacob leaning up against the banister I had toppled over earlier. His eyes were closed and his head was leaning against the wood beam. He was whispering the lyrics to the song underneath his breath and I was sure he had no intention of me hearing. Nevertheless, I listened to his gravelly voice with warm pleasure. He looked so soft, almost childlike when he was relaxed. This was the Jacob Black I could remember from my childhood; the little boy who made mud pies with Bella Swan and hung out with Quil and Embry for an unhealthy amount of time. Moments like this I could appreciate his rugged beauty.

Beautiful is not generally a term used to define a man, but Jacob was just one of those guys who walked the line between perfectly handsome and beautiful. His black hair, once shorn to his head, had grown out some and hung in his face, only moving with the breeze. His russet brown skin gleamed in the setting sun's orange glow, making him look like a Greek god come to life. His eyes, though shut, I knew to be a deep, chocolate brown lined with thick, dark lashes that fluttered against his cheeks like delicate butterfly wings. His lips were full, pouty, utterly kissable. Lips are my weakness admitedly. His jaw was strong just like the rest of him, which was revealed to my hungry gaze. His chest was broad and layered with thick muscles. His shoulders were powerful and gave way to equally impressive arms. His chest led down to a slim waist with a deep v cut into his hips. His legs were cased in jeans, a rarity for him to be dressed in this much, but I knew that those legs were just as intense as the rest of him. His feet were bare and I took a moment to appreciate the span of his feet pressed onto the wood porch as though he was just an extension of the ground.

Jacob Black was a beautiful man. And he definitely knew I was awake.

"You can reattach your jaw now." His words were mocking, but his tone lacked that gentle tease he always used with me. My eyes snapped up to his and he looked more serious and bitter than I had ever seen him before. I sat up straighter on the bench and felt my body ache; that wasn't the greatest position to fall asleep in. I ran a hand through my wavy black hair to push it out of my face.

"You okay Jake?" I asked cautiously. Was he upset over the fight between Embry and Colin earlier? Had it created a disruption in the pack?

"I'm fine, no need to worry August." He used my full name, something must be seriously wrong. I rose from the bench and let the blanket that someone had kindly placed over me drop back onto the swinging seat. I straightened my tank top and slowly approached Jacob.

"Look, if this is about earlier..." He cut me off with a surprisingly harsh look. So this is what angry Jake looked like. I lifted a hand and pressed it to his right arm. He reflexively tightened the muscle before pulling away. "Jake?"

"You shouldn't be touching me so casually now that you're with Embry." I flushed a dark red and reeled backwards. My eyes were wide and I knew I looked something similar to a deer in headlights.

"With Embry?" I mouthed the words, but I'm not sure any sound came out. I blinked rapidly before flushing deeper. He must have found out about the kiss leading to the subsequent fight. I bit my bottom lip and tried to figure out how everything related to Jacob.

"Yes, with Embry. Unless you're making out with more guys than I'm aware of?" This time his tone was cutting, intentionally cruel. My eyes narrowed and I recovered. Pity, sympathy and sadness were emotions that threw me out of balance, but anger I know how to handle. Anger was familiar and easy to embrace; if he wanted a verbal scrap, I was ready and rearing.

"I don't think being an ass is a good way to get me to reveal my dirty little secrets Jacob Black." I snarled, my lips curving into a scowl. He snapped to attention beside me and stared down at me in all of his giant stature.

"Was it that good? Was it worth the fight it caused?" There had to be more going on because this was a side of Jake that I don't think comes out very often.

"Yeah, it was that _good." _My words cut him. I was expecting a rebuke or a witty comeback. I was not expecting him to press his lips to mine harshly and pull me into his body. That was a complete surprise. I flailed my arms before grabbing his face to pry him off of me. I stumbled backwards when he released me and stared at him with stunned eyes.

"Dammit Jake, what kind of girl do you take me for?" I swallowed my surprise and touched my lips with my fingers. Did that really just happen? Jake was standing stiffly, his eyes locked onto mine in a dare.

"Did he kiss you like that August? Catch you by surprise and pin you to the wall so that he could practically molest you without protest?" I flushed again, this time from anger and balled my hands into fists.

"It's none of your business, so why don't you take your foul attitude and shove it up your ass." I shoved my way past him, but was forced to pause when he grabbed my wrist. He turned me to face him and he looked vulnerable, soft and open.

"Don't I mean anything to you?" He whispered; that gravelly voice he had sung with earlier was back. "Didn't I let you know that I was interested?" I spluttered for words, I felt like I missed an important memo.

"Huh?" Was all I could pull together. Somehow my brain had stopped working and left all the work up to my mouth. He looked sad; deep lines furrowed on his brow and his lips curved down into a frown.

"I don't hold hands with just anybody. I don't tease and torment just any girl." He paused and took in a harsh breath. "I don't comfort anybody in wolf form, just you." He whispered the last words and my throat was thick with unexpressed emotion. He released my wrist and looked at me with an expression so tortured, that I knew I had messed up real bad this time.

"Jake, I'm stupid, I don't notice things like," I stopped, choked up with tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes. I so didn't want to cry, not in front of anybody, but let alone Jake. Why it was so important for me to not cry in front of him, I don't know, but it meant something to me. "I don't notice sweet things like that. They slip under my radar and I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I'm so stupid and I don't deserve someone like you who takes such time to woo a girl." I finally gasped the words out and I was able to fight back my tears. They were there, lingering behind my eyes, but it wasn't an immediate pressing need. I could cry later when there was nobody around.

"August," He said my name and it sounded beautiful spilling from his lips. He grabbed my hand and held it in his impressive grasp and gave a small smile. "All this time I've been making moves on you and you didn't even notice. I feel like a failure to the male gender." I chuckled softly before hugging him.

"You gotta give me a break Jacob, I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes." He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. I think there was a very large part of him that was struggling to come to terms with my unawareness.

"What about Embry?" He asked, voice low. At this point we had probably already woken up half the household, but it was nice that he was giving the impression of privacy. I took my time answering, I didn't want to say something stupid again.

"I really like him and I never thought I would have a chance with him. I don't want to break your heart Jake, that's the last thing I want. But when I look at Embry, so much of me is already in deep. I can't just turn around and say no. I like him, a lot." He nodded and pulled away from me.

"I respect that. You deserve the chance to fall in love like a normal person." My eyes went wide at his use of the world 'love', but I realised that he was just being considerate.

"Jake, inside you are all normal people. Even if you do turn furry sometimes." I smiled at him and stood up on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. "Good night Jake, I'll see you around." I turned towards the house and was halfway through the door when he spoke again.

"Good night Auggie. Have sweet dreams." I turned back, but he was already gone.


	8. Chapter 8

I hate it when things get awkward.

Embry popped in and out of the house several times during the week after my conversation with Jacob, but he didn't stick around for very long. Despite the growing relationship between us, I think he was wary of another confrontation with Colin or possibly Jacob. I treasured the time he spent with me and tried to remember all the witty things that happened during my day so I could tell him the next time he showed up. I expected Colin to spend less time around the house since his fight with Embry and our subsequent falling out, but it seemed as though the fight had merely encouraged him to step up his pursuit. I was doodling on one of my many sketch pads when Colin showed up around noon.

"Whatcha doing Auggie?" He asked. He was standing in the yard, leaning against the banister from outside the porch. He was tall enough that he could easily prop his arms up on the ledge to watch me. I lifted my eyes from the pad and looked at him, then back at my pencil and paper.

"I thought it was pretty obvious." I said with a raised eyebrow. He smirked at me before pushing down on the banister to lift his body up. He stayed like that, his body weight hanging from the edge in a show of masculine power. I sighed before speaking again. "If you break the banister, Sam will tan your hide." He laughed at me like I was a simpleton until the wood gave way under his weight.

The beam creaked from the pressure until it snapped where his hands were. Colin toppled over into the grass and large splinters of wood followed him. He sat there on his rear end, seemingly confused at what had just happened. He rose to his feet and rubbed his head with a large palm.

"At least you warned me." He said before picking up the chunks of wood. I knew that my more fragile hands would be cut under the sharp wood, so I left him to clean up his mess. "So what are you drawing anyways?" He asked conversationally as he casually picked up the wood and set **it** into a pile.

I shrugged. "I'm just sketching a whole bunch of unidentified objects." I gnawed on my bottom lip and turned my gaze back to my drawing. It was starting to take on the shape of a very familiar wolf, so I turned the page and decided to start fresh.

"Do you ever draw people?" I nodded in acknowledgement of his question before furrowing my brows together.

"Why do you ask?" He gave me a childish smile and I felt myself reciprocate.

"Do you always answer questions with questions?" I smirked**.**_**B**__ring it little boy._

"Do you normally have a problem with a person's conversational habits?" He stuttered in response.

"When did you learn these conversational habits?" He lifted his chin, proud that he had formulated a response.

"How often do you pester a person about their personal history? Do you have a hidden pet peeve about other people? Do you secretly ponder ways to get them to reveal their lives to you?" I knew I had won when he slumped over. His eyes were wide**;** did he doubt my mental prowess?

"Dang Auggie, I give! I didn't know you could do that." He admitted. Talk about conceding defeat.

"After a while, you'll learn to not start a game you cannot win. I am master of words, but one day young Padwan, ways of mine learn you shall." I joked, mimicking Yoda. He laughed at me and came up onto the porch. He slumped into the hanging porch swing beside me and glanced over at my drawing.

"Closet Star Wars fan?" He asked, teasing me gently. I poked him softly since I didn't want to break my finger, and chuckled.

"You wish **K**iddo, I just watch too much sci-fi." And boy was I living in a sci-fi world!

"Is that me?" He asked, his voice low. I looked at my drawing; the random doodle I had started out with had turned into a rough depiction of a pair of hands, splintered with wood. The hands were strong and so were the arms. There was a vague outline of an equally muscular chest, but it wasn't complete yet.

"Guess so." I mumbled before turning the page again. No more random doodles for me, oh no. Beside me, Colin stiffened and looked at me curiously.

"Auggie?" His voice was way too intimate for the moment. I rose to my feet to avoid the awkward conversation he was about to start. I headed out towards the woods wrapping around the house, but Colin caught up to me as soon as he realized where I was heading. "Now's not a good time to go wandering Auggie." He said his voice uncharacteristically serious. I turned to him with a raised brow.

"Something I need to know about wolf boy?" He scowled at me before dragging me back towards the house.

"Why do you think I'm here, but none of the others are?" I had noticed that Sam, Embry and Jake hadn't been around all day, but I had put it off thinking that they had lives to get back to. Apparently they were up to wolfy business and had snuck off quite efficiently.

"Don't tell me you got babysitting duty?" I purposely teased him. Despite the probable danger of going into the woods, I was in a sketching mood. Nothing would please me more at the moment than to draw Balto peering through the woods like a hungry beast in wait.

"Auggie, you're hardly a displeasure to watch." Dirty mind, for shame! "And besides, you're not going to torment me into letting you wander off. I'm not stupid ya know." I shrugged with a little laugh. "I'm not on babysitting duty anyways. Jake's around here somewhere to do that. I just stopped in to make sure that you're not getting up to trouble." I smiled appreciatively at him before stepping back up onto the porch.

"A girl's gotta try. See ya later Colin!" I went back in the house and headed up towards my room as the boy turned and headed back to the woods. The smell of the cinnamon broom Emily had propped up in the corner next to the stairs soothed my senses as I jogged up the stairs. I was out of breath by the time I reached my room because of the weight of my chest, but I had always loved sprinting up the stairs. I pushed open my door that I had decorated with the shiny sides of old cds and entered my room.

And found Jacob asleep on my bed, cuddling my pillow.

I stood in the doorway, gazing at the unexpected sight with wonder. He looked soft, innocent, vulnerable, and so unbelievably perfect in my room. He was sprawled across my bed, but he held my pillow in his arms as though it was something precious and breakable. I could only imagine that his senses were being bathed in the smell of my vanilla lotion and wild berry shampoo. I leaned against the doorway and just watched him sleep. He looked so calm and peaceful that I didn't want to break his slumber. Just watching him was making me tired.

I was about to head back downstairs so I wouldn't interrupt his slumber when I noticed a letter in his hand. Wordswere scribbled across the front, but I couldn't read them because they were covered by his hand. I walked over to the bed and slipped in beside Jacob, trying not to jostle him too much. I plucked the letter from his hands and saw my name. Not just my nickname though, my full name. _Justice Augustina Hewitt-Uley. _Probably the ugliest name known to mankind, but it was all mine. I slowly opened the letter and glanced at the bottom. It was from my father. I wiggled in closer to Jacob to get comfortable, and then I started reading.

_August-_

_I'm sure by this point you've learned to hate me. Here I am, the man who wanders through life unintentionally disrupting the future of those I interact with. I've screwed up many times in my life, and I think one of my biggest mistakes was not being around to watch you grow up. I missed out on being the father you deserved to have and left the over- seeing of your growth to your grandparents. I am a fool August, but you and your mother are two of the best things that ever happened to me._

_I heard you went looking for me. You see, Ruth and Daniel Uley stopped by central Florida to see me and boy did they give me a talking to. I understand why you left, but that wasn't the wisest decision. You're just a child and you shouldn't have to deal with a wreck of a father like me. So stay in La Push, stay with the Uleys. But please August, don't come looking for me again. I ruined your life once and I never want to do so again._

_Sincerely,_

_Dad_

I sat there in silence after reading his letter. Peter Hewitt, the man who didn't raise me, my biological father, class A screw up, telling me to stay the hell out of his life.

"What an asshole." I muttered. Sometime during my reading I had wiggled my way between the pillow and Jacob, so he was now wrapped around me. My head rested on his shoulder, but I was so focused on the words my father had written that I couldn't even pay attention to how warm and firm his chest was. Well, maybe a little attention, but he wasn't my focus! I read the letter again before letting it slip from my fingers.

"How could you walk away from one of the best things that ever happened to you? I think you lied to me." Jacob shifted against my back and I shut up. The last thing I wanted was for someone else to pick up the slow burning misery that had created a pit in my heart.

"August?" Jake whispered, groggy from sleep. I snuggled in closer to him before answering.

"Yeah Jake, go back to sleep." He pressed his face into my hair before relaxing again. I laid there in silence until he drifted away again. After a while I slipped into a sleep state too, but the harsh reality presented in my father's letter left a bitter feeling in my heart.


	9. Chapter 9

Somebody was arguing.

I could tell this, even when groggy from sleep because the voices were loud enough to carry up the stairs into my room. I rubbed my face into my pillow and covered my head with my blanket. I was _so _not in a mood for a violent discourse. On the other hand, if I'm alert enough to use words like discourse, maybe I should get up and figure out what is going on. I flipped my quilt away and swung my legs off the edge of my bed before sitting up. I rubbed my face with my hands and wiped away the haze that had settled over my vision over night. I wrinkled my nose and looked behind me towards the bed. No Jacob, maybe he's downstairs? Someone knocked on my door, so I called for them to enter. Seth stood in the doorway, a strange expression on his face.

"Sam is requesting your presence downstairs." He's formal, something must be wrong. I nodded my head and rose from the bed. My outfit from yesterday was crinkled so I headed towards my closet. Jeans, a white peasant top, tan bra and a quick brush through my hair and I was ready to roll. I shuffled my way downstairs to the kitchen; that's usually where pack meetings occur.

"She deserves to make an unbiased opinion, not have pack business shoved down her throat." Jacob said angrily. I could see my cousin frowning, his second most common expression. I bit my lip and tried to stay silent; I was curious to find out what they were fighting over.

"You can come down now August." Snap, they caught me. I came the rest of the way down the stairs and smiled at my cousin.

"Caught me red handed." I joked, shrugging pleasantly. Embry came around the corner from the living room and greeted me with a hug. I relaxed into his embrace and breathed him in. Jacob was a lovely man and all, but there was something about Embry that brought an instant happiness and calm to my heart.

"Sleep well?" He whispered into my ear. I nodded against his chest and squeezed him tighter. He slowly pulled away, but didn't release me completely. He left his right arm wrapped around my shoulders. He was wearing a shirt today and I noted that all the guys in the house were as well. We turned to face the rest of the people in the kitchen and I noted that the only pack members around were Sam, Jacob and Colin in the corner. All three of them were frowning slightly and I fought the urge to apologize. My bottom lip slipped in between my teeth and I started worrying it; what had I screwed up today?

"What's up doc?" I teased Sam. Instead of smiling at my silly humor as usual, he remained frowning and my feelings of happiness slipped away into the abyss.

"There's another aspect of the legends that we didn't tell you August. It is your right as a family member of the pack to know the full truth." Jacob interjected at this point in Sam's oncoming speech.

"Sam, no." The atmosphere in the room thickened. Nobody defies the alpha, it's unheard of. But there was Jacob, in all of his "should-be-pack-leader-but-don't-wanna" glory, pushing the limits of the pack simply because there was way too much drama surrounding my presence. Had I known I would've created all of this madness, I don't think I would've returned to La Push. No matter how wonderful the boys were and how much this place was my home, I didn't want to be the source of dissension. The tension needed to be cut. I plucked a knife off the counter and started running it through the air. I got some funny looks for a moment before setting it back down.

"I was just wondering if the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife." I said casually. Colin grinned and Embry chuckled into my hair. Thankfully, some of the tension disappeared. I could see Jacob and Sam relax in their respective spots. Mission accomplished.

"She deserves to know Jake." Sam said; he was a lot calmer this time, but I wasn't about to let the situation grow in tension again.

"Look guys, if this is going to mess up things in the pack again, then I don't want to know." The guys turned to look at me with confusion apparent on their faces. "I know it sounds silly, but look at things from my stand point. This is obviously a point of contention and the last thing I want to do is mess things up. I'm pretty good at being a screw up, so let's just not go there."

"Doesn't it bother you to not know what we're talking about?" Jacob asked. I shrugged.

"Of course the curious part of me wants to know, but I don't _need _to know. I think it's enough for now that I know about the pack, anything else is sort of superfluous, don't ya think?" I smiled warmly and made my way over to my cousin. "I love you guys and I'd hate to be the cause of another fight." I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "You guys mean everything to me. I love you Sam, don't push this." He stood frozen for a moment before melting into my embrace.

"I love you too August." He responded. We held each other a moment longer before we pulled apart. He lifted a hand and pushed a black lock of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. Though he was only three years my senior, there was such age in Sam's eyes that made him appear so much older than he was. He had seen and experienced too much. "I'm just trying to watch out for you."

"I know, but I'm a big girl." He grinned at me and I responded equally to his uncharacteristic expression.

"Okay, jealous over here." Colin joked from his position on the counter. I smirked at him playfully before teasing him.

"You want it, come and get it." Had I known that both he and Jacob would pursue me, I would not have said that. My eyes went wide as they slowly approached. I took a step back before darting out of the kitchen. I vaulted over the couch and flung the mesh door open so I could run through the doorway. I was halfway across the yard when I was tackled from the ground. Whoever had me pinned was considerate enough to flip us over so that he landed on the ground and not me.

"Gotcha." Embry rumbled, his chest thrumming with the noise. I gasped at his pressure at my back before he flipped me over so that we were facing each other. I was lost for words at his closeness.

"Congratulations." I whispered, too stunned to be completely sarcastic.

"What do I win?" Things had become suddenly intimate and I wasn't sure whether I was panicking or just anxious for him to lean in and kiss me. Wait, he asked me a question. I fumbled for a response but I coudldn't reply. He was leaning in closer and words were just not coming to me. "Nevermind, I know what I want."

He kissed me with hunger and passion and my toes were _curling. _To my shame, I moaned into the kiss and wormed my hands through his hair. If time stopped in this moment I would die a very happy woman. But moments like this weren't meant to last and the next thing I knew, Embry was flying across the yard and I was left gasping at the loss of his warmth. Sam was crouched beside me, a snarl tearing through his lips. I could only assume it was Jacob trying to rip out Embry's throat because Colin was standing next to the porch, wide eyed and lost.

"What the hell?" I whispered as I struggled into a sitting position. Sam pressed me back behind him and I fumbled in the grass.

"Stay behind me August." He urged, extremely cautious of the scrapping boys. I was surprised that they hadn't phased yet, but they traded blows without regard for eachother. I suppose being semi-invincible gave them a reckless regard for pain and damage.

"Jacob! Embry! _Stop." _Sam spoke the word with such authority that Colin cringed from where he was standing. I was cowed by the power in my cousin's voice. Had I known he could speak with such strength, I would never have feared for the boys. Jacob and Embry stopped mid-motion. Their bodies were so tuned to the alpha that it was as if they couldn't possibly do anything that the alpha disapproved of.

"What the hell Jake? What about that conversation in the kitchen?" Embry was scowling; bottom lip busted and cheek sliced. "She deserves to make an unbiased opinion." He was mocking Jacob perfectly. "As long as she chooses you, huh?" He wiped his mouth with a bruised knuckle and shoved his way past his pack mate. I pulled away from Sam to catch up with Embry so I could make sure he wasn't seriously injured.

"August." I stopped jogging to turn back to Jacob. His eyes were furious and his full lips were pursed.

"Jake?" I asked in return. I wasn't sure whether to be curious or upset or sad or what. My brain was just overwhelmed with all the drama that had been occurring in my life recently. "I..." He stopped speaking and seemed to give up. His shoulders dropped and he started heading towards the woods. I sighed heavily before chasing after him. He didn't slow, he just kept at his steady pace.

"Dammit Balto, slow down. I'm not a track star, ya know." Jacob didn't stop walking until he was buried completely in the woods. He just barely looked over his shoulder at me as I approached. I picked up my pace and was at his side in a moment. I grabbed his right hand with my left and just held it. I lifted his hand and pressed it to my face; breathing him in deeply.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" His voice was husky and harsh. It was like he had used up all of his nice words last night and had nothing left to give. "One day you're mine, the next day you're kissing Embry. What the hell do you want from me?"

"I'm sorry Jake. I told you I'm stupid and you didn't believe me." I whispered into his palm. I pressed a kiss to his calloused hand before he curled me into his arms. I slid into his embrace and we fit together like puzzle pieces. In every way, Jacob was perfect for me. He was warm and kind and the perfect gentleman. His personality was laid back enough that he could shrug off my attitude, but not so much that I walked over him. He presented me a wonderful, perfect future, but my heart kept actively choosing Embry.

"I love you August. I fucking love you and I hate it." He pressed his lips to mine and the kiss was brutal and harsh and bitter. I knew my lips would be bruised when he released me, but this kiss was all fire and I couldn't get enough of him. I wrapped my arms around him and let his anger burn me up. I wanted to disappear into his embrace and forget my obligations to the world. But reality has a way of slipping in, even when you defy it. The reality was that I was really interested in Embry, and kissing Jacob like this would break his heart. So I needed to do the right thing and tell him no.

"Life is so unfair." I mumbled as I stepped away from Jacob. He was panting and wild eyed. I smiled at him as I fixed my hair. Though I had just been macking on Jacob, there was no need to look like I had just been getting frisky in the woods.

"So, what do this mean?" He asked, dark eyes curious and guarded. I took a deep breath, held it for a moment and then let it out slowly. It was time for me to start making some serious decisions. If I was making out with a guy who wasn't even my boyfriend, then I needed to crack down on my suddenly loose morals.

"This doesn't mean what you want it to mean Jake." There, I said it. He looked distraught, that was the only word for it. "I'm sorry, but no matter how many kisses we share, no matter how wonderful it sounds for you to tell me that you love me..." I choked up, damn emotions, "I can't return the sentiment because I gave my heart to Embry years before I even knew what it meant to be in love."


	10. Chapter 10

After my conversation with Jacob in the woods, I went back to the house to make sure Embry was okay. I had started the whole mess and it was my job to clean it all up. The russet skinned boy was cautious around me, and I knew without him saying anything that I smelled like Jacob and my lips were plump from his kisses. I wanted to let him know that everything was okay with us, so when I entered the room, I threw my arms around him and kissed him with all the emotion that had built up in my heart. He gladly accepted my embrace and everything was good again. Well, he was a little scratched up, we had some talking to do and some discussions about where we stand, but overall, everything was alright.

The rest of the day was surprisingly not awkward. Jacob stayed away in an attempt to resign himself to his fate. I thought the whole situation was a bit melodramatic, but I figured that having his heart broken twice was not something easy to recover from. The guys had told me about his unrequited and unusual relationship with Bella Swan, combined with the knowledge that he had run off for a while to escape this town and all the memory that was trapped here, I could understand. Having never given my heart to anyone but Embry, I had never had to deal with the pain of having a broken heart like he had, but I was not without sympathy. According to everyone else in the group, heartache wasn't something to sneeze about. My relationships were just starting to smooth themselves out, I wasn't about to borrow trouble. Thankfully, Colin started acting like my little brother again and the pack was able to hang out without stress.

I was up in my room after dinner with Sam and Emily when I got a phone call from Rachel. Apparently she had purchased some vodka and sprite and wanted somebody to share it with. When I asked why she didn't share it with Paul, she responded with "Paul has a dick. Now get over here." Sounds like a girl**'**s night out, so I put my hair up into a ponytail and headed off to our little meeting spot on the beach. By the time I got there she had a fire going and was already slightly buzzed from some beer she had earlier.

"Rach baby, you need to stop drinking before I'm around." I greeted her as I plopped down on the blanket beside her. My best friend gave me a scathing look before passing me a glass of vodka and sprite. I took a sip out of the bendy straw and choked. "Damn! Gimme a warning next time you give me a majority of vodka chica." She laughed at me and I took a big swig to make up for it. I knew that if she was starting us off with something hard, then she had a story to tell.

"I wanna get drunk tonight Auggie, so don't push it." She sounded off, as though there was something heavy weighing on her mind. I would wait until she had more alcohol in her system before I pushed her for information. I found out by accident that Rachel is more susceptible to my probing for information when she was slightly drunk.

At first I started with easy questions like, "How was your day?" and "What side of the bed did you wake up on?" Often enough she would just laugh at me, but there was a hard quality to her laughter, like she was borderline hysterical from what was weighing her down. I decided it was time to break out the big guns, so somewhere between her second and third glass of mostly vodka, I started asking the tough questions.

"So why the random drinking night doll? Paul being an ass?" I was just teasing, so I didn't expect her to start crying. She wasn't being neat either. She was sobbing; big heaving gasps that made huge streams of salty water pour from her eyes. I pulled her into my arms and let her cry away. If she was this distraught, I was going to have to tan her boyfriend's furry hide. "It's okay Rach, you can tell me anything."

"Paul isn't being an ass at all. He's being freaking perfect." She confessed. She was furiously wiping at her eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that were still running down her face.

"If he's being so wonderful, then why are you upset?" I asked. She turned puffy eyes my way and what she said rocked my world off its axis.

"I had an affair." My green eyes went wide and my jaw dropped. Rachel took a large swallow of her drink before starting to cry again.

"When did this happen sweetie?" I was wracking my mind, trying to figure out when all of this madness had occurred. She started speaking, but it was so riddled with hiccups that I had to tell her to take a few breaths before what she said started to make sense.

"After Embry and Colin got into that fight, I decided I needed to get away for the weekend since the beach trip was obviously cancelled. I went up to Port Angeles, just to hit up a bar or something." She paused, her face guilty, "I ended up having a one night stand with some guy at this one bar with awesome rock music and we didn't use protection." With her story completed, Rachel slumped against me and cried until her eyes were completely dried out.

I was lost for words. I had no idea what I was supposed to say to that. So I held her in my arms and let Rachel cry her heart out. She had walked herself into this situation, but she was my best friend and it was my job to hold her hand through the hard times. If something came of her one night stand with that nameless guy, it could throw off her burgeoning relationship with Paul. It would always come back to me to help her pick up the pieces of her broken heart until Paul could do it for me. I scooped up the liquor that we didn't drink and dumped it into a garbage bin on our way home from the beach. I walked Rachel back to the Black's house and helped her onto the couch. I tucked her in and left a bottle of tylenol next to her on the coffee table before I left for home myself.

When I got back to the house, it was really late. Sam and Emily had gone to bed and only the porch light was left on for me. Despite the large amounts of alcohol consumed, Rachel's news had sobered me up quickly, and whatever buzz I had going earlier was completely gone. I trudged up the stairs to my room and tried to avoid stubbing my toe on the corner of the hall way like I always do. The only sound left in the house was the shuffling of my feet on the wood floor and my breathing. My room was dark and quiet, and without another person for the first time in a long time. I turned my night light on and slumped on my bed. I glanced down at my phone that I had left in my room while at the beach and realized that someone had texted me. Considering I don't text, this was attention catching. I opened up my phone and read it.

**Gusty, you better have a damn good reason for not calling me.**

I didn't have to look to know who sent it. Emma was the only person who ever referred to me as Gusty. Not even Jackson, the one who loved to give monikers to every person he met, didn't like the nickname. But**,** Emma was one stubborn Pennsylvanian, and she consistently called me Gusty, even when I asked to be called August. I closed the text and punched in her number so I could leave her a voicemail. They were several hours ahead of us and I didn't want to wake her up. When the call went through, I almost burst into tears from missing her so badly.

"_Greetings friend, you've reached the voicemail of Emma Du Bois. I'm either unavailable or ignoring you. Leave a message and if you're lucky, I'll get back to you. Until then, peace."_

I laughed even as the machine asked me if I wanted to page her as an option before instructing me to wait until the beep to leave my message. When the beep sounded, I started speaking.

"Hey smart ass! It's August. You texted me, so I'm calling you. Sorry I didn't do so sooner. There's a time difference here, so please try to avoid calling me at unholy hours of the morning. I love you ya bump on the log, call me back. Oh! And say hi to Jackson for me, would ya?" I hung up the phone and set it on my bedside table. There was nothing I wanted more at the moment than Emma handing me a glass of chocolate milk while Jackson rubbed my neck. They had a talent forcheering me up that couldn't be taken away, no matter how many miles across the U.S. we happened to be.

Emma was my best friend. And holding you when you cry is just something that best friends do.


	11. Chapter 11

"August's cellphone, Seth speaking." What? "No, she's not available right now. Can I take a message?" Why the hell was Seth answering my phone? I cracked open an eye and glanced at my alarm clock. Ten o'clock, oh, that's why. "What do you mean you won't take a message? I'm not allowed to know?" He was starting to sound outraged.

"Seth, gimme my phone." I croaked. He glanced at me before he continued to speak into the phone.

"No, I'm not her boyfriend or her keeper or whatever the heck you want to call me!" He looked severely irritated so I slipped off the bed to stand up. I was feeling wobbly, so I leaned up against Seth for support. He automatically wrapped an arm around me to help me stay standing. I stood up as high as I could reach and started shouting into the phone.

"No you cannot have my body!" I screamed. If I was right about who was on the line, then the answer would be normal. If not, well, I just got to know somebody really well.

_"Come here you sexy beast!"_ Hearing that in response, I grinned broadly. Emma Du Bois, my best friend from Pennsylvania.

"What the hell?" Seth asked, perplexed. I reached up and plucked the phone from his semi-limp hand.

"Thanks." I said as I backed away from him. He let me glide out of his grasp until I collapsed back onto my bed. I snuggled up underneath my blanket and waited for Seth to leave. He shut the door behind him and left me to my conversation with Emma.

_"Byotch, why haven't you called me. It's been a freaking year."_ She was pissed. Great.

"I'm sorry lovey, I've just been caught up in some drama over here. You would not believe the shit I've put up with." Hot dang my language was getting worse. Emma + me + drama = foul language.

_"Tell me all about it sweetie, I'm gonna make it all better."_ And so I did. I regaled her with the stories of Colin's little crush, my smooch making with Embry, Colin and Embry's fight, finding out Jake loves me, kissing Embry again, Jake and Embry fighting, kissing Jacob in the woods, then ending up with Embry. Emma remained mostly silent, just listening to me venting about all the drama I had dealt with. She made all the appropriate noises at the right times and was completely on the same brain wave with me by the time my story was done.

_"Girly, you move fast."_ She sounded vaguely amused, but more disturbed. I laughed, almost hysterically.

"Trust me, I know." I sighed before flinging the blanket away from me. Seth had turned off the fan and I was overheating from all the layers on me. I rose from the bed and took a glance in the mirror; I looked like death warmed over. "I never thought that all this madness would start with my presence. Maybe I should move back to PA?" I said it as a joke, no real intention behind it.

_"Me and Jackson miss you something fierce. If you wanna come home, we have an open couch just for you."_ I smiled. I missed hanging out with those two, even if I had to stay on a ratty couch the whole time I lived there.

"You know, just for a change, you two should come here." I whispered this as I took a seat on the window sill. It was rainy and muggy outside, no picnics today. Emma laughed from across the line.

_"Way ahead of you my darling."_ That was officially cryptic.

"What are you talking about?" I queried, pushing at the topic.

_"Me and Jacks have been talking about visiting you for the longest time, but never really solidified plans. We've got some vacation time building up and we think it would be a good time to come down to La Push."_ I squealed in excitement and started jumping up and down. Seth reopened the door to see what I was doing, but I shooed him away and shut the door behind him.

"Seriously? You guys are coming here?!" My heart was racing and I knew I looked something frightening what with my bed head hair and wide eyes.

_"Yes ma'am!"_ I laughed joyfully and started rummaging through my dresser. I needed to get dressed so I could share the news with my family downstairs. That thought made me pause. Sam and Emily were no longer my only family in La Push. The entire pack had become family to me; a group of older and younger brothers that cared about me. _"Are you listening?"_

"Sorry Em, got distracted. What were you saying?" She laughed at my not quite ADD before responding.

_"We're gonna try and be down there in the next couple weeks. Probably towards the start of Summer so we can be there for your birthday. We'll let you know the exact time we're gonna be down there when we know for sure, okay?"_ I responded in the positive and flung my clothes onto my bed.

"Sure thing lovey. Can't wait." I shucked off my pjs with one hand while trying to keep the phone next to my ear.

_"Alrighty then, I've gotta go and get ready for work. I'll talk to you later."_ We said farewell and hung up the phone. I was excited to share my news with everyone. I pulled on my black ankle length skirt and light blue tee and smiled at myself in the mirror.

I threw my door open and launched myself down the stairs. I had to grab the rail so I didn't plummet to my death, but I was so thrilled, I didn't even care that I was putting myself in danger. Of course, moments like this always end in dangerous escapades for me. My foot caught on the stair as I tried to catch myself and I ended up falling head first down stairs. My arms flailed, groping for something to grab onto, but my attempts failed and I could only watch in horror as the floor rapidly closed in.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"That's a lot of blood..."

"Is she okay?"

"Oh my God, arms don't bend that way..."

"We need to get her to the hospital...."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

It was so bright and I was in pain. There was pressure on my arm and I felt heat, but I was blinded by that brilliant light. I forced myself into a wakeful state and really listened to what was going on around me. I could hear the beep off a monitor and the sound of someone softly snoring, but beyond that, there was no noise. My eyelids were heavy, but I opened my eyes and glanced around.

White walls, bright lights, blue curtains. Dammit, I was in a hospital.

"Auggie?" Colin croaked. He was laying half on my bed while still managing to sit in the chair beside me. His head was resting on my right arm, but he opened his eyes to look at me. The snoring was now explained.

"Hey." I whispered. I took a deep breath and let it out abruptly at the sharp pain I experienced in my chest.

"Careful!" He exclaimed, wide eyed and alert. I nodded slowly and took more shallow breaths. I wanted to ask what was going on and what had happened, but I could remember my frightening fall down the stairs and didn't really want to know how bad the damage was.

"Where is everybody?" I asked slowly. Colin lifted up from the bed and stretched his arms up high. He was fully clothed and the only explanation was that we were in a hospital and he didn't want the nurses passing out from his sheer beauty. He glanced at the door that was closed and looked to see if anyone was out there.

"Sam and Embry took Jacob back to La Push so he could shower and get something to eat. He's been by your side all day and he was starting to look a little ragged. That and he would snap at the nurses and doctors every time they stopped in to check on you." He paused and smiled at me. "Jared, Paul and Brady are back in La Push doing patrols, but Emily, Seth and Leah are in the cafeteria eating some dinner."

"Is Jake okay?" I sounded like I hadn't spoken in an obnoxious amount of time. I figured that if I had really been in the hospital for as long as I felt like, it was understandable. Colin nodded swiftly.

"Yeah, he's alright, just really worried about you."

I smiled and sighed. "Good, no need for him to panic or anything."

"Look who's talking." I lifted my head up to the doorway and smiled at Seth. He was leaning against the wall with a small bunch of flowers in his hand in a plastic vase. He had balloons in his other hand that said things like, "Happy Birthday!" and "Congratulations!"

"Nice balloons." I smirked at the dark haired boy and laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and set the vase of flowers down on the bedside table.

"Eh, gimme a break. It's all they had."

"Psh! You wish! No slack for you boy." I teased, gladly accepting the somewhat inappropriate balloons. "So how long have I been in the hospital?" I questioned, entering a more serious topic.

"Long enough." Seth replied, taking a seat in the faux lazy boy next to the bed. "You've only been unconscious for the better part of half the day. They had you pumped up with drugs to offset the concussion, broken ribs and arm. You done good, Captain of the fail team." I scowled fiercely before hesitantly poking my bandages.

"Guh. I hate being wrapped up like a friggin piñata." Colin and Seth shared an amused grin at my expense. Jerks.

"Well, if it's any consolation, you won't be in here long." I raised an eyebrow at Seth, curious as to what he was alluding to.

"Do tell, puppy." He rolled his eyes and leaned forward in his seat. His brown eyes sparkled with good humor.

"Sam's busting you out." A scheme to break me out of the institution? Hallelujah! "But there's a catch." Dammit.

"What is it?" I groaned, afraid to find out what my overly cautious cousin was planning on inflicting on me.

"There is to be no more running down stairs." Seth's serious expression dissolved into a teasing smile, so I threw my empty plastic cup at him. The plastic bounced of his head, leaving the smirking boy no worse for wear.

"You guys aren't even fun to throw things at anymore." Colin grabbed my hand and earnestly said,

"You can hit me with a baseball bat any time."


	12. Chapter 12

Two weeks after my little "accident," I was lounging on the couch with the remote on my hand. I wasn't really watching TV so much as flipping through the channels waiting for something to grasp my attention. As it was, I was terribly bored and I didn't think I was bound to find anything truly entertaining, but when you're limited to bed rest for the better part of a month and a half, you take what you can get. I idly munched on my carrot sticks and watched some scorned lover on one of those obnoxious talk shows all about confrontation and publicity. The woman was wearing this flimsy top that kept shifting over her significant bosom as she flung her hands in the air, hands aching to throttle the man casually sitting with his arm wrapped around another scantily clad woman. I sighed in frustration and flipped the channel when a cat fight broke out.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Brady, sitting in the lazy boy with his long legs flung over the side, protested my actions half heartedly. He didn't really care for day time television either, but we were both bored out of our minds. Him more so because he was on duty babysitting me and couldn't do anything else but watch me snooze away my day on the couch.

"Sorry home slice, my IQ was dropping by the second." He rolled his eyes at me, but the slight smirk on his face said he couldn't help but agree.

"I'm just so _bored_." I grunted in response and stretched out as much as I could without injuring myself further. My ribs still ached if I moved the wrong way, so I avoided that as much as possible. There was now an indent in the couch from where I laid in it habitually every day. It frustrated me to no end to not be able to move around, but I knew Sam would have my hide if I was up and about without the doctor's permission.

"You don't have to sit here the whole time and watch me snore for goodness sakes. You can go and, I don't know, read your comic books or something." Brady, at fourteen years old, was very much a geek still. He read X-Men comics and knew the back story of every character. He had read the entire Star Wars series and had seen all of the movies. He could probably quote all of the movies from memory considering how many times he had seen them. He was also a lover of Lord of the Rings. Did I mention he was a total dweeb?

"You know that Sam told me to watch you." And for good reason, in the past two weeks I had wandered off when my baby sitter was sleeping or otherwise occupied at least ten times. It was driving them mad that I kept slipping away, but I was so sick of being constrained to two areas of the house. I even had assistance when I needed to relieve myself. Honestly, I was sickened by how helpless I had become, but I had no choice but to put up with the treatment if I was going to recover.

"But he never said you had to be in the room with me 24/7." I gave him my best convincing look, in the hope that he would just buy into what I said and leave me alone for at least twenty minutes.

"I dunno Auggie. If Sam finds out that I left you alone he'll be furious." I kept up my innocent expression, even as I felt vaguely hopeless in my heart.

"He never has to find out Brady. C'mon, I'm not gonna tattle." I knew he was convinced when he cast a glance at the porch door. He chewed his lip for a minute before rising from his seat.

"Alright, I'm only gonna be gone for a little while, so don't get any ideas. I'm just gonna head on over to my house real fast and grab my comics. Don't go anywhere." I looked at his abandoned homework and nodded in agreement.

"Won't go anywhere. You got it." I waited for a full two minutes before I slowly slid my legs off the side of the couch. I could feel a sharp twinge in my ribs from moving too quickly, but I was determined to do something other than lay down all day. I used my arm to prop my upper body up so I could shift myself completely off the couch. When I was finally standing, I had to take a deep breath to relax my chest. My ribs were absolutely aching from moving around, but I was so close to being free that I wasn't about to stop now.

I was half way across the stairs when I had to stop to breathe. My chest was on fire and I had nothing to grab onto to support myself. I felt so weak and the pressure in my chest was agonizing. I panted in pain, but I was determined to make it to my destination. I just wanted to see Balto again. I needed to feel the slick moss underneath my bare feet, feel the brush of ferns against my skin and the comfort of my russet brown wolf's fur brushing through my fingers with his wet nose pressed against my neck. I glanced up to see how close I was to the woods and instead saw Jacob standing at the edge of all that green.

"Jake..." I gasped out his name and tried to take another step. My legs crumpled beneath me and I collapsed to the ground. Immediate pain flared in my chest and I cried out. Jacob rushed to my side and scooped me up into his arms. He lifted me easily and carried me back to the house.

"Stupid girl." He muttered under his breath as he opened up the door and carefully carried me up the stairs to my bedroom. I was sobbing from a combination of frustration and pain. I clung to Jacob and refused to let go of him as he tried to set me down on my bed.

"Don't leave me, please. I don't want to be alone." I needed someone with me. I needed to be held and to hold. Without Embry handy, I would take whatever I could get. Even if it was Paul here I would still beg for them to stay.

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered in a gruff voice as he settled down beside me. His body pressed against mine was such a comfort. His abnormal body heat was a balm to the ache in my ribs. We stayed there on my bed, spooned together, until Brady finally returned to the house. Jake heard his frustrated curse when he realized that I was no longer laying on the couch, so he called for the boy to join us upstairs.

"I leave for twenty flippin' minutes and you..." He stopped his rant abruptly as he saw the apologetic expression on my face and the angry expression on Jake's.

"You never should have left in the first place." His words were biting and the other boy visibly flinched. He mumbled an apology under his breath and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Are you going to tell Sam?" He asked, terrified of the repercussions he might experience. I stayed silent, just watching them and trying to focus on fighting down the pain.

"Of course. You were foolish to leave, and in your absence she hurt herself. Of course I'm going to tell Sam." Brady looked instantly concerned. His eyes went to my wrapped ribs and searched for any visible injury.

"Is she okay now?" He asked, frightened that I had more seriously injured myself. I smiled at the boy warmly and fought back the urge to shrug.

"I'm fine for the moment. I'm sure Sam's gonna kill me too, so we're in the same boat." I said in a cajoling fashion. That seemed to bring some comfort to the younger boy, so he resigned himself to his fate.

"Alright, well, I guess I'll be downstairs if you need me." He said, heading back to the living room.

"And I'll be here pondering my doom if you need me." I said in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice. Jake grunted and pressed his nose into my hair. He wrapped his arm around me before readjusting so that his hand settled on my left hip instead. I grabbed his hand and moved it from my side.

"You ask me to stay and then won't let me truly hold you?" This upset him, it didn't take a mind reader to figure that one out. I sighed and began to chew on my lower lip.

"I needed someone to stay with me, I needed to be held, but I don't need to give anyone the wrong impression." I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. No matter how hard I tried to stay loyal to Embry, my boyfriend, I could help but end up in situations where it was Jacob holding me. I felt like the worst girlfriend on the planet.

"You know I could always take Embry down. You could be mine." He whispered the dark words in my ear and I trembled. Part of me was horrified by the idea that he would fight Embry for me, that he would be willing to cause a major rip in the pack so he could have me. But another more primitive side, delighted in the idea. A man that would fight to have me, one that would face others that are equally strong so that he could call me his, sent chills up my spine. And I knew that Jacob was aware of that side because goose bumps broke out on my skin and I closed my eyes briefly. I couldn't help the unconscious response.

"And sometimes I think that it wouldn't even take the fight." He said the words and then turned my head so he could kiss me. His lips met mine for a brief second as that darker side of me celebrated in his touch, and then I wrenched my head away and tried to scoot to the edge of the bed.

"Don't you dare." I muttered angrily, pushing myself to the edge of my strength to just move farther away from him. He grabbed my hip and slowly pulled me back to him.

"Relax Auggie, I'm not gonna try it again." He seemed upset, but he didn't say anything more about it. He was pulling me back towards him when Embry entered the room in a rush.

"Auggie, are you okay?" He said the words and then noted the situation on the bed. I was pulling myself away from Jake while he pulled me closer. I knew that Embry would be able to see the resistance between us and smell our combined scents and jump to conclusions. A snarl ripped from his mouth and his hands shook from the tension as he tried to keep himself from shifting in my bedroom.

"Calm down Embry." Jake commanded, strength in his voice. He released my hip and slowly moved to a sitting position. I continued moving to the edge of the bed so I could sit up and move away. I wasn't about to get in between the boys when they were aching for a fight.

"Calm down?" Embry questioned in response. His whole body was shaking and I knew he was moments from shifting into his other form. I finally was able to sit up and grab my side table. If I could just stand up, I would be able to walk to the corner beside my dresser and get out of their way. "You touch her without her permission and you dare tell me to calm down?"

It was too late. I was barely standing up when a great shiver went through Embry's body and he shifted. His wolf form tore its way out of his body as he leaped towards the boy throwing himself off my bed. Jake launched himself in the opposite direction of my position in the room and shifted as well. I did my best to shuffle towards the corner and get away from the fight. Embry bit down on Jake's shoulder and threw him against my dresser, causing it to slide against the wall and collapse inwards from the concussive hit. I screamed in surprise as I stumbled backwards in fright. My foot caught the edge of the bed and I toppled over. My rib cage caught the edge of my side table and I felt the blossom of agony fire through my chest.

The pain was so immense, so immediate, that I couldn't even scream. I could only exhale abruptly as all of my muscles spasmed and clenched. I was laying on the floor, fighting back the nausea as gray spots danced in my vision. My body felt completely numb except for my ribs. Each breath was another burst of agony. I just wanted to stop breathing so the pain would stop too. I almost didn't recognize Sam when he knelt down beside me because I was so focused on existing in that moment.

"August?" My name was a question on his lips, but I couldn't muster up the strength to say hey or even nod my head. My cousin reached down to touch me and I whimpered instinctively. I had no clue when the fight had ended and when the pack had entered, but I was surrounded but a lot of people suddenly and I was irrationally afraid.

"August. It's Emily, can you hear me?" Sam's fiancé was kneeling at my side her hand brushed the hair out of my face. "Blink twice for yes." It took more effort than it should have to do that. Each time my eyes closed I had to fight to open them up again. I knew that this was a bad sign. It meant I had done more damage when I fell than I had when I had fallen down the stairs.

"If you think you can speak, blink twice." I thought about her words for a moment before blinking twice. I wasn't sure about that one, but I was willing to at least try. "If you can, I want you to say 'okay'. Can you do that?" I took a few deep breaths and opened my mouth to speak. As soon as the first syllable came from mouth the nausea hit me abruptly and I puked violently.

Stars flashed in front of my eyes and I cried from the pain it caused to regurgitate. Somebody was yelling and the pain in my chest was now battling with the pain in my head. I just wanted everything to stop. I didn't want to feel anymore pain, I didn't want to see anymore spots, I didn't want anybody else to ask me how I was doing and I sure as hell didn't want to end up back in the hospital. When I finally stopped puking and the spots stopped dancing in front of my eyes, I looked at Emily again. She was on the phone with someone while she continued to inspect my broken form. I watched her lazily, I felt so lethargic, like I was drugged or something. Even as I laid there watching her, the feeling increased until I was fighting to keep my eyes open.

"You need to stay awake for me August. Don't close your eyes." Emily's words just washed over me as the darkness kept creeping in. I was so tired, I needed to sleep. I just hoped that when I woke, the pain would be gone. I tried to tell her that I was sorry for falling asleep on her, but the darkness rushed towards me and I was no longer conscious of anything.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

(A/N) Sorry this chapter is so long in coming! I have 7 chapters after this already written, but everything must go through my beta (the lovely Jazz Roisin) before it gets posted, so patience! Anyways, leave me a note. I'd really love to hear what you think about the story and where you think it's heading.


	13. Chapter 13

"Auggie, wake up." My mind was foggy and unresponsive. Well, maybe it was responsive if I had enough thought to reach out and swat the hand slapping my cheek lightly. "C'mon, I know you wanna sleep, but you need to wake up and take your medicine." I groggily cracked open my eyes and watched Seth's face dance in front of mine for a moment before it came into focus.

"Wha?" I could barely form the words in my drug induced sleep. Seth pinched his nose between his fingers and scowled.

"Geez, you could use a breath mint or five!" He exclaimed, backing away from my face. I merely grunted and tried to go back to sleep. "Oh no you don't! Time to wake up and smell the roses!" The younger boy grabbed my arms and gently lifted me on the couch so I was sitting up more than laying down. I moaned from the aching pain and tried not to move anymore than necessary.

"Hey! Careful with her!" My cousin's voice echoed from the kitchen. Ever since the fight between Embry and Jake that had resulted in myself being injured further, he had refused to leave me alone with only one person. Embry and Jacob were absolutely banned from being in the same room together, but I wasn't even allowed to hang with Seth alone.

"I'm being careful, Sam. Can I help that she's so flippin' breakable?" He shook his head as he handed me a cup of luke warm water and my pills. "You have to take all of the pills this time Auggie. And don't think I don't know that you hide that pain pill in your cheek until I'm not watching." I frowned deeply and accepted my pills grudgingly. The only reason I wasn't so fond of taking the pain pill is because not only did it make me drowsy, when I was awake I felt like I was functioning in slow motion and couldn't truly focus on anything.

I swallowed the pills with a swig of my water and grimaced. The pills left a chalky flavor in my mouth, but the water did some to wash away the cotton mouth feeling. I deliriously glanced around the room, noticing that there was some cartoon on the TV, Sam was sitting at the kitchen table and I glared at him over the couch. He met my gaze and shook his head, probably disappointed with my grumpy behaviour. The porch door opened up and I turned to look at the front entrance of the house where Leah was walking in.

"I see you've risen from the dead." She remarked sarcastically. I tried to get a smile to form on my face, but the medicine was already kicking in and combined with the leftover vestiges of my last dose, I was feeling pretty out of it.

"Leah, can I ask you a favour?" Emily's soft voice drifted from down the hall as she entered the living room. She had her silky black hair pulled back into a long braid and she was untying her apron as she walked.

"I guess it depends on the favour." Leah admitted with an unpleasant expression on her face. I could never blame Leah for her behaviour towards Emily, nor for her disagreeable attitude as a whole, but it did grow wearisome after some time. For once, I would've liked to see Leah with a smile on her face and happy words to say.

"I have to run to the store to get some things for the bonfire tonight and with all the cooking I have to get started on, I won't have time to give August her bath. I would ask one of the boys, but I think we can all agree that would be inappropriate and awkward for all parties involved." Leah's jaw tightened as she tossed Emily's idea around in her head. She knew that I did need a bath, hell, we all knew that. I had been lying on the couch for two days straight and my own stench was starting to get to me. However, I knew that I wasn't the most pleasant person to have to bathe. I fought the whole time because there is nothing more mortifying than someone having to see you and wash you while you're naked.

"No one else is around to help, huh?" Emily nodded in affirmative and Leah sighed. "I guess. Go run your errands." She practically grunted the last part as she cast a baleful look my way. I was scowling deeper than she was which considering how long she'd had to practice; this was impressive in my mind.

"Scrub-a-dub-dub! Two ladies in the tub!" Leah snatched an apple out of the bowl of fruit on the counter and chucked it at Seth's head. He ducked just in the nick of time, but the apple still exploded against the wall. Little bits of apple guts dropped to the floor as juice slowly dripped down the wall.

"Leah!" Sam's commanding voice echoed in my brain like a blaring horn. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and tried to pretend like there wasn't any pain. Maybe if I tried hard enough I could fall asleep and just snore through my bathing experience with the she-wolf. "Just, get August in the wash. Seth, you get to clean up the apple since you provoked her."

"What! Totally unfair." Even as he said the words he moved forward to get a cloth to wipe up the apple juice. Leah stood beside the couch and stared down at me with an unreadable expression.

"Whachoo lookin' at?" My words were slurred, meaning the medicine was really working hard. She shook her head at me and leaned down to scoop me into her arms. I grit my teeth in preparation for the shock of pain that never came. I relaxed in her arms as I realized that the medicine was good for at least making bath time a less painful experience.

"Must've given you the good stuff for you to be so compliant." The tall woman muttered as she easily carried me to Sam and Emily's bathroom. The only reason we didn't use the hall bathroom was because it was simply too small for one of the wolves to manoeuvre me around in, and considering they needed all the space they could get, my cousin allowed the use of his bathroom for my bathing needs.

"Guess so." I mumbled under my breath in response to Leah's words. She let out a huff of breath and closed the door behind us. This is where things got awkward. She needed to get the bath water running, but she couldn't set me down because number one, I wasn't conscious enough to stay in any position other than limp and number two, shifting my ribs in the wrong position could puncture a lung or something equally vital. Leah shifted me enough so she could get a free hand to open the door.

"Hey! I could use some help in here!" She hollered down the hallway. There was the murmur of voices from the front room before footsteps started coming closer to the bathroom.

"Somebody need a hand?" The voice was achingly familiar. I craned my neck so I could look over the curve of Leah's arm and I smiled as brightly as I could with drugs fogging my system.

"Emma." Her name was a sigh on my lips. Nothing would've pleased me more in that moment than to leap out of Leah's arms and throw myself into my best friend's, but seeing as how I was mostly incapacitated, I knew that wasn't a logical thought.

"Salut!" Her eyes were bright as she greeted me, then darkened ominously as she prepared the rant that she had been waiting to let loose on me since she had gotten the call saying I was injured. "You leave my side for just a few months and this is what happens? Two serious injuries in two weeks?" She scoffed and shook her head. "Ridiculous, chère, absolutely ridiculous."

"Can we cut the chit chat already?" Leah's caustic words cut through Emma's words with ease. Even in the face of one of the most intimidating figures I had ever known, Emma was not cowed by Leah's powerful presence.

"Oh please. I haven't seen this girl for a year and you're demanding that I not speak to her already? Gracious!" She exclaimed as she slid past the larger woman to start the bath water. She held her hand under the flow of water and monitored how warm it got. She dug around in her pocket for a moment and pulled out a small vial that she opened and tipped a few drops in before Leah could ask.

"What did you just put in?" She asked, but even as she said the words the scent of frankincense drifted up to my nose, soothing me inexplicably.

"Frankincense," Emma explained, "Is an all natural oil that is proven to help with bruises and the soothing of muscles." She smiled at me fondly before adding, "Like I would hurt ma chère anymore than necessary." She petted my hair with a pale hand and flicked her eyes up at Leah coyly. "Gonna help me get her out of her clothes or are we going to _chit chat_ all day?"

She emphasized chit chat to irritate Leah and I could see that it was working quite well. I could see her developing a come back as she stood there and held me, but she bit it back in an effort to speed up the process. Leah shifted her grip on me so Emma could unbutton my pants, but after that I drifted off into the land of dreams, thankful that I didn't have to be awake for the humiliating process of bathing.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Is this all she does?" Emma's sultry voice drifted through my ears, but I was still halfway connected to dream land so I wasn't inclined or capable of answering at the time.

"What, sleep? Yeah, she does that a lot." That was Emily responding to her question. I could only surmise that she had finished those errands and had started cooking in preparation for the bonfire. Even with my foggy senses, I could still smell the banana bread in the air.

"Is that the response to the meds she's supposed to have? Because really, this is not the Gusty I remember." She seemed to regret the loss, as she had a mournful tone of her voice. "Figures tha' the first time I see her in a year and she's hardly functionin' properly enough to say h'llo." I knew that my best friend had to be stressed out about my situation, because I could faintly hear a hint of her cajun accent drifting into her words. She had worked hard at school to eliminate her accent from her voice. She didn't want anything to do with her home town in Louisiana; she had always told me that there were too many bitter memories connected to the place.

"Sam is planning on talking to the doctor to see if we can get her on less powerful medication, but for the mean time, we're just happy she's not in pain anymore." If there was one thing that was really frustrating me from being on the medicine, it was feeling helpless. There was nothing I wanted more than to stand up and walk into that kitchen and have a real conversation with my friends, but I was limited to the places where people were willing to carry me. It was absolutely infuriating, but I had to make do with what I had.

"Y'wake ma chère?" I squirmed on the couch and tried to push myself into a sitting position to no avail.

"Yeah, I'm awake. Can somebody help me sit up?" Confessing that I needed help to simply sit up was a big admission for me, and a mighty blow to my pride.

"Mm, I got it." I hadn't noticed Embry napping on the lazy boy until he was raising from his seat to help me move. He looked just as exhausted as I was, and until this moment, I hadn't realized how very much I missed his presence in my everyday life.

"Hey." I whispered as he gripped me gently and lifted me on the couch. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine softly. He lingered there, but I wasn't complaining. I loved Embry's kisses and treasured them whenever I had the chance. "Where've you been?" I asked when he finally pulled away. He sat down slowly on the edge of the couch next to me and rubbed his face with his large hands.

"The usual. Working on some homework as well." The usual was a codename for running patrols. With Emma around, they weren't likely to mention any pack activity. As for homework, Embry had started college last week and since he had a more flexible schedule, he was working hard to do something for himself for once. Words could not describe how proud I was of my boyfriend.

"You want anything to drink Gusty?" I turned my head to look at Emma standing in the kitchen's doorway. She was leaning against the side of the door frame with her hand perched on her other hip. I smiled at her familiar pose and shrugged.

"I would kill for some lemonade." She nodded her head and briskly swept into the kitchen to fix me a glass. I turned to look back at Embry, but he was still staring into the kitchen with the most absurd expression on his face. He looked transfixed; when Emma entered the living room with the glass of lemonade in her hand, his gaze followed her like a hawk.

"Something wrong with your boyfriend?" My best friend inquired, looking at Embry with a quirked eyebrow. A shiver went through his spine as he seemed to come awake again.

"Sorry." He was still staring at her, but not so creepily anymore.

"Whatever." She muttered and handed me the glass. "Drink slowly chère. All they've been givin' you is water, so this might seem a little too sweet or a little too tart." I took a sip carefully and she was right. It was both sweet and tart, but it was exactly what I wanted.

"Emma, have you met Embry yet?" I could only explain his behaviour as not having expected her presence. She shook her head and stuck out her hand to greet him.

"Name is Emma Du Bois, and y'self?" Her accent was thick again, as though every time she remembered to fade it out, she forgot immediately and let it back into her voice.

"Embry Call." He shook her hand and was slow to release his grip. When he finally let go, he glanced down at me with a look of utter confusion and helplessness. I had no clue what was going through his head, but I was instantly concerned for him.

"Em?" I said his name like a question, wondering what was wrong. He shook his head and backed away. He then turned abruptly and ran from the house, not even looking behind to watch my reaction to his unusual behavior.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not his normal behavior." I nodded my head yes and broke my gaze away from the door and his disappearing figure. I looked into the kitchen and Emily looked just as amazed. She had paused her kneading of the dough and looked as though she needed to do other things at the moment than what she had on hand.

"Emma, can you call someone for me?" They continued their conversation as my best friend picked up the phone and dialled the number for Emily. She even held the phone to her ear so that she could have the conversation without getting dough and flour all over the cordless phone. But I was still staring out the door, wishing Embry would come back and tell me that everything was going to be okay and that there was nothing wrong.


	14. Chapter 14

Jacob came over to the house not long after Emily got off the phone. He was panting like he had run a great distance in a brief period of time. He immediately came over to stand beside my couch and stared at me with a million thoughts flying through his mind. I could see indecision flit through his eyes until he finally went into the kitchen to talk with Emily. They whispered in hushed voices that made me feel like an outsider. Emma came to sit beside me and tried to strike up some light chit chat about life here on the rez, but I was staring at Jake and Emily, wishing I had insight into the situation.

"Y' not even listenin' are ya?" I turned to look at my best friend and felt apologetic immediately. She sighed deeply, but when her caramel colored eyes met mine, I knew she had already forgiven me. "Wish I had telepathy 'bout now." She confessed, a smirk on her face. I nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to look in the kitchen. To my surprise, Jake had approached the couch silently and now stood leaning over with his arms perched on the edge of the couch.

"You looking forward to the bonfire tonight?" He said the words with a light tone, which after the recent events, seemed awkward and incompatible. I shrugged and leaned back against my pillow.

"What's wrong with Embry?" I stared at Jake with a serious expression. I knew he knew what was going on, especially after that furious conversation with Emily. I just wanted to be in on the loop; I wanted to know what was wrong with my boyfriend. He shrugged my question off.

"He's fine." He tried to maintain a composure of indifference, but I saw right through him. "The bonfire ought to be good tonight. The tribe elders are going to tell some of our legends." I bit my lip to keep from chewing him out for keeping me out of the loop, but if I was right, Sam was ordering people about on the chain of command so that I heard nothing about what was going on until they figured it out themselves.

"Hey Jake, can I get a hand with the cooler?" Emily asked from the doorway. I could see the handle of the white cooler just behind her.

"Yeah, just a sec. Let me get Paul." He was almost to the door when the afore mentioned boy came up the porch steps and opened the door without any fanfare. I had learned to love Paul simply because he lived drama free. He was very much a no nonsense person and didn't put up with the antics of the other wolf boys.

"Cooler too big for you Jake?" His tone was teasing and sarcastic. I couldn't help but love a biting sense of humor. The other boy gave him a look that said, 'please.'

"It's just awkward to carry. Now c'mon." They went into the kitchen and carried the cooler out with ease. I knew that either of them could have carried the weight of the cooler with no problem, but Jake had been very accurate when he said that the cooler was awkward to carry. They clunked it into the back of Sam's truck and they came back into the house, this time with a wheel chair in hand.

"No. Absolutely not." I refused. There was no way I was going to be carted around in a wheelchair down First Beach. There were too many rocks, it would be a bumpy ride the whole way.

"C'mon Auggie. This will make it easier to get you around." I shook my head adamantly and narrowed my eyes.

"Think this through Jake. What covers the ground on the beach?" He raised an eyebrow and answered.

"Rocks and sand."

"Rocks, exactly. There is no flippin' way that I'm going to be in a wheelchair while I'm carted down the rockiest beach around. It will be agonizing!" Jake seemed to think my words through before sighing and nodding his head in acknowledgment. "I guess we could carry you down the beach and then just set you in the wheelchair when we're down by the fire." I sighed in relief.

"Now you're thinking things through." I gave him a small smile and turned to Emma with a satisfied expression on my face. She was laughing silently while shaking her head.

"Got them thoroughly trained don'tcha?" She seemed more than pleased by the home life I had here in La Push. I think part of her would always miss having me around in Burgettstown, but seeing how comfortable things were here seemed to give her some semblance of peace. Now if only I could figure out what was wrong with Embry.

"I never asked, but where's Jacks?" She shook her head and sighed in frustration.

"He couldn't get off of work as soon as I could. He should be down in a few days though, unless he catches a lucky break and can come down sooner." I bobbed my head and wished that I could see my unbiological brother. I loved that boy something fierce and considering I hadn't seen him for the better part of a year, I was aching to see his face again.

"Alright, I've got all of the food packed up and ready to go. Let's get this show on the road!" Emily declared cheerily as she tried to balance pie pans and casserole dishes alike. Emma hopped to her feet to share the load as Jake came around the couch to scoop me up into his arms.

"Time to get in the truck oh invalid one." He smirked at me teasingly and carried me out to the truck. He slid me as gently as possibly into the front seat and helped me buckle up without bumping my ribs. He cushioned me in there with a few pillows and tried to make me as secure as possible. "I'll see if I can get Emily to avoid those bumps in the road." He leaned over unexpectedly and pressed a kiss to my cheek before closing my door and hopping into the bed of the truck next to Paul.

Emily climbed into the drivers seat next to me and smiled at me as kindly as possible. Emma shoved the pans and dishes into the back seat and buckled up in the back. We all seemed as secure as we were going to get, so Emily put the key in the ignition, turned the truck on and pulled out of the drive.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Embry's behavior at the bonfire was in a word; evasive. He dodged around my direct questions and avoided giving me straight answers, all the while staring at me with the most lost expression on his face and occassionally glancing at Emma with a look that baffled me. I didn't know what to think. It was utterly disconcerting that he was spending so much time staring at my best friend, but more concerning was the fact that he refused to talk about it. He sat beside me, but his mind wasn't there. I think that given the choice, he would've preferred to be far away from me.

"Embry, are you even listening to me?" Not for the first time this night, he tore his eyes away from Emma on the other side of the circle and met my eyes, fidgeting all the while.

"Sorry. What were you saying?" He said the words merely out of curtesy. It was clear to anyone watching that he didn't honestly want to know what I was talking about. He was otherwise occupied. My throat tightened and tears flooded my eyes. I fought back the urge to cry and ignored the ache in my chest that had nothing to do with my broken ribs. I shook my head and settled back into my wheelchair, but his attention was already turned back to my beautiful best friend.

Emma seemed to sense something was wrong with me, and disregarding my boyfriend's uncharacteristic and cold behavior, she crossed the circle and came to kneel beside me. She stroked my hands and peered at me with those caramel eyes that saw much more than people expected.

"Ma chère, can I get you something to eat, drink? Any'tin?" I shook my head and fought back the jealousy that swept through me as Embry gazed at her with a look that held something I refused to name. "No? Well, ya just tell me iffin you need somet'in." Her accent was thicker; clearly she was stressing over my noncommunication. But how could I confess to her what was broiling in my heart? My boyfriend, formerly my best friend, who had never previously mistreated me, was now behaving as though I couldn't matter less.

The dark haired woman sighed and rose from her spot. I could tell her knees were aching from kneeling down beside me and I appreciated her effort. She stretched her legs out and returned to her side of the circle, where she resumed her vigil while playing nonchalance. I could see how much it cost her emotionally to pretend like everything was okay, but if she only knew how much it was costing me to not burst into tears like a child throwing a tantrum. She would be awed by my restraint.

"Our people, the Quileutes, have many stories about our heritage." Billy Black's voice was unparalelled as it reached over the voices of others speaking. Like clockwork, all eyes turned to him as he began to speak. "Many of these legends have passed away through time, but those of us who know them are honor bound to share the legends of our people to the future generations." Everyone stopped fidgeting in their seats as Billy weaved his magic over the crowd. "Tonight, I am going to tell you the story of Taha Aki and the Third Wife."

Every word that Billy spoke pulled me in. All of my worries and frustrations leaked away as I lost myself in the story. I recognized the cold ones as what they were, vampires, and just like my werewolf companions, hated them fiercely at what they did. But I was awe struck as I listened to what he said, of the Third Wife's sacrifice for Taha Aki. How anyone could love so deeply was beyond me, but I was enraptured. I wanted a love like that; one that would compell me to do whatever was necessary for the survival of my lover. By the time that Billy stopped speaking, I was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. His story had revealed so much, and hidden much more. I wanted to know why this story on this night when my entire world was falling apart.


	15. Chapter 15

I was sitting on the porch, wrapped in my blankets while drawing the day after the bonfire when Embry finally came to see me. He looked as though he hadn't slept, and he was constantly twitching his hands, something I had come to recognize as a nervous habit. On the outside I was calm and collected, but on the inside, I was falling apart.

"Can I talk to you?" He whispered, not meeting my eyes. I lifted my gaze from my paper and eyed his unsteady figure. I nodded when he looked at me briefly.

"You don't have to stand there and fidget Em, you can have a seat." I patted the seat beside me, but he shook his head and refused to meet my eyes again. A piece of my heart chipped off from the cold that had settled inside. He ran his hands through his hair and finally lifted his gaze to mine. His dark brown eyes held confusion mixed with pain. All I could do was be honest and show him the fear and anxiety that was living in my heart.

"The story from last night, about Taha Aki and the Third Wife," He started, "is not fake. Their connection was more powerful than anything ever known to man. It's something... special, among the Quileutes." He began to pace on the board walk in front of me. "Special among _us." _When he said us, I knew he was referring to the shape shifters. I stayed silent and listened to him. "Once we shift, we have this thing that happens where if we see the right person, we imprint." He growled in frustration and ran his hands through his hair again.

"It's like, you see this person and everything changes. You don't care about anything or anyone, except for that person. Your world alters and shifts so that it revolves around _her." _A dreamy look fell across his face as he spoke. If only he knew how broken I felt on the inside. A sense of foreboding was growing in my heart. "She ties you to the Earth and all you live for is seeing her, protecting her, loving her. Nothing else matters." He glanced up at me then, and as though sensing the heart break I was experiencing he said, "You can't help it."

"I've loved you for so long Auggie." His voice was soft and gentle, but I knew what was coming. "I never wanted to break your heart. I always dreamed we'd grow up and we'd get married and that would be the end. I'm so sorry." I couldn't take any more. I set my paper and pencils down and covered my face so he wouldn't see me cry. My entire world was crashing down around me and I couldn't do a thing to make it stop.

"So you just, love her more?" I asked, not unkindly. So much of me couldn't understand how he could just walk away from the relationship we had built.

"It's not that. It's like all the love I've ever known in the world was just pretend. But now that I've met her, I know what love is and everything before just pales in comparison." I gasped in pain; my body felt like it had split down the sides so all the agony inside me could pour out. "I'm so sorry Auggie. I wish I had never fallen in love with you, so I would never have to break your heart like this." I wiped away my tears and glared at him with all the anger that was burgeoning in my heart.

"You wish you had never fallen in love with me, because you prefer being in love with her? That's cold Embry. That is so cold." I wrapped my arms around my broken form and held tight. My reality was torn, nothing could sew it back together.

"Mon Dieu, is that you cryin' out here, Gusty?" Emma stepped out of the house and stared at me with the most compassionate look in her eyes. Her whole body radiated concern for me as she came up to me and wrapped me in her arms. "Now who's the fool who made you cry? I swear I'll tear him limb from limb." I sobbed into her shoulder because I was beyond words. How could she know? How could she possibly understand that it was _her _that made my boyfriend break up with me?

"I didn't mean to make her cry." Emma lifted her head and glared at him with force. She was a force to be reckoned with and size had never intimidated her.

"You." She said it with malice dripping from her voice. "You've been actin' th' fool dis whole time I've been here. An' now, y' make her cry? Fool of a boy! Leave! Iffin I see you on dis front lawn ag'in, I'ma be after ya wit' a baseball bat. Now git!" She was furious and a dark part of me was satisfied in the knowledge that Embry had been told to leave by the very woman he had broken up with me for.

He hestitated. He seemed to be torn between wanting to prove to her that he wasn't entirely heartless and running away from the woman who so calously dismissed him. HIs dark brown eyes rolled with his inner turmoil and I hated myself for caring so much. There was a huge chunk of me that was bleeding and broken on the inside, but there was another part that just wanted to throw my arms around him and pull him close so I could prove to him how very much I was still in love with him. I squished that part down into the dark recesses of my heart. I wanted to forget Embry Call.

"Now, now ma chère, we're just gonna go insi'e and get some rest, okay? Gonna lay you down an' make you some soup an' you can forget all about dat fool. He ain't wort' yo' tears." She petted my head and kissed my forehead. She held me close and I clinged to her presence. I was sick and tired of being in pain, whether it be physical or emotional. I just wanted a little peace in my life, and slowly but gradually, my memories of La Push were being tainted by pain.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Hours later, I awoke from my long nap. I was firmly tucked in my bed upstairs, with Seth sitting on the chair beside me, staring out the window with a concerned look on his face. It was dark outside and the stars shone brightly in the night. I shifted into a more comfortable position while simultaneously trying to avoid hurting my ribs. Seth noticed my careful movement and turned his gaze to my covered form. In his eyes, I could see my pain echoed. He said nothing, but I knew that he couldn't understand the heart ache I was suffering. To him, it was something foreign. I hoped he would never have to suffer this pain.

When my door cracked open, we both turned to look at who was entering. Jake stood in the doorway like a carved statue. His body was just as beautiful as always, but I felt dead inside and couldn't even muster up a pleasant thought. He and Seth switched places, only once Seth was out the door, Jake sat beside me on the bed and watched me with a veiled gaze. I turned away from him and watched the stars twinkle in the sky.

"I know it doesn't make the pain go away, but I know what you're going through." His words were whispered so low that I almost couldn't hear them. I was of a mind to ignore him and try to drift off to sleep, but I wanted someone to know how hurt I was. "Time makes all wounds fade and eventually, you won't feel like your splitting apart at the seams anymore." I choked out a sob and tried to stifle my tears. Jake grasped my hands that were furiously wiping my eyes and pulled them away.

"Let me go." I pleaded, to tired to really fight, too lost in my pain to really care. He pulled those hands to his mouth and kissed them with soft lips.

"No. You are far too beautiful to suffer alone. Don't hide your pain. Let me help you heal." I pitifully tried to pull my hands back, but he was so strong and I had lost so much of my strength. He leaned in to me and I struggled harder, but I couldn't prevent his lips from caressing mine, nor his hands from pinning my arms to my sides. He kissed me like he was trying to draw the pain from my body, but I wanted to wallow in my pain. I wanted to drown in my suffering.

"Please let me go Jake." I begged him, completely unprepared for those gentle hands that stroked my skin like a well tuned violin. His touches were innocent on the surface, but that deep emotion revealing itself in his eyes made me cry out. I was overwhelmed by the emotion he poured into me. Every touch drained and refilled until I was sobbing so hard that my ribs ached fiercely. He pressed his lips so firmly against mine and those powerful hands grasped my head and he kissed me like he worshipped me.

"I will never let you go August. I will be yours until the day I die." I shook my head to try and clear it, because it was imperative to me to know what he was trying to express, but a fog had settled over my mind and the more I struggled to resurface, the more it drew me in. I was asleep before I could formulate a response.


	16. Chapter 16

_Embry pulled me closer to his warm body and pressed a kiss to my forehead. We were wrapped up in an afgan, sitting on the cliff at First Beach with the moon full above us. My plain brown eyes met his rich brown eyes and I was lost in him. My love for him swelled in my heart as I peppered his face with indulgent kisses. He chuckled at me before slowly pulling away._

_"Your kisses are sweet Auggie, but not like hers." My brows furrowed in confusion. Suddenly, he was rising from the ground and walking away to meet an approaching person. Emma was wearing a black satin dress that hugged her slim body delicately and gave her a seductive appearance. She casually draped her arms around Embry as he bent over to kiss her. My heart cracked all over again and I reeled backwards on the ground. _

_I leaned too far back and toppled over the edge of the cliff with the afgan tangled around my legs. My screams echoed down the beach until I plummeted deep into the freezing waters. I tried to inhale, but just managed to breathe in water. I was drowning! I flailed in the water, but there was a burning in my lungs that made me gasp in more water. I couldn't breathe! Was no one going to save me?_

"Chère! Chère! Wake up!" Emma's voice cut through my nightmare, wrenching me back into the present where I was gasping from the agonizing sensation in my chest.

"My ribs!" I gasped, clutching at my chest with trembling fingers. My best friend grabbed my hands and held them away from my chest so I wouldn't hurt myself any more. When the pain turned to a dull ache rather than a sharp pain, I began to cry. And Emma, my deluded companion, stroked those tears away and watched me with worried eyes.

"Oh ma chère. I hate seeing you like this." She had her voice under control, but I could hear the tremor of worry under it. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could say that would reassure either of us. The situation had gone far beyond my control.

"Is she awake?" Brady was standing in the doorway, an awkward look on his face. I think both of us were uncomfortable with my display of hysterics.

"Yeah, she's awake. But be gentle with her, her ribcage is sensitive this morning." He nodded in affirmation of her words and came over to scoop me out of bed. I was only wearing a night dress that had bunched up in my sleep. I furiously tugged it down, but to no evail. "Here, pause for a moment."

Emma brought over a pair of my sweat pants and slipped them over my legs, yet under the night gown. She then finagled her way around my pjs so she could slip an oversize shirt on me without having to remove the dress. By the time she finally removed the night gown, I was more sore than before, but at least I didn't feel like I was going to flash anybody any time soon. Brady adjusted his hold on me and carried me down stairs without further ado.

The kitchen was empty except for a tall, thin, blond man who was standing at the stove wearing a pink apron. I rested in Brady's arms and admired the man I had left behind in Pennsylvania. Jackson towered over most people, and even compared with the shape shifter who held me, he was still a very tall person. His blond hair toppled carelessly around his head like it hadn't been properly brushed in a while, but that was expected of him, considering he had probably gotten off a flight just a few hours ago. I knew his green eyes would be occupied watching the stove so he didn't burn the omelets he was preparing. His slim form looked unusual in the kitchen, but his presence was very welcome to my shattered heart.

"Say good morning Jacks." Emma's sultry voice beckoned for him to turn around, and so he did. A broad grin full of white teeth spread across his face as he saw me tucked into Brady's arms.

"Well howdy do, Miss Hewitt-Uley!" Jackson played at being more southern than he was, but even considering he was raised in Texas for most of his life, he was a city boy through and through.

"I guess Zebra's don't change their stripes after all." I mumbled, holding my breath as Brady gently sat me down in a padded chair. My ribs were still feeling sore, but they weren't feeling as bad as when I had woken from my nightmare. Jackson laughed indulgently and scoured my bruised form with his sharp green eyes.

"You look ridiculous. What in the world have you been up to while you've been away?" I shrugged and ran a hand through my tangled hair. The brown locks were starting too look a little greasy; I was due for a bath.

"You know me. I'm a trouble maker through and through." I declared, tossing my hair back playfully. With the blond back in my life, I was beginning to feel more like the carefree girl I used to be. He shook his head at me and turned back to the stove where he promptly scooped up the cooked eggs with a spatula and slid the omelet onto a plate. He then twirled around with flourish and pushed the plate across the table with a fork.

"Well, whatever you've been up to, you're not eating enough. I can tell that you've lost weight." His words made me think as I began to eat the food he had prepared. With my current state of health, I wasn't getting around much physically, so I was eating less. That combined with the recent drama from the boys meant that my appetite was pretty much nonexistant. Personally, I had the opinion that less weight would be a good thing, but the concerned look in Jackson's eyes made me believe that he didn't think the same way.

"I can afford to lose a pound or two, Jacks." I cajoled, trying to aviod the meat of the subject. He frowned slightly before sitting across from me with his own plate.

"You're welcome to the rest." He told Brady, waving a hand in the direction of the still hot pan. Brady took advantage of the opportunity by filling a plate and removing himself from the kitchen. If I was him, I'd seek to be as far away from this room as possible. "Look Auggie, I don't know who convinced you that you aren't beautiful, but if I could find them now, I'd beat the hell out of them." The look in his eyes was very serious. My throat tightened and I stared down at my plate determinedly.

"The reality is, my body isn't in the ideal shape. There's too much of me and even though the way I'm losing it isn't very healthy, I'm glad it's going anyways." My voice had become very bitter since the break up, and even I could tell that the whole situation had wounded my body image as well. Not that it had ever been spectacular, but I had always been comfortable with who I was. Embry had really messed me up.

"Break that thought now. You are beautiful." Jackson rose to his feet and came around the table to stand beside my chair. I turned away from him, eyes wide with tears as he knelt beside me. He grabbed my chin and turned my head to look at him. "Please understand me, August. You are so incredibly beautiful, Embry is a fool to break up with you. Any man who denies you oughta be slapped." He leaned in and pressed the sweetest kiss to my forehead. Jackson truly was one of my greatest friends and advocates.

"I swear to God, Paul, you can be so disgusting." Rachel's scathing voice echoed in the room as she entered the kitchen without further ado. Her boyfriend, Paul, trailed behind her like the puppy dog he was prone to be when she was around. "Hey Auggie." She nodded in my direction before grabbing the lemonade out of the fridge to pour herself a glass. Paul took the pitcher from her hand and poured the glass for her before putting it back in the fridge.

"Rach." I acknowledged her as well as she swept from the room just as suddenly as she had entered. I wondered if she had resolved the situation with her one night stand. Jackson rose from his kneeling position and stared at them as they walked away, distracting me from my thought process. I think he was feeling a little overwhelmed by the unusual behavior of the inhabitants of La Push.

"Weird folks." He muttered before going back to his seat. We ate our food in silence after that, with only the occasional comment about something we were thinking about. It seemed to me that we had changed so much that we really didn't have much to talk about anymore. Or maybe I was just feeling melodramatic because of the gaping hole Embry had left in my heart when we broke up. Yeah, that might be it.

"Gusty," I turned to look at Emma standing in the doorway where she had a curious expression on her face and a raised eyebrow, "Do you mind if Colin comes in?" The way she said that made me believe that she was willing enough to send anyone away if I desired such a thing.

"I guess not. It's not exactly my home so I'm not gonna lay down the rules about it." Emma looked as though she had half a mind to tell Colin to scat anyways, but his werewolf super hearing let him hear what I said, so he came inside and sat himself on the counter.

"Hey." He said, swinging his legs as they dangled over the lip of the counter. I smiled at the childish action before saying hey in return. So much of me missed the playful, childish antics of Colin, but another part of me was bitter at him for ruining our easy friendship. If he had not tried to press his advantage and be more than he was, than our friendship would be fine right now and I wouldn't feel awkward sitting in his presence.

"Hey there Colin, I'm Jackson. 'M a friend o' Auggie's." The blond man offered his hand to the much younger boy and he took it. Their handshake seemed firm enough to border on a competition, but they didn't linger there so I figured I must be simply projecting how I felt on the pair.

"Nice to meet you." They seemed to be getting along well enough, so I ate my food and kept quiet while I observed their interactions.

"So what's life like here on the rez?" Jackson asked good naturedly. Colin gave him some bland answer that was expected of every fourteen year old boy living in a small town. He mentioned school, the tribal elders and the regular bonfires, growing up with the sons of your parents friends, etc. It was a quaint answer, and not entirely dishonest either. I hoped that Colin and the other boys who were young enough were still attending school, especially Colin and Seth considering they were the same age. It was just another one of those topics that Sam talked about fairly often, so it was on my mind. While living the wolf pack life was enjoyable, their education was still just as important. What future could they have if they couldn't support themselves as adults?

"Y' done?" Emma asked. I nodded my head and she swept the plate off the table and rinsed it off in the sink. I stretched as well as I could without causing myself injury and caught my own scent on the breeze. I scowled at my body odor and wondered why Brady hadn't said anything. It was probably because of my nightmare. Some boys just get so finnicky around girls experiencing emotions. I turned a look Emma's way, and catching my thought, she chuckled.

"You two sharing brains again?" Jackson asked teasingly. I nodded at him while Emma simply shrugged. She went over to Jackson and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek lightly. I was vaguely surprised by this interaction because while I had known for some time that they were very open with each other emotionally, I had never known that they were in a relationship. In fact, while I stayed with them, they merely seemed very good friends. But Jackson turned to face her just then and pressed a very full kiss to her mouth. I sat there, mouth gaping, and wondered just what I had missed since I had been gone.

"Y' mouth's hangin' open ma chère." Emma's accent was leaking into her voice, so I knew she was feeling nervous about my possible response. I closed my mouth and forced a small smile onto my face. I wasn't sure how I felt in that moment, so I just tried to go for nonchalance. I could determine how I was really feeling later, after I was squeaky clean.


	17. Chapter 17

I loved being outside.

Truly, without a shadow of a doubt, nature was the place I was meant to be. For the first time in several weeks, Sam was allowing me outside, farther than the porch. In my opinion, the bonfire didn't count because I was restricted to the area and couldn't wander away. Here, in the yard with the woods spread around me like thick curtains, I felt at peace. I was not alone here, in fact, Jared was slouched against a tree with Kim tucked against his side where she was reading a book. Despite their presence, I was able to relax and draw to my heart's content.

What I drew absolutely expressed what was going on inside. My heart was in turmoil and my drawings depicted that. The charcoal sketches of the scene on the cliff from my dream was a big theme. It seemed that no matter what I started out drawing, it would always eventually lead back to that cold look in Embry's eyes as he pushed me away. The worst was when I drew Emma locked in a lover's embrace with him, completely unaware of the agony splitting through my body. Maybe I was behaving in a masochistic fashion, but my heart felt burdened by this nightmare and I did not know how else to express that.

I had only been home for the better part of two months, but my life seemed to have been proceeding in fast forward. Every day seemed to rush by me; time I could not get back. All the good times I had experienced initially after coming home had flown by, followed by days of pain and heart ache. What happened to joking around with the boys while Emily prepared meals in the kitchen? What happened to tripping over myself while crossing through the yard to say hello to my cousin when he got off patrols? What happened to the happy-go-lucky girl who had crossed the country for adventures sake?

"She fell asleep." I whispered under my breath. Jared's head lifted from the book so he could meet my gaze. I shook my head and gave him a grim smile. He stared for a moment longer, as though to reassure himself that I wasn't going to go anywhere, before returning his attention back to the woman curled up with him. I sighed deeply and continued to sketch in my book while I contemplated that thought.

I felt like I was asleep. To me, my world had gone from reality to a dark dream that I could not awake from. I lived out my days in a drug induced haze to avoid the pain in my chest, but it left me so drowzy that I couldn't focus. Today was the first day without the full dose of the pain killers and I felt like I could take deeper breaths, think more powerful thoughts and communicate more effectively with those around me. But I was still sleeping through my life. I wanted to snap awake and go on an adventure again. I wanted to venture across the country to see the states that I didn't get to see before. I wanted to go to Florida and find my dad. I wanted to live for the first time in too long.

"Auggie, it looks like it's gonna rain. Let's get inside, huh?" Kim said the words like it was just a suggestion, like I could remain outside if I wished it. The truth was, I was at the mercy of those who would take care of me and even though they were some of the greatest people I had ever known, I was still limited to what they wanted to do. I would've gladly sat out here in the rain until I was sick, but it seemed that I was the only one who wanted to do something that ridiculous. That and Emily would be upset with me if I got my bandages soaked.

"Sure." I said, closing my sketch book before she or Jared could see the picture I was drawing. No one needed to be plagued by these dark thoughts except for myself. I could be as morbid and bitter as I wanted to when I was alone. Though, being on my own wasn't something I got to experience regularly since the accident. I was one pissed off little puppy.

Jared wheeled me across the yard and I fought back the urge to frown. Kim trailed along at his side, a small smile on her lips and a swing to her arms. She looked ridiculously cheerful and I knew I looked miserable. Jacob was lounging casually on the porch swing when we made it up to the house. His eyes followed us as Jared scooped me up into his arms to carry me up the steps. Jake rose to his full height and I was reminded of how very small I was compared to the guys around here.

"I'll take her Jared." The man holding me hesitated for a moment, not sure what Sam would say about me being alone in Jake's presence, but he set me down in Jake's arms and he and Kim left. Jake set me down on the porch swing and settled down beside me. I was suddenly very alone with him.

"You've been drawing again." He stated, taking note of my sketch pad and pencil case. I nodded and fiddled with a tear on my book. I wanted to draw some more, but I didn't want him to see what I had drawn already. "Can I watch you draw?" He asked softly. I chewed on my lower lip and thought about it. I wasn't sure that I wanted him to know about all the madness going on in my heart. He had been such a huge part about my recent heart ache; would he blame Embry alone, or would he take ownership for the part he had played?

"I guess." I finally conceded, flipping open my book to a fresh page. I'm sure he saw some of the previous drawings, but he didn't make a comment about them. I opened my pencil case and pulled out a piece of charcoal. I thought about what I wanted to draw, but came up blank. I didn't know what I would feel comfortable drawing with Jake looking over my shoulder.

"Can you draw something for me?" He asked. I blinked and turned to look at him. I met his brown eyes and momentarily forgot how to think. When I could breath again, I nodded slightly. I hadn't been this overwhelmed by his presence since... well, last night.

"What do you want me to draw?" I asked cautiously, almost afraid of his answer. I had always found him to be beautiful, but I was unexpectedly raw and open, waiting for him to take advantage of my newfound attraction. One of his large hands settled on my knee as he leaned closer to me. I was suddenly choking on the air; it was too thick to breathe and I couldn't draw a breath.

"Relax." He whispered as the skies opened up and began pouring down. My brain felt foggy and I couldn't fight it off. I shook my head sharply, but he grabbed my chin lightly and stilled the movement. "God, Auggie." His voice was gruff and low and did funny things to my body. He leaned in closer and then his lips were pressed against mine. Those soft, thick lips caressed mine until I was whimpering, pleading for him to hold me. He scooped me up into his lap and my book fell to the floor, along with my pencils. He drank in my misery and I breathed in his love.

Because that's what he offered me. Love.

I was drowning in his love and floating on the surface of all that emotion at the same time. He was a life preserver in a storm of his own making. My body molded itself against his and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him harder. I needed him like I had never needed anything before. I wanted to be consumed by the power of his love and finally be free of the agony that had settled into my heart when Embry had left me. Oh God, Embry. I abruptly pulled away from his passionate kisses, but I was still in his arms. His hands pulled my hips against his and I was overwhelmed by the evidence of his passion. I had to get out of his arms, I needed to get away.

"Auggie." His mumbled my name as he pressed hot kisses against my neck. Part of me wanted him to release me, but another part of me wanted him to pull me closer. I decided to pull away when his hands started questing beneath my t-shirt.

"Stop." I whispered, gasping for breath. He pressed me harder against his body and pain flared up in my ribs. I let out a cry and my muscles spasmed in my chest. He pulled back immediately and stared at me with passion fogged eyes. If I wasn't in pain from my ribs, I probably would've been pleased that I baffled him just as much as he baffled me.

"I'm sorry. I hurt you." His broad hands stroked my wrapped rib cage gently, trying to soothe the pain from the muscles so the spasms would stop. Surprisingly, it was helpful. I had expected those hands to be ungainly, to cause pain instead of relieve it, but he was so careful and so sweet, each caress relaxed the muscles more and more until I could breathe easy and rest against his chest.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Auggie. I just got carried away." He had his hand resting on the back of my head, running his fingers through my hair. I was so comfortable there and I was afraid that if I moved away, the pain would come back. "Don't you know what you do to me?" He asked rhetorically. I sighed against his neck, my breath blowing across his russet colored skin. He kissed the top of my head before resting his cheek against me. "You make me so uncoordinated."

"It's okay, you do the same to me." I hadn't really intended to confess that to him, but there was something about the softness of the expression on his face and the vulnerability in his eyes. I couldn't disguise how I felt and I wasn't going to try. "We shouldn't have done that." I admitted, feeling guilty about that moment of weakness.

"Do you regret it?" He asked, voice veiling the uncertainty he had to be experiencing. I thought long and hard about my answer, because the last thing I wanted to do was shut him down completely when he had been so kind and considerate to take care of me. He was kind of me even when I was dating Embry. But my heart was still so attached to my ex-boyfriend, I couldn't get into another relationship so soon. It would be unhealthy.

"No," I finally responded, "But that doesn't mean it was right either." He tensed up, so I pulled back so I could see his face, "Jake, I'm just leaving a relationship. It's too soon for me to be in another." He pressed a hand to my cheek and I became aware of the rain pouring down around the porch. We were sheltered against the storm, but it was still cold outside.

"We don't have to have a relationship. But I want to be in your life August." He kissed me unexpectedly and pulled back just as quickly. "I _need _to be in your life." He admitted. There was such a craving in his voice, as though another moment without me would kill him. I held the hand that was resting on my cheek and slowly pulled it away.

"I just don't think we can be only friends. I think we'll both be tempted to do things that I'm not ready to do. I need to be alone." I was near tears and I wasn't sure I could hold them back. He shook his head and wrapped me in his arms firmly.

"The last thing you need right now is to be left alone." I wanted to interject, but he continued speaking without giving me the opportunity, "I know what it's like to have your heart broken. To have your feelings slammed in your face and be rejected as though you aren't even a significant person in someone's life." His voice was choked with past emotion and I was conflicted between holding him closer and having him let me go, "It shatters you. What you want is to be alone, but what you need is the support of people who will love you regardless."

"I'm too bitter. Too broken." I mumbled, finally giving in to those tears that I had been fighting back for days. How could one event tear me apart so completely? Did Embry even have an inkling of how broken I had become?

"No you're not. You are beautiful in every way and I will stay by your side until the end of my days." It was dramatic, but it was wonderful. I felt so secure with him when he wasn't trying to jump my bones. Here he was, pouring out his heart and this time, I was ready to receive his unconditional love. I didn't know why he cared so much, but he was right about me needing someone to love me. I needed to be held and cared for; if he was willing, then so was I.

"Thank you Jake. Thank you for everything."


	18. Chapter 18

The following week, I was getting around on my own two feet. I think everyone concerned was glad that I no longer had to rely on other people to be mobile, and not requiring the help of other girls to take showers was appreciated. My freedom had been restored, so I took full advantage of it. I went outside more often, spent hours on the beach drawing the waves as they danced on the sand, and most of all, I spent time with Jake in the woods.

The first few times we had started hanging out together, temptation had been more than we could handle and we had ended up in morally comprising situations. Well, I didn't think that he concerned them pushing limits, but on my part, I was much more conservative. Ending up wrapped around somebody's body with my shirt off was a bit more than I was willing to do. So we settled on something less enticing. I would wear more clothing than normal (jackets over my shirt sleeved t-shirts and jeans) and he would shift into wolf form. It was nice being able to linger in his presence without the temptation to kiss him until my lips were sore and bruised.

Today, I was sitting in a field of flowers that I had found in the forest. It was one of those rare days in La Push when the sun was truly shining, warming you down to the bones. I had laid down a quilt on the ground so that I could lay in comfort. I spread out my arms and legs and stretched as much as I could. My ribs were still extremely tender, but I could stretch and move to almost full capacity. It was an immense relief. I rolled over and propped myself up my elbows so I could read my book. Balto/Jake scooted closer to me on the blanket in his massive wolf form and nudged me with his nose. I chuckled at the press of his wet nose against my cheek, and pushed him away playfully.

"Cut it out Balto." He pressed his nose against my cheek again and I lightly tapped his nose with my hand. "Seriously, how old are you, three?" I teased. He huffed in a fashion that I had come to realize was his wolf version of laughter. I finally abandoned my book when he bumped it out of my hands. I turned towards him and buried my hands in his fur as I tried to wrestle him off the blanket. He was, of course, much stronger than I and it really wasn't a competition, but I tried nonetheless.

We rolled around in the flowers until my clothing and his fur was dusted in petals and pollen. I was laughing heartily as he rolled around like the dog he looked like. He hopped to his feet and barked at me, a smile in his eyes. His tail was wagging side to side and he crouched like he was going to pounce me. He suddenly went still, like that day in the kitchen between himself and Colin. His ears perked up like he was listening intently. I waited impatiently, my heart pounding in my chest, wondering what could cause him to have such undivided attention.

He leaped over my head and into the brush. My first impulse was to follow him, to see what was going on and what he had heard, but I knew that the last thing that he would want me to do would be following after him. So I stood up in the flowers and waited for him to return. Well, waiting with the hope that he would return. He wouldn't leave me in the field without telling me anything, would he?

"August." I gasped at his sudden reappearance. I had been so lost in my thoughts that when he did actually show up, I wasn't expecting it.

"Jake." I said his name with a sharp exhale. He came up to me, dressed only in a pair of cut off jeans, and grabbed my left hand. He started pulling me through the woods, heading back towards the house. I stumbled behind him clumsily as we moved swiftly through the thick forest. "Jake, what's going on?" I asked, pleading for some information.

"Just c'mon." He didn't bother with explaining what was going on, just continued to pull me urgently. When I tripped on an upraised root, he swept me up into his arms and started running. The wind and branches were wipping through my hair, strands catching on the vines. When I cried out in pain, he merely tucked my head against his shoulder and ran faster.

We emerged from the forest abruptly. He ran straight up to the Uley's house where he met Billy on the porch and deposited me into Embry's outstretched arms. I immediately started fighting his grasp; the last thing I wanted was to be in the arms of my ex boyfriend. I kicked and wiggled until my ribs were on fire from my ministrations, but he steadfastly held me until I stopped from mere exhaustion. Jake finished whispering to his father and turned to leave.

"Jake!" I exlaimed, eyes wide. He turned back to me briefly and started heading towards the woods again at a fast jog. "Jake please! What's going on? Jake!" He ignored me, darting into the woods where I knew he would shift and be long gone. "Where's he going? What's happening?" I demanded of the man stubbornly holding on to me. I scowled at Embry as he carried me into the house. He set me down on the couch and I hopped to my feet. I tried to head back outside, but he refused to let me pass.

"Just stay here." He commanded. I slapped at his hands that held me back from going outside.

"Tell me what's going on Embry. Why the hell did Jake leave?" I was furious and concerned. I just wanted to know what was going on with the only person who had managed to truly offer me comfort. I screamed in anger and began to pace the room.

"Take a deep breath ma chère. Ain't nothin' we can do but sit here an' wait." I heard Emma's words, but I was way too restless to sit down, or even relax at this point. Jackson came up next to her and wrapped an arm around her smaller form. Beside me, Embry stiffened almost imperceptibly. I cast him a dark, satisfied look before resuming my track around the room.

"You're gonna wear holes in the floor." Jackson said nondescriptly. I knew he was trying to make light of the situation, but I wasn't in a mood to hear it. I wanted Jake home, now.

"Maybe I'd stop if _someone_ would just talk to me." I reported scathingly. Embry didn't even flinch; merely looked at me with those deep brown eyes that haunted me. I couldn't hold his gaze, so I turned away and headed upstairs. "Let me know when Jake's back." I demanded as I climbed the stairs. I couldn't remain in their presences any longer. I needed to be alone.

I shut the door to my bedroom with finality. I ran my hands through my tousled hair and got caught on a twig. I scowled at myself in the mirror and starting plucking pieces of nature out of the mess. I sighed in exasperation as bits of branches refused to be removed. When I finally decided that I had gotten all of the big pieces, I settled on the idea of a shower. I was covered in dirt and petals and other various things that I wanted to wash off. I grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the hall bath. I pulled a towel out of the closet and set it on the closed toilet seat. Maybe I would feel better after a shower.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

I was sitting on my bed after my shower, drying my hair with a towel when Emily came upstairs. Her black hair was tied back in a braid and she was wearing a pair of jeans with a flower print shirt. I scowled at her and turned away, half wishing she would leave me be. She sat down on the bed beside me and regarded me with a sympathetic look.

"I know you're upset August. But you must understand," She started explaining their behavior, but I didn't want to hear it.

"Stop Emily. Please, just... stop." I wanted to scream at everyone who tried to treat me with sympathy. They couldn't really grasp what was going on in my head, because even I wasn't sure how I felt or what I was thinking. I wanted to be left alone, but Jake's words from a week ago came back to echo in my head.

_"What you want is to be alone, but what you need is the support of people who will love you regardless." _His words held weight in my head. I could almost feel his presence next to me, the sensory memory was so strong. I opened eyes that were suddenly swimming with tears and looked at my cousin's fiancee.

"How do you do this?" I asked, voice low. My voice was thick with unshed tears and my throat felt tight from the pent up emotion. She smiled softly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. She pulled me against her side and offered her warmth.

"I just believe in them. I believe that they will come back." Her words, though simple, were wise. "If I lose faith in them, they lose faith in themselves. Sam will return to me, he always does." She wrapped her arms around me completely and hugged me tight as I shed the tears I had been struggling to hold back. "Just believe in him August. Jake loves you. He _will _come back."

I cried in her arms until my eyes went dry. And then she gently eased me down on the bed and I felt asleep, longing for my wolf to come home.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

It was dark in my room when I awoke. The bathroom light was on and I could see the light shine through my open door. My wet hair was tangled around my head, so I brushed it aside as I sat up. I looked at the clock and realized that I had been asleep for a few hours. Afternoon had come and gone, early evening was now settling in. The towel I had been using to dry my hair was no longer there, so I silently thanked Emily, who was no longer in my room. I went to my mirror and brushed out my hair to distract myself from the thoughts that were echoing in my head. I would find out if the boys were home yet soon enough, but I wanted to look like a human before I went downstairs. Silly things like that were important to me.

When I finally went downstairs, the living room and kitchen were empty. A few small lamps were on so the house wasn't dark, but no one was around. I wondered where Emily and the others had gone off to. I shuffled my way to one of the windows out onto the porch and glanced around the yard. It was empty. An eery feeling was now settling in as I continued to search the house.

"Emily?" I said her name aloud, hoping it would conjure her presence. "Emma?" No one responded. I was truly becoming worried. Why would everyone leave me alone in the house without notice? I fought back my fear and finally opened up the front door. I stepped out onto the porch, thinking that I could see more once I was outside than if I was inside.

"Auggie?" I jumped and shrieked with fright. Colin blinked at my unexpected response. I turned to look at him, a hand pressed to my chest over my heart.

"Colin." I said his name like a prayer. I was glad to not be the only one around. He came up to me and hugged me reassuringly when I admitted that I was worried about where everyone had gone off to.

"Sorry about that. A few of them went down to the beach to celebrate, and Emily didn't want to wake you up. So I stuck behind to make sure you wouldn't be alone." I acknowledged his words with a nod of the head. They had gone down to the beach to celebrate without me? Why would they leave and not say anything?

"Celebrate?" I asked instead of demanding why everyone would just up and leave me, not thinking that maybe I wanted to be a part of the group and see with my own eyes that the wolf pack was fine. Colin stepped back to lean against the door frame.

"Yeah. A few blood suckers crossed over into our territory, so we chased 'em down and well, you know." I nodded at him, knowing exactly what they did to vampires that trespassed. Many questions bubbled to the surface of my mind, but there was only one I needed to ask at that moment.

"Where's Jake?" A few more questions rose as that one was asked. Was he okay? Did he get hurt? Why isn't he here with me? Doesn't he love me? Doesn't he care? I swatted at my inner wimp and waited patiently for Colin to answer. The 14 year old shook his head at me before answering.

"He's on patrol, making sure that we didn't miss anything. Embry's with him." The thought of Embry and Jacob patrolling together after all the drama that had happened almost made me want to giggle. I couldn't imagine them working together without some one getting bloodied. I smiled at the thought and took a seat on the porch swing. It was a cold night, so I tucked my feet beneath me and curled up as well as I could.

"Here." Colin said as he offered himself as warmth. I was hesitant to curl up with him as he sat down, especially considering his previous attraction to me, but I was cold and he was warm and I was not ready to go back in the house yet. So I leaned in to his body and let his natural warmth chase the chill from my bones. We sat there for a long time, waiting for Jacob to return. When they finally came walking up to the house, I jumped to my feet and raced towards his half naked figure. I tripped on my own feet just before I reached him and gasped as he caught me.

"Klutz." Jake mumbled as he scooped me up into his arms, pulling me as close to his body as possible. I smiled in relief and wrapped my arms around his neck. I pressed my face to his neck and breathed his welcoming scent in. When had Jake started feeling like home?

"Don't you ever do that again." I commanded, tears jumping to my eyes as I remembered the desolation that had filled me at his absence. He raised an eyebrow and lightly tickled my side.

"What? Catch you when you trip? If you say so..." He teased, knowing what I meant, but disregarding it. I slapped his chest lightly and turned his face to meet my eyes.

"Please Jake. It killed me not knowing where you were or what was happening." I bit my lower lip and stared at him, vulnerable. He kissed me softly and stroked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't stick around earlier. I needed to go. The pack needed me." I shook my head and pressed my face to his neck again. Only he could cause such feelings in my heart. Only he could take me just as quickly from distress to eustress to distress again. I felt like I was on a roller coaster of emotions.

"Whatever. Just stay with me now." He took my words to heart and carried me into the house. We went straight up the stairs to my room, where we ended up curled in each other's arms on my bed. His presence was the greatest comfort I had ever experienced.

"Warm enough?" He asked me. I raised an eyebrow at him. Considering he was a walking furnace, it was a laugh that he even bothered to ask me that. He smiled at me and kissed me again. His kisses were becoming like a drug to me. Each one took me so high, but when he was gone, I craved him.

"When did I start relying on you so much?" I asked rhetorically. He studied my face with cautious eyes before answering very honestly.

"I think you've relied on me all along, you just didn't know it." I wanted to deny his words at first, because I had always felt like a self sufficient person who could stand on their own. In fact, being individual was one of the things that I was known for. No one ever wondered if I would be okay if I was on my own, because I was more than capable and willing to take care of myself. I hated receiving help when I hadn't asked for it and I very rarely did ask for help. But I acknowledged that I had needed Jake all along, because my life had been hectic and uncontrolled before him.

Initially, I had travelled the U.S., looking for somewhere to belong because I never felt at peace in La Push. Times had been changing and I hadn't seen a place where I could find home. No one had really noticed the troubles that I was going through inside because of Sam's situation with Emily and Leah. When I had found Emma and Jackson, they were the first people who had made me feel welcome since I was very young. They took me in without question, and treated me like I was family. But there was always some distant thought tickling the back of my mind saying, 'you're alone, you'll always be alone.' It was a miserable thought, but I had accepted it like it was truth.

Even when I came home to La Push, there was always something missing. Embry had seemed like the perfect person to fill that empty space. He was fun loving and friendly, and it helped that he was my childhood crush. There was no chance that I was going to turn down someone who had made my life so brilliant and bright. Jake hadn't even figured into the picture until he had stated his interest. That had thrown me for a loop, but it had all worked out in the end, hadn't it? He had filled that gap in my heart; filled me so completely in fact, that it was like I had never been without him.

"You're thinking too hard." He declared, peppering kisses across my face. I laughed lightly and pushed him away so I could speak to him without interruption.

"I'm just finally thinking clearly. I've felt like I've been living in a fog for so long, but I can see through it now." I felt like I was waking up from that sleep that had held me down previously. I could see with clearer eyes, feel with a stronger heart, think with a more intelligent mind. "I've been walking without looking where I was going and I didn't even know it. You woke me up Jake. Why didn't I see this all before?"

"See what?" He asked, suddenly serious. I knew what was going through his mind and I wanted to reassure him.

"You're the one." Three simple words, but they changed him. That depressing look in his eyes evaporated in favor of a light that swept through. I could see his love for me echoing in him until it was spilling from his lips.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing my deeply in the next moment. I grabbed him tightly and reciprocated. There was no where in the world that I would rather be than in his arms.


	19. Chapter 19

_I was dreaming, I knew it, but waking up wasn't what I wanted to do. The memory was an old one; it had been a long time since I thought about my mother. I was young, maybe a few months over three. She was getting ready to go on a date with dad; one of their many attempts to fix their broken relationship. She was touching up her make up in the bathroom. Her long black hair was tied into an intricate braid and she was wearing one of her best dresses. She spritzed on her favorite perfume and smiled at me. She opened her mouth and said,_

"_**We were wanna be rebels, who didn't have a clue, with our rock 'n roll t-shirts and our typically bad attitudes." **_Kenny Chesney's "Rebels" came out of her mouth, waking me from the dream. I automatically reached towards my side table where my phone sat while I slept, but my arm was blocked by the presence of a warm body. Considering that there wasn't normally another person in my bed, I cracked open my eyes and stared at the broad, bare back next to me. My ringtone was still going, but I was more interested in the person laying beside me in bed.

"Gonna turn that off?" Jake's grumbling voice was deep and slow with sleep. I smiled at his naked back and leaned forward to wrap my arms around him. I found him to be a lot more interesting than the person calling my cell phone. The phone finally stopped ringing and silence fell around us. "G'morning." He mumbled under his breath, flipping over so he could face me. His hair was sleep tousled and his body was warm.

"Bonjour." I whispered in french; one of the many quirks I had picked up from Emma. He leaned forward slowly and kissed me deeply. His arms came up to wrap around my limp form and I wrapped my arms around him in return. Our bodies had practically molded together from those sweet kisses when someone knocked on the door.

I abruptly pulled away from him and rolled out of bed. I was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, but I didn't want to give anybody the wrong idea about what Jake and I had been doing last night by putting on a robe. I quickly stretched out the kinks in my back and went to the door. I opened it up to find Sam at my door, an odd expression on his face. My cousin glanced into my room without a word and raised an eyebrow. Jake was sitting at the edge of the bed with his legs hanging over onto the floor. I gave him an apologetic smile and fought back the urge to squirm.

"Um, hi." I chuckled nervously, feeling awkward standing there in front of my cousin. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, wishing he would say something or leave. Mostly wishing he would leave. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Family meeting, twenty minutes, kitchen." It was brief, but efficient. He turned around and left without another word. I chewed my bottom lip nervously and turned to look back at Jake. He was smiling at me with an amused expression in his eyes.

"Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" He asked, a joking tone in his voice. I blushed furiously as the realization hit me. We looked properly disheveled and Jake had spent the night in my bedroom; oh yeah, Sam was definitely jumping to conclusions.

"I gotta take a shower." I shook my head with a sigh and started rummaging through my drawers. "What to wear, what to wear?" I murmured under my breath, thinking out loud. Jake came up beside me and started pawing through my under garments. I slapped his hand when he picked up my red and black lace bra and made a sound that was very similar to a whimper.

"Hey, you asked." He said, by way of excuse. I scowled at him before tucking the bra and it's matching panties in my growing stack of clothing. He grinned at me with a dark, hungry look in his eyes. I blushed again, feeling suddenly revealed as though he could see straight into my mind and watch the indelicate thoughts floating around in my head. Okay, I didn't mean to tease; it was my favorite bra and panty set. Honestly! I grabbed my clothing and darted into the bathroom before I could dig myself any deeper into the hole.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Fresh out of the shower, I made my way down to the kitchen. My hair was still wet, so I kept it wrapped in a towel. I was wearing one of my only pair of jean shorts and a black, short sleeved shirt that had a deep v-neck and was rather complimentary to my figure. The atmosphere in the kitchen was really tense when I entered. Sam was leaning against the counter, looking serious and solemn as usual. Jake was also standing, but he was up against the counter that overlooked into the living room. I walked in and had a seat at the table after grabbing myself a soda from the fridge. My cousin cleared his throat before speaking.

"I'm not one to tell people how to live their lives," I already didn't like where this conversation was going. "But in my house, I expect you to abide by my rules."

"Sam," Jake tried to interrupt, to derail his train of thought, but my cousin was on a mission.

"Just listen. Whatever you get up to on your own time is your business," I knew that my whole face must be flaming red. I could not believe I was receiving _the talk _from my own cousin! "Though, I expect you to treat August with respect." Jake gave Sam a look that said, 'well, duh!'

"Sam, this is really unecessary." I tried to explain it to him, but he was on a roll. He merely gave me a hard look and held up his hand as if to tell me to hush.

"I just want this to be clear, you two. There will be no sex under this roof." If my face wasn't red before, it sure as hell was now. I put my hands over my face and fought the urge to scream. I wanted to disappear into the table; maybe if I pretended really hard, he wouldn't talk about this anymore.

"Sam!" Jake raised his voice and finally got my cousin's attention. The pack leader looked at him with that skeptical raised eyebrow. "August and I aren't doing anything like... _that. _We just fell asleep, that's all. _Nothing happened." _The emphasis he placed on those words seemed to reassure Sam, but he remained adamant.

"Whether you've had sex or not, the rule stands." There he went, using that word again. "Just be careful. If you need protection, let me know." Okay, I was done. I couldn't stay here any longer.

"Lalalalalalalala! I'm not listening!" I ran out of the room with my hands over my ears. If only I could erase that entire scene from my memory. Would someone _please _invent brain bleach? I wasn't sure there was anything in the world strong enough to erase the memory of my cousin saying the word _sex _or _protection _when referring to myself and Jacob. Could my life get anymore awkward?

"Hey Auggie, was he good?" Rachel asked in a lascivious tone of voice. I blushed madly and bolted from the house. I could not bear one more reference to sex. I simply could not!

I kept running until the house was far behind me and I was deep within the woods. I was absolutely mortified. I was old enough to know that wearing protection when having sex was mandatory unless you wanted kids, and I definitely knew that having sex in my cousin's house would be disrespectful. Why everyone assumed I didn't have this information was infuriating, but maybe when my skin didn't flush red when thinking about it I would head back inside. In the mean time, I was going to remain outside and pretend like I hadn't just suffered the single most embarrassing moment of my life.

"Is the thought of having sex with me that horrifying?" I whirled around to look at Jacob, who had followed me out, with a frown. What in the blue moon was he talking about?

"Say what?" Oh boy, I was really going for the intelligent, educated individual award, wasn't I? "What are you talking about? Who said I was horrified at the idea of having... you know... with you?" There we go, I was starting to sound like the person I thought I was on the inside. You know, the childish one who was still under the misconception that sex was a bad word.

"When Sam started talking about sex and contraceptives, you seemed so horrified that anybody would think you were willing to take that step in our relationship." He sounded bitter, rather upset really. I shook my head and apologized.

"No Jake, that's not it." I looked around, trying to find inspiration so the words would flow better. "I just, I was so mortified that anyone had jumped to that conclusion when it's not even a thought on my mind! I was so embarrassed." I was blushing again, so I covered my face and turned away from him. I didn't want him or anyone else to know how much this was affecting me.

"Not even a thought on your mind, huh?" This thought seemed to upset him, so I peeked through my fingers to meet his gaze. He had moved up next to me when I had closed my eyes, so I was momentarily startled to see him so close to me. He pulled my hands away from my face so he could kiss me. As usual, his lips were soft against mine and his kiss gentle. What had I done to deserve someone so considerate as Jake?

"Well, it's just not something I think about." I started chewing on my lower lip as soon as he pulled away. His hand rose up to pluck my lip from between my teeth.

"You're gonna bruise your lip if you keep gnawing on it like that." He suddenly leaned in and nipped my lip. I jumped backwards in surprise and put my hand to my lips.

"What in the world, Jake?" He stared hard at the ground before meeting my eyes again. He stepped forward and held me against his body, so were secure in each other's grasps.

"It doesn't even cross your mind?" He asked, voice soft. I had no clue what he was talking about. Something about kisses and bit lips makes you forget important things like that. When our previous conversation about sex came back to me, I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"No, it really doesn't. I'm gonna guess that it's more of a popular theme in your mind?" I couldn't keep the unpleasant sarcasm out of my voice. Part of me was very offended that this was such a big deal to him, but another part of me didn't want to lose him because of my own reluctance and embarrassment.

Unwanted thoughts started popping into my head. Would he expect me to have sex with him sometime soon? Was sex the next step in our relationship in his mind? Would he break up with me if I told him I wasn't interested? Would it break his heart if I told him that I absolutely refused? What would he think if I told him the truth...?

"I'm going to love you regardless of whether we have sex or not, Auggie, so you can put that thought out of your mind." I was beginning to think that he was telepathetic. "I guess I just assumed that, well, that it would be a natural progression of our relationship. That one day we'd just decide we were ready." His dark eyes met mine and he watched me with introspective eyes. "But the more I listen to your body language, the more I realize that you're already pushing your limits." I took in a breath sharply, trying to hide how very deep that comment had cut.

"I don't know where you got that idea." I said in a low voice, trying to avoid the topic altogether. Unfortunately for me, Jake was not so willing to let it slide away. Apparently, he wanted to air the dirty laundry.

"No lies, no half truths. Just tell me August. Am I pushing your limits? And if so, do I need to take a step back in this relationship?" His words were so honest, so earnest. The least I could do was to be up front with what was going on in my mind. To hide what was going on would be wrong in the fact of such heart ache.

"Yeah. I guess we've been pushing my boundaries." I said we, because it takes two to tango. To put all the blame on him wouldn't be right, because I had been there with him all along. "To be honest, I don't even know when we crossed over from just friends to... whatever we are now." How sad was it that I was unwilling to put a name to our relationship. I didn't deserve someone like him. Why did he put up with me?

"I don't think there was ever an exact moment we started... whatever we are, but we sort of became it nevertheless." All of the sort ofs and I don't knows were really starting to weigh me down. How could we have engaged in a relationship, without any defined moments? "Whatever you want to call us, if we're pushing your boundaries, that means we have different expectations and morals in this relationship. We have to talk."

"Isn't that what we're doing right now? Talking?" I really didn't want to talk about it, but even I, in all of my denying ways, knew that a conversation was desperately required. If we didn't talk it out now, when would we do it? Could we have a successful relationship if we continued to dance around every topic like this one?

"You know what I mean." Yeah, I knew exactly what he meant. "So where do you draw the line? At what point have I gone too far?" I sighed deeply and had a seat on the ground where I could lean against a tree. I really needed to think this answer out, because I needed to be honest with both of us. What points in our intimate moments had caused me to panic?

"No more groping." I declared at last. "I've never felt completely comfortable being touched... like that. It's just too much." I felt better now that I had gotten that off my chest. It was a revelation to me that I had not said something before this moment. "And I'd really prefer that we not make out when laying down, it just opens up too many possibilities." And also caused too many wicked thoughts in one randy boy's mind.

"Okay. No more groping, no making out while laying down. Got it." He paused for a moment, thinking over the limits I had just laid down. "What do you count as groping? Do we have a safe zone?" I had never thought that I would be discussing places on my body that a person could or could not touch. Odd.

"No boobs, no butt, etc. Just avoid those areas that are considered private and you should be fine." I had my own moment to pause and think. "What about you? Any place I should avoid?" I was almost afraid to ask the question, but I had the feeling that it was important to know how far he was willing to go too.

"You can touch me wherever you want to, whenever you want to." My eyes went wide. Now that was an open answer. Anywhere, anywhen? Wow. "But keep in mind, the more you touch me, the more I'll want to touch you." Okay, that made sense. Play with fire and you get burned.

"Okay. I'm glad that we've got this all settled out. Can we avoid awkward conversations from now on?" I asked, hoping that he would say yes. I was really not a big fan of deep, serious conversations. I would rather remain sarcastic and witty, without all of those relationship type things that caused fights.

"I just have one more question." I nodded, letting him ask what was on his mind. "Who crossed the line?" His question was so open ended, that I could've answered it any way I pleased. Thinking about what happened didn't bring me joy, and I didn't want to take a trip down memory lane, but I felt that would do him a disservice. I mean, there was no way in hell that I wanted to answer this question, but to keep the truth from him would be dishonest. Why did it always come down to being honest or keeping it to myself?

"He was just some stranger in a club. I was partying hard in a joint that really didn't care if you were underage or not. You could get your drinks if you knew how to work your stuff. Up until that night, I knew how to work my stuff really well." I took a deep breath and plowed on. "He came up to me and we started dancing. I didn't even know his name. He offered to buy me a drink and I thought, 'why not?' He slipped something into my drink when I looked away, because the next thing I knew, I was lying in the alley behind the club missing my panties, bruises on my body and blood on my thighs."

Tears were streaming down my face, but I didn't let Jake hold me. This was the hardest memory for me to recall because I regretted my actions so severely, I wasn't sure I could ever forgive myself. I had crossed my own lines, I had trusted a complete stranger to not hurt me, and the consequence was my own damn fault. My aunt and uncle had raised me better than that, but I had gone out with every intention of doing all the things they had warned me not to do. I was lucky that it hadn't been worse. He could've easily hurt me worse, abducted me or killed me. I had gotten off easy. All that I lost that night was my innocence.

I finally dared to take a look at Jake and was momentarily frightened by what I saw. His entire body was shaking with fury. He had his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his hands clenched into fists at his side. He took a deep breath and I watched it calm him down enough for him to look at me too. I met his gaze with watery eyes and stepped into his arms. I think we both wanted to know I was going to be okay. Because really, I had never completely recovered from the rape. A part me would always be afraid of the threat that guys presented.

"It's okay Jake. Jackson and Emma found me when I didn't show up at the entrance at our meeting time. They took care of me and everything was better again." My words were meant to be reassuring, so why were they falling flat now?

"I want to take care of you, August." He admitted, a wounded look in his eyes. "One day, I want to prove to you that there is more to intimate touch than that night." He pressed the sweetest kiss to my forehead and I fell in love with him all over again.

"Thank you Jake. You're always good to me, even when I don't deserve it." He shook his head and kissed me hard.

"You're a fool to think you don't deserve to be loved." I smiled at him indulgently, we could discuss my self esteem issues another day. "Speaking of love, we need to clarify what's going on between us." I couldn't agree more.

"Okay. Then what are we?" Let's leave all the big decisions to him. He rolled his eyes at me.

"We should be boyfriend and girlfriend." I nodded, but with a frown on my face. "What?" He asked, concerned about my frown.

"We can't be boyfriend and girlfriend." I declared.

"Why not?" I think he was more confused than he needed to be. Surely he knew by now that I just enjoyed yanking his chain.

"You never officially asked me out. You can't go out with someone if they don't ask you out." He rolled his eyes again and I wondered that if he rolled them enough times, would they roll straight out of is head? Morbid and probably not possible.

"Well then, let me fix that." He dropped down to one knee in front of me and I panicked.

"I didn't say propose!" He laughed heartily at the look on my face and grasped my hands in his. I was momentarily stunned by how small my hands seemed compared to his.

"Justice Augustina Hewitt-Uley," I scowled so deeply, he laughed before editing his question, "August, I'm so in love with you that I'm drowning. Will you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?" I played at it being a harder question to answer than it was. He actually blanched when I didn't respond promptly. I giggled at his expression and color returned to his face.

"Yes, you silly boy. What, did you really expect me to say no?" He looked like he was going to nod, so I stopped him with a passionate kiss. "Jake, you may be the most intelligent boy in La Push, but sometimes you aren't very smart."

"I love you." He whispered against my lips. I smiled into our kiss and whispered back,

"I love you too."


	20. Chapter 20

Weeks later, Jake and myself were enjoying one of those rare sunny days. Our new relationship was still exhilerating and enjoyable. My previous experiences with guys told me that we would soon have a disruptive arguement that would ruin everything, but he was still good to me. In fact, he was practically perfect. He obeyed my boundaries and never pushed the limits. In return, I was nice enough to not play with him, so as to not tempt him to go farther than I wanted. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

"August, can I talk to you for a sec?" I lifted my head from my engrossing book and looked up at Rachel, who was standing beside myself and Jacob. I nodded my head in acknowledgement and removed myself from my boyfriend's lap. He snatched my book from my hands and went back to reading it; he had been reading over my shoulder I realized with a giggle.

I followed Rachel away from our cozy little spot until we were out of sight and out of hearing of any possible curious wolves. She paced around in a circle for a moment before looking at me with the most conflicted look I had ever seen. Her expression made it appear as though she was almost in pain, so I automatically stepped forward to pull her into a hug. She put a hand out to stop me however, and a determined look fell across her face.

"If you hug me now, I won't be able to tell you this. So please, just listen for a minute." I remained quiet, giving her the time and opportunity to express what was plaguing her. She shifted from foot to foot, thoughts flicking through her mind as she tried to find a way to tell me what was going on. Finally, she looked at me with steely resolve and confessed what was on her heart.

"I'm pregnant." Life seemed to hold its breath in that moment. I then smiled broadly and threw my arms around her.

"Congratulations! How long have you known?" She looked disgruntled by my enthusiasm, which caused me to rethink my response.

"Long enough to know that it's not Paul's." Oh shit. My eyes went wide and I stopped my little celebration dance. Talk about a kink in a plan. I swallowed hard and rubbed my face with a hand before wiping my suddenly sweaty palms on my jeans.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say Paul doesn't know, does he?" She shook her head, confirming the worst. I was at a loss for words, how was I supposed to know what to do? How in the world would I keep this from slipping out? I mean, I'm good with a secret, but I told Emma _everything. _Now I had to hold something back from her and hope she didn't read it in my expression.

"I can't tell him. It'd break his heart. I don't know what to do!" She admitted, tears springing to her eyes. I gave her that hug that I had offered earlier and held her against me, tight. Who could've known that one stupid one night stand would result in this? "I've been thinking about abortion." I looked up at her, startled. Abortion, in my eyes, would always signify the murder of a child. I knew that other people thought differently, but I couldn't look past the thought that children were a gift, regardless of how they were conceived.

"Are you going to get one?" I asked, voice soft. She held her breath for a moment, and then let it out with a shake of her head. I exhaled sharply and smiled with concern. "Then what are you going to do? Your other options are adoption or keeping it. Either way, everyone's gonna figure out what's going on." She sighed.

"I know, but I couldn't get rid of the child because of my own stupid mistake. I just don't know how to break the news." I nodded in agreement.

"Well, I guess you should just take Paul aside and tell him." I advised, knowing that breaking it to him first before everyone else found out would probably avert most of the crisis.

"You're right. I'll tell him soon, but not today. Not tomorrow. I don't know when." Tears were now trickling down her face, so I hugged her again and rubbed her back.

"It's okay Rach. It will all be okay. Paul loves you, he's never going to stop loving you." I knew this to be true. When a wolf imprints, it's for better or for worse. They'll love you to the bitter end.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Later that day, Emma and I were pouring through a magazine, making catty comments about the men and critiquing the decisions of the women. We laughed hysterically when we saw a picture of Lady Gaga in more of her outlandish attire and smiled appreciatively at Gerard Butler in a suit. Overall, we were just doing one of those things that girls do when they have nothing better on their calender. We flicked through the pages, looking for something to admire or critique when Embry came in. We fell slient as he went into the kitchen to have a conversation with Sam. I was proud of myself when my heart didn't do one of those little jumps it used to make at his presence, but it did squeeze with regret as I watched him walk by and knew he wasn't mine anymore. For all of Jake's goodness and love, there was still a portion of my heart that missed my former boyfriend.

"You've got a look on your face, Gusty." I turned to my best friend with a smile, trying to shake off that painful sensation.

"It's nothing." I tried to push the situation aside, hoping that she would disregard it and move on. No such luck.

"It's something. You've still go feelings for the boy, don'tcha?" I shook my head rapidly. I did not want her to get disillusions about my character. Did she have to pry now, when he was in the next room over?

"No, no. My heart's just having difficulty letting go of its dreams. I thought we were going to get married and make babies one day, you know? But I love Jake and I wouldn't trade what we have for anything." Now that I mentioned babies, I was thinking about Rachel. Okay, it's cool, play nonchalance and continue with your conversation. Emma never has to know.

Jake and Paul came through the front door then; Paul let the porch door slam shut behind him. Looking at Paul, I thought about how he would react to finding out about Rachel and the baby. He would probably be intensely disturbed. The idea that the woman he loved, that he imprinted on going behind his back and sleeping with another man would probably drive him crazy. He would probably want to find the guy and beat the hell out of him, knowing Paul.

"You sure are looking at Jake awfully hard." Emma said teasingly. "Not thinking about new baby plans, are ya?" I blushed furiously. Why in the world must everybody bring up the sex topic with me? "Chère, is there somethin' y' not tellin' me?" I looked with my best attempt at a blank face. The look on hers told me I had failed miserably. I crumbled in my seat, trying to figure out a way to tell her about Rachel and the baby without actually telling her.

"Not really thinking of having babies, but..." I trailed off, at a loss for words. How do you express a topic without mentioning the topic? Emma's eyes went wide.

"Justice Augustina! Are you pregnant?" The sound of shattering glass was the only sound to break the suddenly overwhelming silence. I blinked at her. Where in the hell had she gotten that idea? I thought over my words; what could I have said?

"August?" My cousin was standing in the archway to the kitchen, a solemn expression on his face. Jake was standing in the kitchen, peering over the counter to look at me with the most absurd expression.

"Yeah?" I asked in return. Sam took a very deep breath and whirled towards my boyfriend. His fist flew out and slammed into Jake's jaw. Jake hit the ground from the impact and I leapt to my feet. "What the hell!" I exclaimed, darting around the couch to grab my cousin. He gave me the harshest expression I had ever seen on his face that made me take a step back.

"Gusty, ma chère," Emma took my arm and pulled me away from the four men in the kitchen and towards the couch. "You didn't answer my question." She sounded hurt. Did she honestly think I would go that far with Jake and not tell her?

"Of course I'm not pregnant!" I was indignant. Why did everyone jump to the conclusion that I must be getting up to naughty things?

"You're not?" Sam asked, one hand in Jake's hair to hold him still, the other posed to punch him. Blood was leaking from Jake's mouth, but he looked too stunned by our conversation to retaliate.

"No!" I stormed away from Emma and pushed my cousin away from Jake. He slumped to the floor, but I gave him a hand up. Jake gave me a hard look before pulling me into his arms. "You guys really need to stop jumping to conclusions." I whispered in his ear, knowing that the others could hear me. I held my boyfriend tight and wished people would just accept that we were probably the most innocent couple on the rez.

"Had me scared for a minute there." Jake whispered into my ear. I slapped his shoulder and glared at him.

"Please tell me that after our conversation you wouldn't honestly believe that I would go behind your back like that?" I asked, referencing our conversation from several weeks ago. He turned his head away and I forced him to turn back to me. "Foolish boy." I kissed him sweetly and took a step back so I could see everyone else. Emma was on the other side of the counter with a raised eyebrow.

"So if you're not pregnant, who is?" She asked, seeing through the façade I had attempted to put up a few moments ago.

"It's none of your business." I was a little brusque with her, but she's the one who had caused this whole fiasco with her unending curiosity.

"No need to be rude." She responded, a hurt expression on her face. Anger flared inside of me.

"Really? You accuse me of being pregnant, causing my boyfriend to get his face pummeled, yet you stand there and think you're blameless?" I scoffed at her, infuriated that she thought she had nothing to do with the fight. She balled up her fists at her side and gave me a hard look.

"Don't be such a bitch. Just 'cause ya boyfrien' is stupid enough t' not duck when somebody takes a swing at his pretty face!" I reached across the distance and slapped her hard across the face. I may not be a violent person often, but damn it all if I was going to sit there and let her insult Jake. She stared at me with surprise. Had she really thought I was just going to sit there and take it?

"Don't you ever say that again." I was breathing hard, tears in my eyes from my own anger. I thought the moment would just diffuse and dissolve, but Emma leaped at me and knocked me to the floor. She clawed at my bare skin and I was momentarily astounded that she thought I would scratch and slap my way through a cat fight.

I lifted my right leg so I could provide myself with motion. I pressed hard against the ground and rolled us over, my greater weight making it easier to pin her small form to the ground below me. I knelt above her and cocked back my right arm. She snapped her hand across my face, causing pain to flare immediately. I didn't wait any longer. I punched her hard across the cheek and felt her lip split and blood spray my hand. She grunted on impact and I hit her again, not waiting for her to recover. I was going in for a third strike when I was suddenly airborne. My flight was stopped abruptly when Jake caught me, which made me wonder who had pulled me away so abruptly.

I looked over at Emma's form on the kitchen floor and Embry was crouched over her, large hands pulling her into his grasp so he could protect her. He turned his gaze my way and I felt it burn with his fury. My heart pounded with a combination of rage and pain. Things had changed too much, too fast. Tears flooded my eyes and started trailing down my cheeks. Jake carried me away from the kitchen, but I wasn't done yet. I wiggled hard out of his arms when he least expected it and ran back to the kitchen where Embry had picked Emma up and set her on the counter so he could clean her up.

"I love you Emma Dubois, even if you are an ass!" I exclaimed. She looked at me through her right eye considering her left eye was swollen shut. "But I wish you would just believe me sometimes and stop asking so many fucking questions." I sobbed hard, words blurred by tears. She pushed Embry away and slid off the counter. I was leaning on the counter to remain standing because I was crying too hard to stand on my own.

"I'm sorry August. I'm so sorry." She said, voice breaking, "I am an ass and you're right. Mon Dieu, I wish you didn't pack such a painful punch though." Blood was still trickling down her chin from her split lip, but we both laughed and held each other tight. We had one messed up relationship. We sobbed together, laughing all the while, hugging each other tight.

"I'm so confused." I looked over Emma's shoulder to see the confusion on Embry's face. I squeezed her tight before exiting her embrace. She turned with me to face him, her arm tucked around my side and my arm across her shoulders.

"You don't have to understand it Embry. You just have to work with it." He raised an eyebrow before holding up the wet towel he intended to clean Emma's bloody and bruised face with. She cringed as he touched it to her lip, but didn't move away. "Sorry Emma, I didn't want to have to do that." She sighed before speaking.

"Yeah, well, I provoked you. That and let's hope we can get those scratches to stop bleeding." Her words made me lift a hand to my cheek. True to form, the scratches were still leaking blood, if slowly.

"C'mere Auggie." I let go of Emma and went to Jacob. He also had a wet cloth in his hand that he used to start wiping at the cuts.

"Paul, where are you?" Rachel's ornery voice echoed through the kitchen as she came through the front door. She looked over the counter and saw us standing there, bruised, bloody and baffled. She blinked before speaking. "What the hell happened here?" She asked, seeing the blood on our clothes, bodies and floor. I shrugged and gave her a small smile.

"Not much." I said, making Emma giggle, leaving Rachel to stand there staring at us like we were crazy.

"Gotcha." She said with a raised eyebrow. Jake started smearing an antiseptic on my cheek that made the wound burn.

"Ow, ow, ow!" I squirmed against the counter, but didn't move away. He frowned at me before speaking.

"Well, avoid getting scratched up and you won't have to go through this again." I scowled at him, but agreed. He was right, if I hadn't slapped Emma, she wouldn't have scratched me. Oh well, it's in the past. Too bad, so sad.

"So who is pregnant?" The question was entirely unexpected after that fight, especially from the mouth of Paul. I leaned over so I could look past Jake to see the other man sitting at the table, a soda in his hand and a curious expression on his face.

It was like a slow motion horror film moment. I turned to look at Rachel, who had leapt onto the counter. Her hands were curled like claws that came swinging down at my face. I abruptly released the muscles in my legs so that I collapsed down to Jake's feet. He then grabbed his sister's wrists and pulled her off the counter. Paul leapt to his feet and grabbed Rachel when Jake tossed her through the air towards his pack mate. Time resumed its normal speed when she was firmly gripped in her boyfriend's arms.

"What the hell, Rachel?" Paul demanded, holding her against him with a tight grip. She squirmed and kicked, screaming at me the whole time. I remained in a ball at Jake's feet, trying to disappear into the cabinet. My cousin stood like an imposing figure between our two groups in the middle of the kitchen. Jake leaned down and scooped me up into his arms. I stayed silent, hoping she would calm down before she dug herself into another hole.

"I trusted you, you fucking traitorous bitch!" I pretended not to hear her, ducking my head into Jake's shoulder. He carried me out of the kitchen and upstairs, where we could pretend like Rachel's anger didn't exist. It was a nice delusion; I was willing to roll with it.


	21. Chapter 21

The hole Rachel had dug herself into seemed to have no end.

After her scene in the kitchen, Paul had dragged her outside where he had forced her into confessing her secret. Of course, her confession broke his heart. He had stormed off, leaving Rachel crying on the porch. Emma and I had carried her back inside where we had given her VIP treatment until Paul returned a few hours later to apologize for his callousness. They kicked us out of the room and to be honest, I don't want to know what they did once we were gone. In the meantime however, I was mending my baffling relationship with Emma.

"Chère, y' don't have to keep naggin' on this course of thought." Emma convincingly declared. Her honey brown hair was pulled into a casual ponytail and she kept brushing her bangs out of her face. I gave her a poignant look.

"If we don't fix this now, will we ever? Or will it continue to seeth like some evil pit of anger in us both until it tears our relationship asunder?" She returned my dramatic expression with a laugh. She patted my shoulder and led me outside so we could sit on the porch swing. We rocked the swing back and forth until it was tapping the house, laughing the entire time. I was glad my cousin had reinforced this swing, because it had been there my entire life and it would be a tragedy if it broke now simply because of our enthusiasm.

"To be honest lovey, I never thought we'd have to detail the car." She turned knowing eyes my way lazily before staring at her hands. I understood her reluctance, but drama was too abundant in the pack to handle another dash of emotional bull crap. "Mais, s'il te plait, n'est pas mechant." I scowled.

"Don't be mean? Seriously? Have you ever known me to be mean?" She raised a brow, "Intentionally, that is." She shrugged her shoulders and said nothing more. "Okay, whatever. Let's just get this over with."

"How do we start?" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I guess we should start with the beginning. That's generally the best location." I bit my lip and thought back. When had our problems originated? "Fuck that, it's too far back to remember." We both laughed and stared into the woods, hoping that it could all just be shoved under the rug after all.

"I was always jealous of how easy it was for you to become friends with people." Her declaration turned my attention back to her. I swallowed hard.

"It's not easy for me to make friends." I admitted, confused over how she could possibly interpret that I was good with people.

"No, don't deny it. You have never had difficulties with getting people to love you. They are drawn to you like you're gravity or something. Everytime we've gone out somewhere together, women and men alike would find you and become instant friends with you." There was a painful undertone to her voice, as though this admittance was something she had harbored for quite some time. Considering we had been friends for several years now, it was easy to believe that this was a recurring theme in our relationship.

"Well, I was always envious of how you so easily made guys fall in love with you." She stared with mouth agape.

"What?"

"I'm serious. All you ever had to do was bat your big, brown eyes and men fell over themselves trying to please you." She shook her head.

"Non! Ce n'est pas vrai!" Her denial only incensed me further.

"Please, stop it with the french Emma. I'm not fluent, no matter how long I hang around you. Besides, it is true. Jackson isn't the only guy who fell in love with you within two seconds of meeting you."

"Chère, if you think he fell in love with me within the first two seconds of meeting him, you are sorely mistaken." I just stared at her blankly. As if I could honestly believe that he hadn't fallen for her typical flirtacious behavior and smashing good looks.

"Everyone falls in love with you a little bit. Jackson is no exception." She gave me a sad smile before staring at her hands again.

"It wasn't me he fell in love with first. We've been friends since the second grade, but that was it. Totally platonic. But God, he fell head over heels for you when we met you." My eyes went wide, but I said nothing. What could I possibly say after that? "He was enamored. Heck, when we first walked into the metro station to get our tickets to Philly, all he had to do was lay eyes on you and he was a goner." I thought back to our first meeting and fell into time.

**Flashback**

**It was two days before Christmas and I was alone. I stood on the metro's platform and watched the people passing by, waiting for the train to arrive so I could catch a ride to anywhere else. I didn't have firm plans, I just wanted to get out of Hershey. I was sick of chocolate and Christmas decorations and tourists. When the train finally came to a stop in front of me, I boarded in a rush amongst a group of other people, all of whom were strangers to me. I was squished up against a pole with a mother next to me, her hundred bags full of gifts filling whatever space there wasn't with their crinkly paper wrappings. **

**"Hey, you wanna move over here? There's a bit more room." I glanced up into the warmest blue eyes I'd ever seen and couldn't help but smile. I took the offered hand and allowed my person to be pulled over by the tall, blond man and his short, brunette companion. **

**"Bonjour. Je m'appelle Emma, il s'appelle Jackson." Bits and pieces of french from high school flitted back to me and I desperately groped at them. I remembered enough to formulate a response.**

**"Enchantee, je m'appelle August." I gave the girl a crooked smile and stuck out a hand.**

**"Pleasure to meet y' Gusty. Welcome to the metro." I laughed lightly and lifted my brown eyes up to the man named Jackson.**

**"Thanks for pulling me over. I was getting a little too well acquainted with that lady's gift bags." I smiled mischeviously, "Nothing says hello better than the corner of a paper bag in your crotch." He laughed heartily, snaring the attention briefly of the people around us. **

**"It was no problem, not a problem at all. 'M always willin' t' help a lady." He smiled at me and our friendship was sealed.**

"Y' in there Gusty?" I returned to reality and shook off the last vestiges of reminisence.

"Sorry Em, I was just thinking about that day on the metro." We shared a nostalgic smile for the memory's sake. However, her comment from a moment ago made my smile turn into a frown. "He fell in love with me that day?" I asked softly, hesitant to speak any louder for fear someone would hear from inside the house.

"Yeah. Whenever you weren't around, all he did was talk about you. "Gusty this, Gusty that..." Half drove me crazy, half made me fonder of you. O' course, even if he hadn't been so infatuated with you, we still woulda asked you to move in with us. Not like we were gonna leave you alone for the holidays, or any day thereafter."

"This feels so surreal. I never knew, and part of me still can't believe it. I don't understand it." I admitted, frustration in my voice. Emma turned to me in her seat and frowned.

"What d' y' mean, you don' understand it? You're flippin' beautiful ma chère." My look of disbelief caused her to reach over and slap me lightly on the face. "No wonder you're so quiet, you don't understand why people love you so much, do ya?"

"I'm funny?" I smiled charmingly, but Emma was unconvinced.

"Oh Gusty, you are so clueless sometimes." She sighed deeply and we went back to swinging in silence. Several minutes passed before she spoke again. "If only I could show you what you look like in my eyes."

"Or mine." The unexpected words came from Jackson, who was standing in the doorway to the house with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Jacks." I said his name quietly, on the edge of an exhalation. I felt sort of winded just looking at him. We had been friends for years, and yet Emma's confession of his admiration of myself changed my entire perspective of him. For so long, I had found him unbearably winsome, but Emma had appeared to have a claim on him that I never said anything. Where would we be today if I had just said something?

"Wasn't fair of you to tell her that Emma." My best friend had the shame to look abashed. She ducked her head and gave him an inscutable look. He shook his head at her. "Auggie, will you join me on a walk? It seems we need to have a talk as well."

"I..." My words trailed off. Did I really want to have this talk with him? Did I want to hash up all those unspoken emotions? Those painful moments where the tension between us had been so evident and yet denied? Here was my chance to purge all those days of silent admiration, to express how very in love with him I had been and possibly get that chance to experience the whirl wind romance we never got to have.

"I'm sorry Jackson, but there's someone waiting on me right now. I can't put him aside any longer." I rose from the bench and straightened out my clothing, trying to un-see that hurt look on my friend's face. If only he knew how torn up inside I was from just uttering those words. I recovered my composure and passed both Emma and Jackson by to reenter the house. Jake was leaning against the counter, wide eyes watching me with something akin to wonder.

I approached him slowly, taking the time for my heart to reorganize itself. All those past emotions I had harbored secretly for Jackson were folded up and thrown away. Those vindictive feelings towards Emma were carefully repacked and incinerated. All those precious memories tarnished by my conversation with Emma and Jackson were shredded and blown away in the presence of the one I loved. Jake watched me approach and I forgot that I had ever cared for anyone else.

Jacob's wide hands slid around my waist to pull me into his warm body. Our lips met slowly and chastely, just the briefest of connections. My eyes drifted closed and I just breathed his presence in. His breath was hot against my face, his hands burning where they pressed into my back lightly. I leaned my body into his and fell into him emotionally. I was drowning in his love, yet that very love was buoyant and supportive, holding me and breathing me in deeply. When we finally pulled apart to breathe, it was like we didn't separate at all. We were still very attached emotionally.

"I love you." He whispered, but his words were totally unecessary. I already knew he loved me. He already knew I love him too, but I said the words back, because I decided in that moment that I would choose him over anything and anyone. I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone else. He brought me undescribable happiness without conditions, he merely lived his life with me in his heart. No expectations, no demands, no questions. Just love.

"I love you too."


	22. Chapter 22

Two days after my conversation with Emma, she and Jackson returned home. They had taken enough time away from work and I was whole again, in more than one way. We said our farewells, promised to stay in contact and went our separate ways. When they boarded the plane back to Pennsylvania, I watched them leave with no remorse. I had changed so much in their absence, and this new woman I had changed into wasn't sure there was still a place for them in my life. Whatever wandering spirit had forced me to travel before, had abated in favor of a real home.

Two weeks later, the first snow fall of the season fell over La Push in a soft, white blanket. Jake woke me at midnight to watch the snowflakes decorate the world with white powder. We spent the entire day laughing and playing in the snow like children. I felt free and uninhibited for the first time in years. I delighted in the fact that I was truly home and I was surrounded by people I loved. Nothing could go wrong in this perfect world, but of course, anything that is 'perfect,' must go wrong.

Exactly one week before Christmas, Bella came back.

Word had been passed to Sam from Carlisle Cullen, the leader of the vampire coven that had previously lived in Forks, before they showed up. The treaty that had been abandoned in their absence was temporarily reinstated for the Christmas holiday. They only intended to stay until New Years, and then they would be gone again, off to parts unknown. They had to meet in person to iron out any details however, so when he came back, emotionally wounded, I was furious. He refused to talk about meeting them again, leaving me to make tons of assumptions about what had happened that day. When I saw them though, everything became so very clear to me.

They were all drop-dead gorgeous. From the tips of their toes, to the clear lines of their faces, all eight of them were pale perfection. I vaguely remembered Bella Swan from the numerous times she had visited La Push as a child, but seeing her as the un-dead was an entirely new experience. Her brown hair fell like silk over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes were the color of dark gold, that shade that gold is just before they can classify it as bronze. Her lips were full and red, the perfect complement to the pale pallat that was her face, her eyes framed by thick, brown lashes. Her body was solid, but not intimidating, curvy, but not voluptuous. I stared at her through the trees and felt my self-esteem plummet to the ground in comparison to her cold beauty. Jake stood by her, my bronze god of a boyfriend, an organic statue compared to her cold beauty. She reached out a hand and placed it so softly on his face. When he didn't pull away, I felt my heart crack into a thousand pieces.

I could not compare. So I didn't try.

I ran all the way home and went straight up to my bedroom, where I immediately collapsed on my bed. I shoved my face into my pillow and tried not to cry too loud. If there were words to express my despair, I would share them, but my emotions were quite beyond literary terms at the moment. When I was done sobbing my eyes out, I curled into a ball on my bed and thought about that scene in the woods. There was no truly incriminating evidence between Jacob and Bella. They had been just standing there in the woods, talking, and her hand had fallen upon his face, but she was so beautiful. How could he not fall in love with her all over again? How could anyone want to come back to me after seeing her? The glorious figure she was today was nothing like the clumsy little girl she had been years ago. There seemed to be only one conclusion, Jacob would choose her and I would be nothing to him again. It would be Embry all over again.

I started to cry all over again. I would not be able to take another heart break. Too much of me would be lost in the process. I had loved Embry, truly, but what I felt for Jacob was beyond that. I was in it for the long haul, I could see myself with no one else, but if he chose her, it was all over. Our little world would crash around us as he reformed a relationship with her and gave me all sorts of excuses, all with the intention of leaving me.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"August?" I would recognize that voice even if I spent a million years away from him. My dark dreams disappeared as I woke to Jacob stroking the hair from my face. My eyes felt swollen and I knew I had tear tracks down my face. I stared at him through tired, squinted eyes and felt my heart rip just a little bit more. It would come now, the ruination of our relationship. I didn't want to hear it, I wasn't ready. I would never be ready to watch him walk away from me for the last time. I rolled away from him and felt my eyes burn, but I couldn't cry again, I had exhausted my tear ducts.

"August? What's wrong? Emily told me you've been up here crying all day." He laid down on the bed beside me and pulled my stiff form into his body. I wanted to cry and scream and melt into him all at once, but I forced my body to remain rigid. "Talk to me, what's wrong?" He sounded panicked, which confused me. Why should he be panicked at the idea of my tears?

"Leave me alone." I croaked. I had lost my voice some time ago. My throat was utterly trashed after the crying jag I had gone through. Unfortunately, Jacob didn't respond well to that order. He gripped my arms and flipped my onto my back so he could pin me to the bed.

"Hell no. Tell me what's going on. Why have you been crying? Who do I have to beat down?" I tried to turn my head away at the very least, but one of his very warm hands turned my head back so he could meet my tormented eyes. The pity in his heads made hate burn in my heart. I was angry. How could another person who professed to love me turn me aside? Wasn't once enough?

"I said, leave me alone!" Because my voice was gone, I couldn't say the words very loudly, but the venom they held was enough to make him reel backwards in surprise.

"What's wrong with you? Why won't you just talk to me?" He wiped the pads of his thumbs across my face, rubbing the tear tracks away. "I just want to know why you're so upset. Please, I love you." He whispered the words into my ear before turning to press a kiss against my forehead.

"No, no, no." I moaned, shoving him with all the strength I possessed. I was weak with emotional exhaustion, but even if I was at full strength, I wouldn't have been able to push him aside. "No more lies. I can't take anymore." Just when I thought my suffering was over, he kissed me hard on the mouth, swallowing my protests.

"I would _never _lie to you." He said those words so fiercely, but I couldn't believe him. I just couldn't. "I love you more than life itself. You are the one who holds me to this Earth, not gravity. You keep me centered when life is utterly fucked. You are the reason my heart beats, my lungs breathe and my wounds bleed. I never want to know a day without your presence in my life."

I lay there on the bed, my eyes wide and my mouth slightly open. I stared at him with trembling lips and tried to fathom what he just expressed to me. He loved me? But... but what? Why had I assumed he would fall in love with someone else? Because she was more beautiful than I?

"Speak to me." He whispered the words, his face pressed against the crook of my neck. His body was shaking, not like he was going to change, but as though he was overwhelmed with emotion.

"I don't know what to say." I admitted, completely flummoxed.

"Say you still love me." He lifted his head from my neck and stared at me with vulnerable eyes. Even with all the hurt in my heart, did I still love him? Yes.

"Yes." His expression slowly changed, his brow raising in humor as we both realized I had answered a question that hadn't been asked. I blushed before speaking again. "I mean, yes, I still love you."

"Good." Then he leaned in and kissed me deeply. His body wrapped around mine completely and I was suddenly aware of him intimately. Every inch of that gorgeous body was laying against me. His kiss was consuming and passionate. Love poured out of his body and filled every fiber of my being. In turn, I kissed him back and tried to express all the love that had been pent up inside of me. He held my body so close to his; I felt petite in comparison to him. He was just so big and I simply wasn't.

"You make me feel beautiful." I whispered, my lips brushing his. I stroked his eyebrows even as they furrowed in confusion.

"I don't have to try. You are beautiful." I smiled at the sentiment, but didn't give it much credit. People said that often enough, but it was hard to believe them when all you see when you look in the mirror is a flawed girl who can't get her act together.

"Thanks." I brushed the moment aside and went back to memorizing his facial features. I loved every bit of him and wanted to know him inside and out.

"C'mere." Jake abruptly rose from the bed, pulling me with him. He dragged me to the full body mirror next to my repaired dresser and placed me in front of him. He stood behind me, a model of beauty compared to my pathetic comparison. "Look at yourself." He commanded, so I did.

My skin is the color of a tarnished copper penny, that dark russet color that all the Quileutes have. My hair is black and hangs in a flat line all the way to my elbows. My skin is peppered with dips and scars from my travels. I'm not the most graceful person and my body shows the evidence. I've always scarred easily, every trip could be read from my body. The bottom of my chin has a scar across it from where I tripped coming up the stairs when I was a child and bashed my chin against the porch step. My hands have several scars from knives that I accidently cut myself with when cooking and my legs have plenty of scars from shaving. The base of my left foot has a scar from stepping on a nail that was laying out in the garage. Of course, then you have to consider the newest ones.

Not external, because despite the ferocity of the fight between the boys, those wounds were all internal. No, I'm talking about the wounds in my heart. My green eyes, the only thing my father ever gave me, were the windows into the abyss that held my misery. Deep inside, I was biased against myself. I saw this foolish child who gave away her innocence for one night to forget what it was like to be alone. I saw a woman who couldn't really trust any man, because who could love someone who didn't love theirself? I never believed I was worthy of Embry, or now of Jacob, because I wasn't whole and healthy. I was wounded, constantly bleeding internally from wounds inflicted too long ago. I panicked at the touch of men because a man had touched me. There was nothing about me to love, because I was too broken.

"Tell me, what do you see when you look in this mirror?" I thought about answering him, but his question seemed rhetorical. "I only ask because I don't think you see the same thing that I do." I raised an eyebrow at him in the mirror and he smiled softly back at me. His hands were resting on my hips, but now he lifted them to my temples. "These eyes find me, when I can't find myself. These lips kiss me with love, when I don't think I'm worth it. These hands hold me, when I'm falling apart." He held my small hands in his and I listened, because for the first time, I realized that I was hearing the truth.

"These arms wrap around me, regardless of what I've said or done. This heart loves me, when all I can think about is how I've never loved anyone as much as I love you." His hands trailed down my body, sliding slowly down the sides of my breasts to my hips and as far as he could reach until he was bent down, his head pressed to the curve of my neck. I could feel his next words against my skin. "This body tempts me, when I'm trying to think chaste thoughts." I would have been fine with that sentence if he hadn't pulled me flush against his body. The back of my body touched the front of his and I panicked.

I tore myself out of his arms and tripped over the bed in my rush to get to the other side of the room. He stumbled after me, a giant figure against my bed. He grabbed my leg, trying to slow me down so I would just stop, but I was beyond thinking at that point. I kicked out as hard as I could and made contact with his face. He released me with a grunt and I slid off the bed. When I was finally in the corner, I curled up into a ball and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong.

"August, shit." Jake was sliding off the edge of the bed and moving towards me, but I held out a hand in a stopping motion, causing him to pause midstep. "I'm sorry. I went too far. Please, don't freak out." He knelt down on the floor where he was and slowly started crawling my way. I whimpered and shoved back against the wall. He froze once more and didn't move any closer.

"Don't." I begged. I needed him to stay right there while my instinct to _runrunrun _faded. I was one traumatized little individual.

"I wanna kill whoever did this to you. They hurt you so bad and they don't even know it. Godammit!" His hands were closed fists at his side. I took deep breaths and slowly, my heart rate lowered to the point where I could relax a little.

"You can come closer now. But, go slow." He edged closer to me, slowly like I asked. When he was finally next to me, I let him pull me into his arms until I was completely in his lap. He held me close and protected me from the demons that raged inside my head.

"Nobody's ever gonna hurt you again August. Not if I have anything to say about it." I scoffed, even as I rubbed my head against his chest.

"You can't always be there Jake. There's always gonna be some time where I'm alone and you can't protect me." I felt very dark and melodramatic. "You can't protect me from myself."

"You need to talk to somebody about what happened." I flinched and tried to pull away. "No, you're not going anywhere. I'm serious, what that guy did to you really messed you up and I'll always love you regardless," He hastily added when I started to pull away in earnest, "but you need to heal some of these emotional wounds. I'm just not the most stable individual." I relaxed against him and pressed a kiss to his neck.

"I'm always gonna be a little messed up Jake. I mean, jeez, all you did was touch me and I freaked. It's not something I can control either." I felt more than a little embarrassed over my behavior. I felt like some shameful child who couldn't resist sticking my hand in the cookie jar. Except, my results didn't bring a lovely cookie, all I got was funny looks and pity. I didn't want either of those.

"Maybe, but talking to someone who will understand is the first step to recovering. You may never be completely comfortable with being touched, but at least you might be able to relax those reactions some." His words made sense. How had I gotten so lucky as to snag a man like him? He was so... _perfect_.

"You're right. You're absolutely right." We sat there, curled up in the corner. Snug as a bug in a rug as Mrs. Uley used to say.

"So, are you ready to tell me why you were crying now?" Can of worms number two? Check.


	23. Chapter 23

Epilogue

There are not many words I can use to describe my relationship with Jacob. Solid is a good one, but it doesn't really grasp the concept of perfection and eternity accurately. We dove into our relationship with a haphazard glance at the world around us and pretty much said _fuck it_. You see, I don't want to be anywhere he isn't and I'm no where that he's not. We're a package deal and there is no way anyone could sever this relationship.

I'm so thankful that I found Jake, or to be honest, that he found me. I had been wandering in circles for so long, in search of my blood family to see if home could be found in my father, but I was incredibly wrong. All my adventures had never done me any good, just caused heart ache and broken friendships. Emma and Jackson, while they had been everything I needed at the time, were not the family I was meant to find. I had been looking for consistancy and support and they had provided, but I had found something so much better in the place I orignally left.

Though, on a random note, I did eventually find my father. Jake and I took a honeymoon in Florida right after we said "I do" (three years to the day after I found him and Bella in the woods). Orlando is a crazy city, let me just say that straight up front. I thought Pittsburgh was a big city, but oh no, Orlando is huge. I learned how to lock our rental car doors everytime we got out of the car, and to never venture out at night by myself. Oh, and one way streets are a bitch. Safe to say I learned a lot while we were there. We were sitting in the Orlando International Airport, waiting on our flight back home and this guy walked up and had a seat across from us. I thought nothing of it until he shifted in his seat so I could get a better look at him.

It was my father. I mean, the man who had donated a good portion of my biological make up was sitting right across from me for the first time since I was three years old. What was I supposed to say, or do for that matter? So I sat there, ignored him and watched him walk away when he boarded his flight. Jake turned to me immediately afterwards and asked, "Who was that guy?" Maybe he expected a more significant answer for all the staring I had done at him, but I only responded with, "No one of importance."

You see, I had finally learned the lesson that my heart had been trying to teach me from day one. Home is a state of mind, not a physical place or an actual person. It isn't your family or friends or anyone. It's you. It's the sense of wellbeing and warmth that you experience when you enter a room and see that person who makes everything wonderful. My father could not provide that for me, he never could, so why should I bother asking him to remember me last minute when I had already discovered a beautiful home with Jacob?

He and I are... solid.


End file.
